Change: How to Support Yourself

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=86017&picture=butterfly-on-hand
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=86017&picture=butterfly-on-hand

 

As we’ve discussed all week, change can be a challenge. It can be hard, uncomfortable, scary; it can get worse before it’s better, but we shouldn’t quit before it’s all said and done.  It’s important to keep plugging along and to head toward the light–or at least the path that isn’t as dark as the others.

It’s important, too, to keep up our morale. Sometimes we can turn to others but we may find that those close to us might be unnerved by the changes they’re sensing in us.  We may not be able to rely on them to be as supportive as they’ve always been.  We need to allow them to get used to the changes in us as much as we need to give ourselves a chance to get used to them!

In the meantime, we can boost our own morale. When we need encouragement, we can read accounts of how others have successfully changed and improved their lives.  We can do some mirror work and encourage as well as soothe ourselves by saying that this challenging and/or uncomfortable phase will pass–it won’t last forever.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Boy_with_life_preserver_fishes_off_pier_with_dog_near_by.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Boy_with_life_preserver_fishes_off_pier_with_dog_near_by.jpg

Getting out into Nature can be grounding, as can yoga, deep breathing, light exercise, and contemplation.

Other people have found that cleaning and organizing can center them. Many people find that cooking, baking bread, and tinkering in workshops can calm their nerves and steady them.

Experiment with different activities and note which ones work best for you. Feel free to use them as an aid to help you take the next step–even if it’s “just” an itsy-bitsy tidbit of a step!

Keep going!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

 

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Change: Head Toward the Light

https://pixabay.com/en/lighthouse-night-light-bill-sky-66943/
https://pixabay.com/en/lighthouse-night-light-bill-sky-66943/

 

 

In the midst of change, head toward the light.

Even if it’s so black that it seems as if there is no light, pause a moment, let your eyes adjust, and you’ll see a direction that isn’t as pitch black.  While you may not see any light, there usually is a path that it isn’t as black as the others.

Try that one.

Keep heading toward the light.

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Change: Don’t Quit Before the Whistle Blows

https://pixabay.com/en/race-aircraft-sky-clouds-92193/
https://pixabay.com/en/race-aircraft-sky-clouds-92193/

 

We’ve been talking about change all week. On Monday we talked about how hard it can be (click here to be taken to that post).  On Tuesday we talked about how change can be physically painful (click here to be taken to that post).  Yesterday we read Kate Northrup’s post about when making changes things often get worse before they get better (click here to be taken to that post).

Today, I’d like to share a post of Michael Hyatt’s where he talks about not quitting before the whistle blows–before the play is over. It’s directly applicable to what we’ve been talking about because so often we want to throw in the towel and walk away when changes don’t happen quickly–especially when everything seems to be crumbling around us.

Here’s Michael Hyatt’s post on Don’t Quit Before the Whistle Blows (click here to be taken to it).

https://pixabay.com/en/race-aircraft-sky-clouds-92193/
https://pixabay.com/en/race-aircraft-sky-clouds-92193/

Let me know what you think of his post in the comments section below. And, as always, if you know of a friend or loved one that can benefit from receiving this post, please feel free to pass it along to them.  Thanks!

Keep going!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Change: It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

Copyright 2014 LMC Images
Copyright 2014 LMC Images

 

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about change and how challenging it can be–physically and psychologically uncomfortable, too (click here to be taken to Monday’s post on how hard change can be and click here to be taken to yesterday’s post on how painful it can be)

I saw this post by Kate Northrup about how, when you’ve committed to making a change in your life–even the small stuff of cleaning out the junk drawer in your kitchen–the project seems to morph into this total mess that seems hopeless to clean up, much less that it would turn into something that can take you closer to your dreams.

Click here to be taken to Kate Northrup’s post Don’t worry. It gets worse before it gets better.

She’s right that you have to muddle on because quitting surely won’t get you anywhere but stuck–back at square one, to boot. If you muddle through you at least have a chance of putting something together out of the muck and mire and that might just help you take the next bit of a step.

Copyright 2014 LMC Images
Copyright 2014 LMC Images

And you never know what’s around the corner!

What do you think about Kate’s post? Let me know in the comments below!

Thanks!

And, if you have a friend or loved one who you think might benefit from reading this post, please feel free to pass it along! Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Change: It Hurts

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http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=56656&picture=princess-lying-flat-on-roof

 

In yesterday’s post, we talked about some of the reasons it can be hard to change (click here to be taken to that post). I’ve discovered that change can also be painful.  Not only is it psychologically painful–we “give up” our comfortable routines, habits, and activities–but it can also be physically painful.

We may sleep poorly and wake up stiff and sore. We may feel guilt or shame that may center in our chests.  We may get a headache from staying mindful of our thoughts and actions.

When this happens we need to be alert. This is when we’ll hear that voice inside telling us this is too hard and painful.  It’ll whisper that today’s a bad day, tomorrow will be better.  It’ll try to bribe or seduce us into thinking that if we give ourselves a break now, that we’ll make up for it by working harder tomorrow.  And we’ll want to give in, to do something–anything!–to make the pain go away.

Don’t do it!

That’s why I urged you in yesterday’s post to think about the things you can do to soothe yourself–people who will help you hold steady or activities that can take your mind off the pain while you stay the course. It’s at these times, when the pain is right there and the voice inside is shrieking at you to stop, that you must hang in there.

https://openclipart.org/detail/169719/checklist
https://openclipart.org/detail/169719/checklist

So, once again, I urge you to take out a pen and paper–or whatever means you use to capture your thoughts–and brainstorm things you can do during these crisis moments. They pass, I assure you these moments pass, but make it easier on yourself by having your list handy so you don’t even have to think about who to call or what to do.  Already have your thinking done in the form of this list.

Do it now!

You can, I know you can!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

:Lauren

Change: It’s Hard

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Stormy_sea_at_night.jpg
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Stormy_sea_at_night.jpg

 

We all want to do things differently in our lives. But we aren’t always prepared for how hard it can be to change.  While breaking old habits and forming new ones can be challenging, the worst part is getting used to feeling uncomfortable.

Sometimes we’re surprised by how uncomfortable we are and for how long those uncomfortable feelings last. As a result, we begin to doubt ourselves and wonder if we’re doing something wrong.  We reason that it shouldn’t feel this intensely uncomfortable and that it shouldn’t last for this long.  We then back off on the changes we’re making to give ourselves some relief.  And the next thing we know, we’ve slipped back into old habits and we’re right back where we started.

Change can be deeply uncomfortable and it can stay that way for a long time–for several months and, sometimes, even longer.

You need to know this going in. And prepare for it.  The following are two ways that, in the past, you may have derailed your efforts to change:

~Having no support group. Who will you turn to?

You need to trust this person to tell you to hang in there and stay the course. They need to assure you that what you’re feeling is a normal and natural part of change.  They need to remind you that the more you hang in there and stick with it, the sooner you’ll be through this uncomfortable phase.

~Not having a plan of how to soothe yourself when you’re in the throes of discomfort.

In the past you may have turned to a few drinks (or illegal substances) to take the edge off. You may have resorted to eating junk food or shopping or mindless video games or TV.  This does NOT help.  In fact this makes it MUCH worse.  What are healthier and more helpful things you can do?

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Safe_harbor_sunset_scene.jpg
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Safe_harbor_sunset_scene.jpg

There may be other ways that you’ve thrown yourself off track when trying to change. Anticipate them.  Write them down then brainstorm ways you can handle them.  Keep the list handy so you can refer to it when you’re feeling uncomfortable.

You can do it, I know you can!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

A GREAT Day for a Birthday!

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https://pixabay.com/en/birthday-cake-candles-sweet-669971/

 

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You. — Dr. Seuss

 

Happy Birthday! Even if it isn’t you’re birthday, let’s pretend that it is—yay for birthdays!

Have cake for breakfast, ice cream for lunch, and your absolute favorite meal for dinner. You deserve it because you are awesome!

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=87718&picture=balloon-boy
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=87718&picture=balloon-boy

Happy Birthday!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren