Today’s the perfect day to do a little something in service to another. Also, pause a moment to think of little things you can do each day this week to be of service to others.
We find our own lives by losing them in the service to others. It is the generous giving or losing of your life that saves it. ~Ralph Waldo Trine
Always render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be. ~Og Mandino
The more of our lives we give to others, the fuller and the richer, the greater and the grander, the more beautiful and the more happy our own lives become. ~Ralph Waldo Trine
Service is the rent that you pay for room on this earth. ~Shirley Chisholm
We shall see that our love, our service, our helpfulness to others, invariably comes back to us, intensified sometimes a hundred or a thousand or a thousand-thousand fold. ~Ralph Waldo Trine
Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy. ~Mahatma Gandhi
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Which of these quotes did you like the best? Share in the comments section below. Thanks!
This was supposed to have posted yesterday…not sure why it didn’t. Sorry for the delay!
I will not let anyone with dirty feet walk through my mind. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Toxic people are hurtful. Even if their venom isn’t aimed at us but rather is in the form of always complaining, always seeing the negative side, and always focusing on the bad “stuff” in life; it still harms us.
The good news is that these people are generally easy to spot. They’re the ones that don’t have much of a sense of humor; usually they’re the people with the dour look on their faces and are unpleasant to be around. Even though we may not be able to eliminate them from our lives (they may be a family member, part of our team at work, or a member of the same club or organization we belong to), it isn’t too hard for us to move them to the periphery.
But what about those people who are toxic to us but in a very subtle way–you know, frenemies?
These are people who seem pleasant and welcoming on the surface but that’s where their friendliness ends. This is definitely a case of a metaphor being true-to-life: These people are icebergs. Their type of “friendship”–if you even call it that–is cold-hearted and just below the surface lurk deadly, razor-sharp edges that will rip you to shreds.
I’ve found that these people are the toughest to deal with. They are masters of subtlety and oftentimes others in the group don’t notice what’s going on, especially since your frenemy is usually a loyal friend to the others.
When this has happened to me in the past, I’ve made excuses for their treatment of me or–worse–thought maybe I was being to sensitive or reading into the situation things that just weren’t there. And I’ve justified staying in the group because the others were nice and I enjoyed their friendship.
It can take a while for it to sink in that the one friend is actually a lethal frenemy. Once you recognize this, thought, then leave as fast as you can.
I’ve found that I’ve had to leave the whole group of friends, even though a few were very nice people with whom I had wanted to stay in touch (I had tried to remain in touch but I couldn’t because they kept including my frenemy).
The realization that made me finally take a stand and move the whole group–frenemy as well as the nice people–out of my life was when I realized that the frenemy could indulge in her behavior because no one in the group called her on it.
The tipping point for me came when my frenemy made a callous, untrue comment about me when we were all at lunch together. One of the others spoke to me privately and told me she was mortified that my frenemy had been so heartless. This wasn’t the first time that she and a few of the others had privately said that my frenemy’s comments to me were uncalled for.
But later on when I thought about it, I clearly understood that as long as my frenemy would go unchallenged, she would be as disrespectful of me as she pleased. Because of the dynamics of the group, my choices were to put up with my frenemy or leave the group entirely.
In that moment I knew I deserved better.
I want people who won’t remain quiet when somebody is talking about a friend.
The others in the group weren’t willing, even in a gentle or friendly way, to call my frenemy on her behavior, then they were just as guilty of tromping through my mind with dirty feet as my frenemy was.
I’m no longer willing to let that happen so I’ve left the group.
Naturally I sometimes miss my nice friends and when I see on Facebook an activity they’ve done together I feel the pang of missing out. But I also remember the painful price I had to pay to “belong”.
I’ve discovered that because I am no longer spending time with this group, I now have time to spend with people who are true friends to me.
And that’s a very nice payoff!
Have you had similar experiences with frenemies? What did you do about them? Let me know in the comments below!
Problems grow out of your hesitancy–or out-right refusal–to make The Tough Decision. ~Dr. Robert Schuller
It’s hard to make tough decisions. The reason why it’s so tough and why it’s so hard is because it’s requiring you to step out of your comfort zone.
