I don’t know about you but sometimes I fight tooth and nail to hang onto something that’s leaving–or has already left–my life. Sure, I’ve heard the quotes about how each ending is really a new beginning and that no matter our success and achievement in the past, our best days are ahead of us.
But our thoughts go into overdrive:
What if our best days are behind us?
What if this new beginning is worse than where we had been?
Even though the people here maybe jerks, what if they’re worse at the new job or in the new neighborhood?
What if there isn’t enough money to pay all the bills?
What if we don’t like anyone in the new place and no one likes us?
Instead of giving in to these worries and fears, think about times in the past when you’ve left situations, even if you did so unwillingly. You’ll probably find that what got you through it was finding the benefits, the good stuff, in the new situation and focusing on this rather than glorifying the old situation and thinking it wasn’t so bad and you probably should have stuck it out after all.
Whether you’re the one choosing the leaving or if the decision was thrust upon you, give yourself the gift of honoring. What I mean by this is giving yourself understanding and compassion. Accept that this is a difficult time–even if you’re very excited about your future, there may still be some bittersweet feelings about moving on. Honor the old by recognizing that in its own way, it helped you–there were good things about it. But now, you’ve outgrown it.
Then, take the time to note the benefits of your new situation, even if you don’t want to be in it: What opportunities for personal and/or professional growth and development will you have in the new situation that you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed in the old? For instance, if you’re moving from the country to the city, the rush and noise may be overwhelming and scary, however, the variety of cultural activities, the exposure to different ways of thinking and living are all benefits for expanding yourself that you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed in the country.
Find little things to be excited about regarding this phase of leaving.
And, remember that leaving is a phase and that it, too, shall pass.
Feel free to share your thoughts as well as the tips, tricks, and techniques you use to make leaving easier on yourself. Thanks!
Your Friend and Pep Pal,