What I’ve Learned: The Truth About Failure

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The following quotes are a few things I’ve recently realized about failure, what it is, and what it means. I hope these are helpful.

 

Failure is a passing (temporary) event–a comma in a person’s life. Failure is not a description of who a person is–it is not a period. ~Lauren, Your Friend and Pep Pal

 

A failure is only a failure if you stop. If you keep going past the failure, you’ll find that it leads you to someplace unexpected and oftentimes more precious than where you initially were headed. ~Lauren, Your Friend and Pep Pal

 

You’re in a rough patch because something failed. You’re so busy staring at the failure that you don’t see off to the side the glimmering pathway leading to something much, much better. ~Lauren, Your Friend and Pep Pal

 

Failure is an opportunity to stop thinking and doing things conventionally. It’s an opportunity to stop following the crowd; an opportunity to finally listen to your gut instincts, which are really your Still Small Voice coupled with the urgings and whisperings of your heart and soul ~Lauren, Your Friend and Pep Pal

 

Failure is The Universe trying to point you in a different, much better, direction. The pain, angst, and humiliation come from your ego stomping its little slippered foot because it didn’t get it’s way. ~Lauren, Your Friend and Pep Pal

 

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Your homework today is to take a look at that failure you’ve experienced–take a close look. Approach it from a totally unconventional manner by tuning into your heart and soul. What are they urging you to do? Where are they pointing?

I know it’s hard to do this. It’s uncomfortable. But you’ve got the particular strength and just the right smarts in order to make your dreams come true.

Keep going! Keep thinking! Keep taking bits of steps!

You can do it, I know you can!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Feelings, Wo-o-o, Feelings…and Why They’re So Important

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Feelings and emotions are the building blocks of how you get to your dreams.

It isn’t enough to map out a plan, to figure out the timeline, and to try to take the steps. Without excitement and enthusiasm, you’ll quickly run out of steam. What’s worse is then you’ll start thinking—and believing—that it’s too hard to go for your dreams, that you don’t have what it takes, and that perhaps all the naysayers in your life were right and that you should throw in the towel.

NO!!!!

Don’t believe any of that!

Keep reading and I think we can come up with a technique that can help.

So, maybe you can’t generate enough good feelings and excited emotions about your dreams because they seems too big and too overwhelming. This is where breaking your dreams into manageable steps and bits becomes very valuable.

Break your dream into steps that common sense tells you will help you achieve your dreams. Then break those steps into smaller and smaller increments until you come to the little bits and smidgens that you CAN get excited about and you CAN believe and know that you CAN achieve them. Choose the bits and smidgens that you CAN do with excitement, enthusiasm, and expectation that more Good Stuff coming your way!

Then do them!

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For your homework today, choose one step that you want to take but have been procrastinating about doing. Break the step into the tiniest bits and choose one that you can do with excitement.

Then do it!

The next part of your homework is to think about and feel the empowering enthusiasm you feel as you’re doing the bit and then the satisfaction and energy you feel when you complete it. Let those feelings and emotion imbue you all the way to your core. Take time to bask in those feelings and emotions. Note were they are in your body. For instance, you may feel warmth centered in your chest spread out to all parts of you, or you may feel that your stomach is clicking its heels and rarin’ to go!

Even though these good feelings and excited emotions may feel small right now, they are solid and strong. You can rely on them. You are safe in using them as the foundation and building blocks that help you move forward tiny bit by tiny bit.

Now choose another bit that you’ll do, making sure you set a firm date for doing it! Then when it’s time to do that bit, take a moment before you start to conjure up and remember how you just felt when you did the last bit. Let those feelings and emotions bloom inside you and then do the next bit!

Keep repeating this process all the way to your dreams—WooHoo!

You can do it, I know you can!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Golden Wisdom: One Foot

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Put one in front of the other; things’ll work out. ~Stan and Elaine Mrus

 

These two very simple sentences hold the key to working yourself out of any rough patch: keep taking action—the best common sense steps that come to mind—and things will work out for you.

