The vast majority of guilt does you no good at all. It doesn’t help you feel optimistic and positive about Life, it doesn’t help you feel good about yourself, and it doesn’t help you move forward.
All this kind of guilt does is keep you chained to the past and beating yourself up over all the things you “woulda, shoulda, and coulda”.
There’s a good kind of guilt—the pricking of your conscience—that tells you that you may have hurt someone and now you need to do the right thing. Even if you find out after the fact—perhaps way after the fact—make the necessary apologies then move on. But any other type of guilt is a waste of your time and energy.
Get rid of guilt. Leave it in the past where it belongs and move on to a bright future.
Your homework today is to let go of the bad guilt.
The fact that you’re feeling guilt is a good thing—it means you come to situations with an open heart and you try to give your best. But the fact that you’re hanging onto it, clinging to it, and using it as a weapon against yourself is not a good thing. This is the stuff to toss out.
When things don’t go quite as you planned, apologize, discover why things went off track, then make a note to do better next time.
No need to hang on, to revisit it, to angst over it.
Sometimes, though, the guilt starts up. When this happens, remind yourself that you’ve apologized and made amends, you understand where you went wrong, and you’ve made a pact with yourself to do better next time. Keep reminding yourself of this as often as you need to.
Recognize that this is a process and it might take time. If you stick with it, you’ll soon find that guilt has lessened its grip on you. And, when you keep at it, one day you’ll find that guilt has no hold over you at all.
Yay you! I knew you could do it!
I’m so proud of you!
Your Friend and Pep Pal,