A note of thanks: This is my 600th post and I am so grateful and happy that you’re here to share this moment with me. I appreciate you being a part of this journey with me. Thank you very much!
During the day we sometimes need a boost and oftentimes just the right word will do the trick—will help us find that little bit of calm or the extra reserve of strength that we need to make it through to the next moment.
Here are some that I use:
I am a
victor, conqueror, overcomer, vanquisher;
I am a
hero, winner, champion, VIP;
intelligent, smart, astute, brilliant;
resourceful, creative, enterprising, inventive;
strong, mighty, empowered, capable and competent;
gifted, talented, fully equipped, ingenious;
brave, bold, spirited, spunky;
steadfast, persistent, resolute, determined;
vigorous, energized, rarin’-to-go, dynamic;
vim, vitality, zest, snap crackle and pop!
I have what it takes;
I have it going on;
I am an up-and-comer;
I can and I will do this!
Your homework today is to choose pep words that really get you going. Keep them in mind and say them to yourself all day long. Let their power infuse you and slingshot you toward your dreams.
For an added kick as you say these words to yourself, stand straight and tall in front of your mirror with a big smile on your face and looking yourself in the eye. Say these with as much energy and enthusiasm as you can.
I was talking to a friend the other day about fear and how to move forward in spite of it. She said some interesting things that I’d like to share with you.
My friend pointed out that fear falls into two categories. The first is the fears we have directly related to true life and death situations. For instance, fears about providing for basic survival needs such as safety and security, having food to eat, the ability to keep warm, having some type of shelter, and staying out of the way of harm.
These are fears that are real and need to be addressed as soon as possible.
The other type of fear is ego based. Examples are thinking that if we fail at something we’ll be embarrassed: “What will the neighbors think?” and “Everyone will laugh.” and “I’ll never be able to look anyone in they eye.” and “How could I hold my head up afterward?”
No one will die with these fears. Our ego may be bruised or thumped around a bit but no one will be harmed!
This got me to thinking….
How many times do we let relatively harmless fears stop us in our tracks? What dreams have you shelved or put on the back burner because you’re afraid you’ll appear foolish if you pursue them? Or you’re afraid of what your family, friends, neighbors, and strangers on the street would think of you and say about you if you failed?
It’s time to pull those dreams off the shelf. Take them off the back burner, put them onto the front burner, and then turn up the gas!
Your homework today is to be very mindful of when you are feeling anxious, worried, or fearful. Evaluate those emotions and determine if they are alerting you to a truly dangerous situation or if it’s just your ego feeling uncomfortable.
Then take action. Break steps into little parts and small pieces. Keep breaking those down until you get to the size that’s comfortable and easy for you to handle. Then do those bits!
Keep taking action! It’s the best antidote to fear!
Also, as you review your week, make sure you applaud the progress you’ve made and celebrate it! It’s important to acknowledge and applaud ALL the progress you’re making no matter how small and how seemingly insignificant.
Celebrating proves to yourself that working toward your goals and dreams has benefits and rewards!
When you’re in a state of anxiety, worry, fear, panic, or terror, it’s difficult to think straight and it’s even more difficult to take any action. Our natural tendency is to want to hide or to run in the opposite direction.
But hiding or running “for the hills” will not help. It may feel good for a little while but the issue is still there, lurking, waiting to pounce the moment you peep out of where you ducked for cover.
Yesterday we talked about Life’s Ambushes and how they can terrorize us. We learned that the best thing to do in that case is to take action. (click here to be taken to that post).
But if you’re scared stiff, how the heck are you supposed to move, much less take action?!
By breaking the actions into steps and breaking those into small parts and little pieces. Then break those into tidbits; break those into jots…. Keep breaking things down into smaller and smaller increments until you get to the tiny specks that you are confident that you can do–even if those specks are as small as atoms or even electrons! Then do them–cross them off your To Do list one by one.
You might be thinking: Easy for you to say but what does that look like, exactly?
Okay, let’s say you need a new job. You easily and quickly wrote up an excellent resume, you emailed and called all your contacts, and you looked online at different job postings. The last pro-active thing on your list is to call an employment agency to speak with a recruiter. But let’s say that you had a very bad experience previously so now just the thought of calling the agency creates such distress in you that you are literally trembling.
Break down the task of making the phone call into itsy-bitsy fragments of steps.
For instance, one day you put it on your To Do list to just think in general about phones. Perhaps you find it interesting that they were invented in the late 1800’s. You may find it fascinating thinking about the amazing changes telephone technology has gone through in the 139 years of its existence.
That’s all you have to do for the day. You can cross it off your To Do list! Make sure you congratulate yourself–pat yourself on the back for a job well done! Then reward yourself: listen to your favorite music for a half hour, read for 15 minutes, watch an episode of your favorite TV program, spend a half hour with your favorite hobby.
The next day you write down that you want to think of the phones you’ve had over the years: the clunky wired ones of your childhood all the way to the sleek wrist models that recently came to market.
Once you do this, then you’re done for the day. You don’t have to think about phones or phone calls to the recruiter at all! Again, cross it off your list and then celebrate your victory!
The following day, think about your current phone, it’s color and style. Remember the feel of it–its shape and its weight in your hand. Maybe, at this point, you can push yourself a little bit and think about the last conversation you had using it, or when you talked to your friend or loved one on the phone.
When that’s done, you can cross it off the list and celebrate. You did it!
Over the next few days you take the next few bits of steps: You’ll look at the phone; another day you’ll touch the phone; after that you’ll pick up the phone and listen to the dial tone. After each task finished, you’ll cross it off your list and celebrate.