Oftentimes well-meaning friends and family will console you by saying things will work out. This is true to a degree. Things will work out in that your crisis-response to the rough patch will fade over time.

But that doesn’t mean that things are working out the way you hoped they would!

Without taking action and instead allowing things to work out as they will, more often than not, they won’t work out the way you hoped or wanted. Instead, what happens is that you become used to whatever difficulties the rough patch brought to you. For instance, it could be that you’re now making less money and you’ve adjusted your budget and lifestyle to accommodate that. You don’t like it, but you’re used to it and you draw comfort from telling yourself that one day things will get better.

But that isn’t really ‘things working out’!

To make sure things work out in your favor you need to take action! You need to take steps to ensure that things work out the way you want them to.

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Your homework today is to combine taking action steps with the belief that things are working out for you. You may not know how they’ll work out but know that as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other, things will work out.

Break the action steps into little pieces and small parts. Break those down until you get to little bits. If you need to, break those down even further until you get to the teensy jots and specks that are just the right size for you to quickly and easily complete.

Then do them!

You can do it, I know you can!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Motivating Quotes

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It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. – E. E. Cummings

 

Show me a person who doesn’t make mistakes and I’ll show you a person who doesn’t do anything. – Leonard Rubino

 

Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t. – Jerry Rice
Too many people are thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, when they ought to just water the grass they are standing on. – Amar Dave

 

Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on one’s ideas, to take a calculated risk – and to act.    – Maxwell Maltz

 

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. – George Bernard Shaw

 

Don’t wait for something big to occur. Start where you are, with what you have, and that will always lead you into something greater. – Mary Manin Morrissey

 

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Your homework today is to say these quotes to yourself. Choose at least one that rings true for you. Keep it handy and repeat it to yourself as you go through your day. Let the motivation and inspiration that the author packed into these quotes give you the energy to take the next step!

You can do it!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Do the Work: Inner Work

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We think that all we have to do is complete the steps—the tasks, jobs, and projects that make up those steps—and we’ll achieve our dreams. This is a big part of it but going for our dreams also entails doing inner work.

Inner work is just as important as the outer work is when we’re going for our dreams.

When we hit rough patches, in addition to looking outside of ourselves to find solutions, we also need to look inside and see what part of the problem is because of us—because of what we are doing that we shouldn’t or we’re not doing something that we should be.

But we’re afraid to do the inner work.

We think it’s too much, or it’s too hard or we’ll uncover stuff that’s too bad. When we think of inner work we think it’s too overwhelming or that it’ll crush us. Another set of excuses are that we’re too tired and exhausted, or that we just plain old can’t do it.

But it’s all these reasons and excuses that lets us know that this is exactly and precisely the inner work that we must do.

Yes, it can be tough and hard and overwhelming and scary and too much and exhausting and mind-bending and mind-boggling…. But we gotta do it.

The fact that we’re feeling all this tells us that we are on the right track with this inner work. Buckle your seatbelt and do the work!

Because the work won’t go away.

It’ll just keep us stuck in the same place or, if we do manage to move forward, we do so at a slow pace and we don’t move as fast or as high as we could if we would do the work. It’s like trying to win the Indy 500 with your foot on the brake and the emergency brake on. We don’t get very far or go very fast.

Do the inner work.

 

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Your homework today is to do the inner work. Yes, it can be scary and overwhelming, which is why you can—and should—break it down into small pieces and little parts. Set yourself up for success with this.

For instance, what props do you need to make yourself feel safe and secure? Does the scent of fresh baked cookies or pumpkin pie make you feel safe? If so, of course you could bake some cookies or pie or you can purchase a candle of this scent and light it when you’re doing inner work.

Another suggestion is to have soothing music playing or sitting in a favorite chair wrapped in a soft blanket. Perhaps it’s being in nature or listening to a YouTube audio of nature sounds.

There are many things you can do to set yourself up for success.

Do them so that you can do the inner work!

You can do it!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Hug Your Sweetie Day!

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I just learned that August is Hug Month and today is Hug Your Sweetheart Day! WooHoo!

Hugging and being with people you like and love is a wonderful restorative for your soul and just the boost your spirit may need so you can take the next step.

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Your homework today is to hug the people you care about, whether or not you have a sweetheart. The people who are close to you, who like you and love you, are a type of sweetheart, too!

You can do it—especially this fun homework assignment!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

PS Remember to hug yourself, too!!

I Like You Just the Way You Are: Revisited

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I was looking over the posts that seem to resonate most with people and this one posted on March 20, 2014, “I Like You Just the Way You Are” is the top one so far.   Mr. Rogers made the saying popular and it can’t be repeated often enough.

I like you just the way you are!

I like you just the way you are!

I like you just the way you are!

I like you just the way you are!

I like you just the way you are!

I like you just the way you are!

I like you just the way you are!

I like you just the way you are!

I like you just the way you are!

I like you just the way you are!

 

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Your homework today is to stand straight and tall in front of your mirror with a smile on your face. With all the enthusiasm you can muster, say these sentences to yourself, stressing the word in italics. Do this often throughout your day—especially when you need a little pick-me-up.

The second part of your homework is to say this sentence to someone you care about or someone who needs a boost.

You can do it!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

 

Review Your Week: The Crowds in Your Mind

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We’ll finish out this week’s subject of crowds by turning our attention to the crowd we have in our minds (click here for Monday’s post, click here for Tueday’s post, click here for Wednesday’s post, and click here for yesterday’s post).

You can’t be successful and reach your dreams if your head is filled with what you’re doing wrong, the problems you are facing, and your doubts about it ever working out for you. You don’t help yourself move forward by thinking that your efforts don’t matter or that if your idea was such a good one then someone better than you would have already done it.

These thoughts are not good for you and not helpful in moving you forward. And they certainly don’t make you feel good about yourself, glad to be who you are, and excited about your future!

With all this chatter and noise ricocheting around in your mind, no wonder you’re confused, anxious, and frustrated. No wonder that you can’t hear the Still Small Voice! And it isn’t a mystery why you aren’t feeling the nudges your heart gives toward a certain direction or that you aren’t picking up the hunches and prods of intuition from your soul.

The negative thoughts and its constant babbling MUST STOP! You MUST fill your mind with ALL of your successes!

Ugh.

So, what’s a person supposed to do—especially if that person doesn’t feel very successful yet.

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Make note of all your successes each day as well as successes that you’ve had in the past. Start with the small stuff that you do every day without realizing it such as you got out of bed (there are many people who never make it this far in their day!), you got dressed (there are people who can’t manage this consistently!).

Think about how you managed to eat something today (I hope it was nutritious!). Not only that but you were able to figure out how to earn enough money so that you could go to the store and select good food. Then you figured out how to prepare it so that you enjoyed eating it.

I know it seems very silly to break down your successes this detailed—but then again, that’s the negative chatterbox in your mind that’s scoffing at you and making you feel foolish!!

People who are truly supportive and encouraging—including the supportive and encouraging thoughts in your mind—won’t laugh at you for being this detailed. Instead, they’ll cheer you on. They know that you need to overwhelm your mind with how successful you already are in order for you to go on to more and bigger success!

Let me repeat that.

People and thoughts that are truly supportive and encouraging will cheer you on as you help yourself by detailing every teensy-tiny, seemingly insignificant, success because they know that acknowledging successes is the key to rocketing yourself to more and bigger success.

 

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Your homework today is to review your week and list all of your successes, especially the itsy-bitsy “trivial” ones. Then, when that negative chatterbox starts up in your mind, overwhelm it by listing all the successes you’ve already achieved.

Keep doing this! Soon that chatterbox won’t be so easy to hear!

Then, with your list of successes in hand, CELEBRATE!

Applaud yourself for the things you do to provide a good life for yourself. Pat yourself on the back for showing up day in and day out. Congratulate yourself for the small bits and pieces of steps that you’ve accomplished.

You did well! I knew you could!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Crowd Yourself with Evidence of Your Success

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All week long we’ve been talking about crowds (click here for Monday’s post, click here for Tuesday’s post, and click here for yesterday’s post).

Do you know that the crowds surrounding you aren’t just people? The evidence of your success—or the evidence of your mediocrity or failure—is also a crowd that surrounds you.

Your home. Is it cluttered, chaotic, and dirty?

It doesn’t have to be a mansion in order for you to take care of it. You can keep it neat and tidy AS IF it were the mansion of your dreams. Keeping an orderly living space is evidence of your success.

The way you dress and carry yourself. Are your clothes soiled and wrinkled? Do you slouch and shuffle your feet when you walk?

You don’t have to dress in the latest fashions or spend a bundle on your wardrobe. All you have to do is wear clean clothing that’s neat and in good repair. As for your posture, stand straight and tall with your shoulders back so that you can look people right in the eye!

Your work space. Is your desk piled high with slips of paper, old coffee cups, and yesterday’s lunch leftovers?

Keep everything orderly and organized so you can put your best professional foot forward and do your best work. Not only will your boss appreciate it but you’ll feel better about yourself, too.

What you let into your mind rent-free. Are you mindful of what you’re watching on TV, listening to on the radio, viewing on the Internet? Are you watching those ridiculous reality shows or the doom-and-gloom news programs?

You’ve heard the saying “Silence is golden”. Turn off all electronics so that you can hear the Still Small Voice within you. Your mind will clear and you’ll get incredible insights from your heart and soul.

All of this is evidence of your success!

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Your homework today is to take a very close look at everything that’s surrounding you—not just the people. What is it saying to you? Is it telling you that you’re on your way and that you can do it?   Or is everything telling you that you’re all washed up and there’s no hope for you?

Just like the unhelpful people in your life, get rid of the things that are kicking your legs out from under you and then holding you down! They aren’t doing you any good; you don’t need them!

Get rid of them!

You can do it!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Most People Want to Help, Be Respectful

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We’ve been talking this week about crowds: click here for Monday’s post and click here for yesterday’s post

One thing to remember is that even people who are not right for you (the ones you are limiting your contact with and will eventually move them out of your life), even those people are trying to be helpful. They may be going about it in a way that is not helpful to you but, for the most part, they want to help you.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t ever move them out of your life; be compassionate as you do so. There’s no need to hurt their feelings or make them feel foolish, stupid, or worthless.

It’s the rare person who is mean and nasty through-and-through and who takes perverse pleasure in your failures, especially if they get to push you into crashing and burning. It’s the unusual person who willfully chooses to be cruel, unhelpful, and to block you from your good.

Most people don’t get up in the morning, rubbing their hands with glee, saying how they can’t wait to get going on the day so they can ruin it for everyone—especially you!

Most people are just like you: they have good days and bad ones; they want to lead a better life but they’re frightened, overwhelmed, frustrated, over-worked. Most people want to make a positive difference in others’ lives—they want to matter and be valued. But they aren’t sure how to do that so…they do the best they can, hoping that they get it right.

Their intent is to alert you to problems they’ve had and mistakes they’ve made so you avoid the pitfalls they stumbled into. And they want to inspire you to keep going when it’s tough and encourage you to get up when you’ve fallen.

Be thankful for the intent of their help (even though in actuality their help isn’t very helpful!) and graciously, courteously, send them on their way with your best wishes.

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Your homework today is to note which people aren’t as helpful as they may want to be. Before politely showing them the door, is it possible to have a conversation with them and let them know how they can be helpful to you? Perhaps all they need is a little direction and training!

Most of all, remember your manners when dealing with others and be courteous, polite, and respectful!

You can do it!

I’m so proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren