Have you ever suffered a frenemy attack? Perhaps a colleague at work–someone you’d worked well with previously–throws you under the bus; now it’s you the boss is unfairly zeroing in on. Maybe, in confidence, you told a friend something very personal only to find when the whole group gets together that everyone knows….
After you recover from the shock and embarrassment, what do you say to yourself?
I’m sure you have thoughts of anger and you may even think about revenge how you’ll avenge yourself.. You may feel fear or worried because this may negatively impact your career. You may be sad and disappointed that someone you thought was a friend turned around and betrayed you.
These thoughts and feeling can lead to you telling yourself lies such as:
Maybe I am less talented;
Maybe I don’t have what it takes to be team leader;
Maybe I’ve been deluding myself all along and maybe I truly am an idiot…
NONE OF THESE THOUGHTS ARE TRUE!! THEY’RE ALL LIES!!!
Here are a few things to tell yourself instead:
This says more about them than it does about me;
This will show me who my true friends and allies are;
I am talented, I am intelligent, I do have a lot on the ball;
I am a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars. I have a right to be here. (from the Desiderata by Max Ehrmann)
Choose on of these thoughts to keep handy–or one that you’ve thought of for yourself. When a frenemy attacks, repeat to yourself the positive statements about yourself.
You can do it!
Your Friend and Pep Pal,