Notice that each day you have something to cross off your To Do list–this is evidence that you are making progress which builds confidence and momentum. Notice, too, that you celebrate each day what you did that day. This shows your mind that facing your fear and taking small bits of action results in making progress and that there’s a reward for dealing with scary stuff and that reward feels good and makes you happy.
This conditions you to focus on successful outcomes!
Gradually you’ll progress to dialing the agency’s phone number and actually speaking to a recruiter.
While this example may seem silly and extreme, the principles apply to how to break down your action steps into teensy-tiny specks.
Sometimes, in order to conquer fear so you can move forward, the actions you take must be itsy-bitsy. If this is how small you have to break them down in order to move forward, it does not make you a weakling or incompetent, incapable, or silly.
Quite the contrary.
It makes you very, very brave because instead of shaking uncontrollably and staying frozen to the spot with fear, you are finding a way to move forward–in spite of your shaking and in spite of the terror.
That makes you brave.
That makes you courageous.
That makes you a hero!
Your homework is to take the next step. With your head held high, break that step into smaller and smaller pieces until you get to the tiny dots that you know you can easily accomplish. Then do them!
Then look in the mirror and see what a true hero looks like!
Life is an expert at guerilla warfare. It loves to sneak up and ambush us with deadly precision in our most tender spots.
When it happens, we’re shocked–stunned. We can’t think; we can’t breathe. Panic sets in along with Terror, its BFF (Best Friend Forever).
We’re helplessly spinning, free-falling into the abyss, ripped from our moorings.
We’re absolutely convinced that we are being obliterated. If, by chance, there are any pieces of us left, we’re positive that they’ll be so infinitesimally small that we’ll never find them much less be able to put them back together.
We are convinced we are going to die.
Recovery is so far-fetched and outlandish of an idea that we don’t even consider it–it isn’t even the teensiest-tiniest blip on our radar screen.
But recovery ispossible. While you may never be able to get back the life that you had before the deadly ambush, you can go on and build a life that you are proud of, one that’s fulfilling and that gives you great satisfaction and peace.
Even though this seems possible, it can be done. Not by quitting, giving up or giving in, and not by throwing in the towel. As yesterday’s quotes point out, Life’s Ambushes and the resulting panic and terror are conquered by taking action (click here to be taken to yesterday’s post).
Do not dismiss, sneer at, or look with contempt or derision at taking teeny tiny bits of steps. They add up over time! As long as you keep taking the tiny bits of steps–being relentless about it–you will crush it, guaranteed.
The reason why is precisely because Life is a guerilla fighter. It can’t last through the long haul. And Life can’t handle it when you charge at it by taking action.
If you keep at it–keep taking action by regularly taking little tidbits of steps, Life will quit first. It will blink first. It will be the first to slink away with its tail between its legs.
Your homework today is to take the next step. Break it down into little teeny tiny jots–specks small enough that you know for sure you can easily do them. Then do them!
You can do this, you are not alone. I am with you, cheering you on. I believe in you and I am convinced you can do it and that you will do it!
I am so proud of you for taking one jot of a step, then a speck of a step, then a crumb of a step…. You are AWESOME!
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
– Dale Carnegie
“Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to boldly walk through them.”
– Orison Swett Marden
“It’s all right to be afraid. You just don’t let it stop you from doing your job.”
– Jim Butcher
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
“We generate fears while we sit. We overcome them by action. Fear is nature’s way of warning us to get busy.”
– Dr. Henry Link
“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.”
– C. JoyBell C.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”
– Rosa Parks
“Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.”
– Doug Firebaugh
“Fear isn’t an excuse to come to a standstill. It’s the impetus to step up and strike.”
– Arthur Ashe
Your homework today is to push back against your fears by taking the next step. Break that step into little bits and pieces, as tiny as you need in order to feel comfortable and confident that you can do it. Then follow through and do it–do one little piece of a step!
You can do it, I know you can!
Keep today’s quotes handy so that you can refer to them often throughout your day–whenever you need a boost to help you take the next bit of a step. Feel free to come up with your own statements that help you forge ahead in spite of fear, anxiety, and worry.
Forgiveness is recognizing and solidly knowing that no matter what anyone else does or does not do, and no matter what situation or circumstance or even happens or doesn’t happen, and no matter what cards you have or have not been dealt in Life (or will or will not be dealt in the future), nothing can stop you from achieving your destiny. Nothing can take away, stop or prevent, or in any way block or delay all of the Good that is already yours and that has been yours since the beginning of Existence.
You may have to take the time and put in the effort to deepen your understanding, your skills, your knowledge, and other things, and people and events and cards may line up such that it fosters you taking a closer look, digging a little deeper, thinking and taking a deeper, wider, broader view of yourself, who, you are, and of Life and of your place in it, but no thing, no person, no nothing can stop your Good.
Your Good, your Destiny, who You Are (the True You) is ALL Divinely Ordained, Approved, Accounted For, and is already Allocated for You, and is in Your Own Personal Account and no one and no thing and no nothing has access to it. Only you do. God has already filled it to the brim, tamped and shaken down, solidly packed it, and it’s overflowing, and multiplied by a minimum of ten times.
Your homework today is to forgive by letting it all go. Release it, just drop it.
If those whiny thoughts come back and say “But what about what they said; what about what they did; what about what they didn’t say; what about what they didn’t do; what about what happened; what about what didn’t happen; what about the cards I was dealt; what about the cards I wasn’t dealt…”
Tell those thoughts to SHUT UP!
Then DON’T listen!
Instead, fill your mind with uplifting thoughts. Use ones that are meaningful and empowering to you. Go on the Internet and look for people who have inspiring messages and listen to the clips they have online. There are many, many sites and here are two I use: www.joelosteen.com then click the “messages” tab, and www.unity.org then click the “prayer” tab.