The Tone of Your Voice

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Talk.png
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Talk.png

 

The Tone of Voice 

It’s not so much what you say,

As the manner in which you say it;

It’s not so much the language you use

As the one in which you convey it;

‘Come here!’ I sharply said,

And the child cowered and wept.

‘Come here’, I said softly—

He looked and smiled

And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair

And the tone my pierce like a dart;

Words my be soft as the summer air,

But the tone may break my heart;

For words come from the mind

Grow by study and art—

But tone leaps from the inner self,

Revealing the state of heart.

Whether you know it or not,

Whether you mean or care,

Gentleness, kindness, love and hate,

Envy, anger are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid

And peace and love rejoice?

Keep anger not only out of your words—

Keep it out of your voice.

~Anonymous

 

We all know how our tone of voice can dramatically affect our relationships with others. If we say something “the wrong way” (not so much our choice of words but rather they way we say it), we can deeply hurt someone and damage our relationship with them. That’s why, especially in delicate situations, we take care with our words and soften our tone of voice.

But what tone of voice to we use with ourselves—the tone we use in our self-talk?

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Defense.gov_News_Photo_040812-N-6811L-077.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Defense.gov_News_Photo_040812-N-6811L-077.jpg

Your homework today is to be mindful of not only the words you use with your self-talk but also pay particular attention to the tone in which you say them.

Make sure your words to yourself are supportive and encouraging and that you say them in a tone that conveys love and caring.

Even if you find that from time-to-time you need to speak firmly to yourself—for instance, you need to buckle down and get to work—do so in a tone that conveys confidence in yourself to do the right thing and follow through and that you believe in your value and worth.

You can do it!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

What I’ve Learned: Writing Weekly Plans

Copyright 2014 Artisans Workshop Designs
Copyright 2014 Artisans Workshop Designs

 

Yesterday was the start of a new month.

To give you a little backstory, I’ve been doing things a little different this year. Instead of writing out my goals for the year only once (at the beginning of the year) and writing the goals for the current month only once (at the start of each month), I’ve decided to write out my 2015 goals and the current month’s goals once each week as I plan out that week.

I’ve already noticed a difference!

Yesterday, as I reviewed January’s goals, I discovered a pattern. While I had worked on tasks and projects that moved me toward my goals and dreams, I found I was much more likely to do the easy and fun steps and assignments. I clearly saw that I gave “a lick and a promise” to the things that overwhelmed or intimidated me or the things that appeared too difficult.

This is valuable information!

This tells me that I need to buckle down and not let myself off the hook so easily and to encourage myself to work on the things that make me nervous.

It also tells me that the tasks and projects that are creating my anxiety need to be broken down into smaller pieces—they’re still too big for me. I need to break these down into steps and break those into parts and break those into pieces and break those down until I get to the tiny bits that I know are easy for me to do. I know for certain that I’m more apt to follow through on the bite-sized pieces. This is because I’ll feel confident in my ability to do them—and to handle it if something goes wrong or turns out to be much different than what I thought. Also, these bite-sized pieces will fly under the radar of my resistance. Even if they don’t, even if these tiny bits are picked up by my Resistance Radar, the blip will be much smaller and I’ll have a good chance of overriding the anxiety or nerves. I’ll be more likely to do the tiny bit in spite of the slight resistance I may be feeling.

The other thing I plan to do to help myself change the pattern of avoiding some tasks and projects is to reward myself. After completing a tiny bit of a step I could reward myself with reading a chapter of a novel or daydreaming for a few minutes. I think, though, that a better reward would be to sit quietly after completing the tiny bit and savor the feelings of accomplishment. At the bottom of the resistance is a lack of confidence and taking the few minutes to treasure my achievements, no matter how small or humble, will help me build a solid foundation of self-confidence,

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Team_touching_hands.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Team_touching_hands.jpg

Your homework today is to commit to each week writing out your goals for 2015 and your goals for the current month—in addition to writing out your plans for the week. As you go through the month, keep an eye on what you don’t cross off the list. Is it showing you that you’re avoiding completing tasks and projects that will move you light-years ahead to your dreams?

If so, break these tasks and projects into steps, then into parts, then into pieces, then into tiny bits. Break them down to the point where you know that they’re a snap for you to do. Then, of course, follow through and do them!

Remember to honor yourself by taking the time to bask in the glow of your accomplishments and achievements, no matter how small or humble. Invite your friends and family to celebrate with you, if you’d like.

This is all good stuff and I know you can do it!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal

Lauren

A Perfect Day to Go Play!

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Snowballs,_Snow_Men_and_Sledding_Drawing.png
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Snowballs,_Snow_Men_and_Sledding_Drawing.png

 

Even though you’re totally focused on going for your dreams and even though you’re having a blast, you still need to play.

Play is that time that you do something you enjoy just for the pure blissful fun of it!

 

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wilson_American_football.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wilson_American_football.jpg

Your homework today is to play!

 

 

 

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=65716&picture=hand-playing-on-digital-piano
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=65716&picture=hand-playing-on-digital-piano

Whether you goof around with your kids, family, and friends, or if you indulge in a favorite craft or hobby, go for it! Totally immerse yourself in it and absorb all the fun, joy, and pleasure out of it that you can.

 

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3a/Pink_knitting_in_front_of_pink_sweatshirt.JPG
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3a/Pink_knitting_in_front_of_pink_sweatshirt.JPG

Remember this experience because it can be a source of inspiration and motivation when you’re feeling anxious, sad, or unsure.

 

 

 

Courtesy of the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks
Courtesy of the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks

And for those of you who are American football fans—enjoy the Super Bowl! Go Team, Go!

You can do this—it’s a snap for you!

I’m so proud of you and happy for you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren