6 Tips to Regain Your Footing After a Betrayal

https://pixabay.com/en/person-woman-model-dangerous-1281651/
https://pixabay.com/en/person-woman-model-dangerous-1281651/

 

 

Yesterday we looked at a few quotes about moving forward. I hope you found a few that resonated with you.

I had gathered those quotes as I was regaining my composure after a betrayal that came out of the blue this past week. Thanks to a very dear friend who stood by me and metaphorically helped me up and brushed me off, I am mostly back on my feet.

If you’re facing something like this, here are a few tips that I’ve found helpful:

 

Tip #1: BE KIND TO YOURSELF!!

Now is NOT the time for the “woulda, shoulda, coulda” thoughts. It isn’t the time to tell yourself that you’re stupid or a jerk. It isn’t the time to play the tape of that teacher/coach/neighbor who told you when you were a kid that you’ll never amount to anything.

Immediately, if not sooner, STOP THAT STINKIN’ THINKIN’ ABOUT YOURSELF!

 

Tip #2: Recognize that your emotions are running wild right now.  

This means that you probably aren’t doing your best, most clear-headed thinking. Slow down. This is not the time to make snap decisions, even if you think you know what to do. Breathe. Put to the side any decision you’re thinking of making until you’ve had a chance to stabilize your emotions.

https://pixabay.com/en/friends-child-girl-teddy-soft-toy-551903/
https://pixabay.com/en/friends-child-girl-teddy-soft-toy-551903/

 

Tip #3: Talk to someone who you trust that can remain calm and clear-headed.

Now is not the time to try to go it alone. You need support–someone who can help you take stock of the situation and of yourself.   You need someone who can be the voice of reason for you who will calm you if you’re angry, remind you of your valuable talents and skills if you’re discouraged, and, if you’re terrified, someone who’ll stand by you and help you select easy, small task to do that will help you move forward and banish your fears.

 

Tip #4: Take care of yourself.

Make sure you are getting seven or eight hours of sleep each night. Be sure that you’re eating and that the food you’re having is fresh and nutritious. Gently exercise periodically–going for a walk in nature is perfect. Don’t isolate yourself! Connect with friends and family regularly.

 

Tip #5: Get busy!

Of course you’ll need to process your emotions, which may mean that you’ll need some alone time or time to gather yourself and catch your breath, especially if the event was particularly shocking. As you’re gathering yourself, you may not be able to tackle any tasks related to what has upset you, however, get busy with something!

 

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:ObereM%C3%BChleAmbiente.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:ObereM%C3%BChleAmbiente.jpg

I’ve found that mindless work is the best–nothing that requires decision-making of any kind.   Even the simplest decisions may be too overwhelming right now. Simple tasks like doing laundry, washing windows, mowing the lawn, gardening, or making easy crafts can help you stabilize.

It’s been my experience that tasks like these help me feel that I’m doing something, that I’m not wasting my time. It also gives me a sense of accomplishment, for instance when I see the origami stars I’ve made or the laundry is clean, folded, and put away. I can then use the little bit of the momentum I’ve generated to take a teensy step toward my dreams.

 

Tip #6: Go easy on yourself.

You need time to regain your footing so lay off yourself with timetables and deadlines of when you’ll be back on track. When you’re dealing with betrayals and other shocking events, you need space to come to grips with what’s happened and figure out what’s best for you.

 

I hope these tips help you.   Are there others that you find helpful?   Let me know in the comments below.   Thanks!

You’re welcome to pass this post along to a friend. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

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