Maybe you need to step out in order to get specialized training. Perhaps you need to gather additional information and that requires talking to the type of people you’ve never interacted with before. Or maybe it’s all new and just the thought of it pushes you way outside your comfort zone.
Break it down into teeny bite-sized pieces. Perhaps you can look at a website or make a phone call or get a relevant book out of the library. Those are all doable.
But if those steps are too much, you can break them down into smaller chunks. For instance, perhaps you can’t work up the nerve to actually make the phone call and talk to someone, but you can at least look up the phone number. Then after a little while, perhaps you can hold the phone in your hand as you look at the phone number.
By continually taking little steps like this you’ll gradually chip away at the tough decision. Soon it’ll be a thing of the past!
This is important because too often we bang our heads against the wall continually trying to achieve results but always coming up short. We need to stop and take a look at the situation and admit that our way of doing it probably isn’t right. We need to admit that maybe there’s a much more effective way of doing things. Yes, we may have failed with these attempts to achieve our dreams, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up our dreams. It just means that the way we’ve been doing things is not right for this dream at this time and in this place. Admit it isn’t working so step out of “the box” and out of our comfort zones and try something radically different.
Take Full Responsibility
This one is a tough one. Our natural inclination is to look outside ourselves for the reason things aren’t working. It’s a way of soothing the disappointment, worry, and anger we may be feeling. It might be true that others didn’t hold up their end of the bargain and it may be true that events beyond our control created a bad situation. But we can’t focus on that. As Michael Hyatt points out, we don’t have control over others and we certainly can’t control events and situations. The only thing we can control is ourselves, particularly how we think and the actions we take as a result of that thinking.
Mourn the Failure
To me, this is probably the most important aspect of processing problems and failures. Speaking for myself, I don’t always take the time to grieve about things not going the way I’d planned and things not at all working out even remotely close to the way I’d hoped. Without wallowing and getting stuck, we need to allow ourselves to think and feel our way through it.
Learn from the Experience
I love Michael Hyatt’s take on this where he urges us to, instead of thinking about what went wrong which can lead down the path of blame, think about the problem and failure as what was missing. As Michael points out, thinking in terms of what was missing helps us look at our part in it–what we have control over–and starts us thinking about how we can improve next time around.
Change Your Behavior
After processing problems and failures using this positive and constructive method, it becomes clearer how we can improve, including what we need to let go of and move on from.
Enter Wholeheartedly into the Next Project
Following these steps will naturally cause our enthusiasm and energy to return. As we’re processing, grieving, and evaluating ourselves and the situation, we’ll naturally have new ideas and new inspirations. Sometimes they’ll be things we’ve never thought of before–and that’s a very good thing! Before we know it, our energy and enthusiasm will return.
The important thing is to allow yourself time to process and evaluate and feel. As Michael Hyatt shares about his experience, it can take weeks–sometimes longer–and it can’t be rushed.
You aren’t wasting time or losing ground by pausing to do these steps. In the long run, you’ll come out much stronger because of a deeper understanding and appreciation of yourself.
Every day we all have problems. Usually they are minor annoyances that we quickly forget about. Some, however, are tougher and can turn into rough patches. Below are a few quotes I found that might help you think of problems in a new way.
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. ~Abraham Maslow
This quote reminds me to step outside my habitual way of responding to unexpected things that happen. It reminds me to pause, take a breathe, and keep my emotions at arms length as I evaluate what’s happened.
Stop looking for solutions to problems and start looking for the right path. — Andy Stanley
To me, this quote is advising us to stop looking at the door that’s closed, barred, and locked and instead start looking for the window that’s open.
Our major obligation is not to mistake slogans for solutions. — Edward R. Murrow
Sayings and slogans shouldn’t be used to distract ourselves or anesthetize us or make us feel that the problem will go away or be taken care of all on it’s own. Sayings and slogans can help us calm ourselves, give us hope in better days ahead, and to help us get our feet back underneath us so that we can take action and get through the rough patch.
I hope these quotes, and my explanations of why I shared them with you, have helped you. Which ones did you like? Feel free to share in the comments below!
Keep these quotes handy–especially the ones that have resonated with you–and refer to them often when you need a boost.