Category Archives: Bravery

Noblesse Oblige: What to Do if You’re Feeling Bad About Yourself – 6 Steps to Take

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:%D0%9D%D1%96%D0%B6%D0%BD%D0%B8%D0%B9_%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B9_%D1%81%D0%B2%D1%96%D1%82%D0%BB%D0%BE.jpg

 

 

When you’re feeling bad about yourself and can’t seem to shake it, here’s what to do:

1. Ditch the negative people around you as fast as you can! The reason you can’t shake feeling bad about yourself and your life is probably because you’re hanging around people who don’t value you, appreciate you, and/or celebrate you. They’re also the people who see nothing but woe and disaster ahead of you, which is most definitely NOT what you need right now.

What do you do? DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM THEM AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!

Call up a few of your friends who make you feel great about yourself and always have something nice to say to you. Be up front with them and tell them you’ve had a hard day and you need them to remind you of a few good things about yourself. Jot them down and keep them handy in a scrapbook or in a folder on your mobile device or computer.

2. You’ve forgotten or lost–or never had it in the first place!!–a vision of the fabulous future that awaits you.

What do you do? REMEMBER THE DELICIOUS FUTURE THAT’S WAITING FOR YOU!

Get out your vision board, your mission statement, your Scrapbook of Optimism and remind yourself that the rough patch you’re in right now is NOT permanent–it, too, will pass. Remind yourself that better days are ahead. Remind yourself that, no matter how wonderful your life may have been in the past, your best days are still yet to come–they’re still ahead of you!

And, if you don’t have an exciting future imagined for yourself, then immediately and right now and at this very instant start dreaming! Write it all down, make a collage, choose some sort of item or symbol that reminds you of your dreams and keep that symbol where you can see it every single day.

3. Get the icky feelings and emotions out of your system!  Best advice from a dear friend: vent, steam, rant, rave, cry, gnash your teeth, shake your fist, scream if you have to and then take the next step forward.

What do you do? DON’T WALLOW; KEEP PRESSING ONWARD!

4. Pressing forward looks like this: networking to find a new job, bartering with friends and loved ones to get the help you need to clear out the clutter in your home, taking classes online to improve your knowledge and skills…. Put on your Thinking Cap and come up with the things YOU can do that will help YOU.

What do you do when you’ve done all you can? LET GO AND TRUST THAT THE GOOD WORKS YOU JUST DID ARE GOING FORTH AND BRINGING GOOD STUFF BACK TO YOU

5. Make your waiting time productive by pursuing things that interest you, that make you feel good, that bring you peace and contentment. I’m not talking about hedonistic pursuits, I’m talking about the soul-prospering pursuits.

What do you do next? GET BUSY!!

Some soul-prospering pursuits are: spending time with your hobbies, enjoying the people you love and who make you feel loved and cared for, following the thread of a new idea or activity that has captured your interest, taking a class in a topic that, for you, is “off the wall”, volunteering your time and helping others…. I’m sure you can come up with your own ideas to follow through on.

6. What do you do after all this? REPEAT THESE STEPS AS OFTEN AS NEEDED.

 

Let me know how these simple steps work out for you. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Lauren

Who Are You? Build Your Vision

https://pixabay.com/en/energy-of-technology-consumption-1326274/

 

I was helping a friend do a little spring–um, summer!–cleaning and clearing of her home. She’s had a few tough knocks from Life in the recent years and she wants a new, fresh start. She thought clearing out the old from her home and repainting would help her press the reset button. She asked me to help her and I was glad to pitch in.

The problem was that it was slow going with throwing out things or putting them in a box for the local thrift shop. My friend kept getting bogged down with reminiscing and sentimental feelings evoked by some objects. A few years ago she lost her loved ones and, as you’d expect, her home had pictures of them, letters from them, as well as gifts they’d given her. I’ve had enough experience with my own grief and mourning that I knew she still needed time before she’d be able to clearly decide on this memorabilia.

But, I knew she was getting bogged down in the past–a past she could never return to or change. I had to do something to gently help her. She’s artistic and we started talking about how pleased her loved ones would be to see her growth and development. We talked about projects she has planned and the pieces she’s working on now. Talking about the here and now as well as her future helped her get going again. She told me later that our talk helped her see that moving forward did not mean that she had to leave her loved ones behind; she still could have a connection to them, even though it’s much different than the relationship she had when they were here on Earth.

This underscored to be how important it is to have some sort of vision for our future–even if that future is only a day or an hour from now. It helps us break free from the past as well as move through the rough patches that we come across from time-to-time.

Take time today or this evening to develop a vision for yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect because you’ll probably tweak it with nearly every step you take. And, if the thought of creating a vision seems too much, then think of it as having an idea of the wonderful future that awaits you.

You CAN do it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Your Environment: Vision of the Future–The Next Best Step

Copyright 2015 Artisans Workshop Designs

 

…You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step in faith. ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Yesterday we talked about building a strong, vibrant, compelling vision for your future. Sometimes we get stuck on this because we think this means we must figure out exactly where we’ll be in the next five or ten years.

That’s hard, especially when you’re first starting out and don’t really know what you want and, therefore, where you’re going!

This can cause us to stop, fret, becoming overwhelmed and discouraged. We decide it’s too much: too big, too hard, too unknown…. So, we throw in the towel even before we start.

No worries!

As Dr. Martin Luther King’s quote points out, we don’t have to see the whole staircase; we just need to take the next best step. This is the same as the analogy of driving our car home at night. We don’t see the whole route, all we see is 50 or 100 feet of the road ahead that’s illuminated by the car’s headlights. We keep traveling this way and, before we know it, we arrive safely home, even in the darkest of nights.

Build your strong, vibrant, compelling vision of the future that’s just a few days or weeks ahead. As you get better and more confident in what you do want, you can then add to the vision, increasing it by a year or more–what ever is comfortable for you.

You CAN do it! I believe in you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Lauren

Your Environment: Vision of the Future

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Haliaeetus_leucocephalus_in_flight_over_KSC.jpg

 

It’s critical to have a compelling vision of the future toward which you are moving.

I know in yesterday’s post we talked about the power and the gift of knowing what you don’t want and how to move toward what you do want.

It’s vital that we all do this work in earnest–keeping at it so that we can develop a strong and compelling vision for our future. This is how we’ll step into the soul-prospering life of our dreams.

I am convinced that people can’t let go of the past–and can’t let go of possessions and thought patterns that no longer serve them–because they don’t have anything that they feel is worthwhile that’s waiting for them ahead on their path.

I’m also convinced that this is why people give up and throw in the towel when the going gets tough; they don’t have an important enough reason to keep going, no matter what.

I’m absolutely sure that people don’t begin in the first place because their vision of the thing they say they want, isn’t compelling enough. Isn’t clear and enticing enough where they’ll walk on hot coals, swim oceans, and climb the most forbidding mountains in order to achieve it.

So as you move away from what you don’t want and while you’re playing and trying all sorts of things you enjoy–both old favorites and brand new things–keep building your vision of the future. Add to it bit by bit, step by step. Feel free to let go of things you thought you’d like and replace them with the things you’ve discovered that are more delightful and compelling.

You can do it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Other People: How to “Get Over It”

Copyright 2014 Artisans Workshop Designs

 

Wouldst make thy life go fair and square?
Thou must not for the past feel care;
Whatever thy loss, thou must not mourn;
Must ever act as if new-born.
What each day wants of thee, that ask;
What each day tells thee, that make thy task;
With pride thine own performance viewing,
With heart to admire another’s doing;
Above all, hate no human being,
And all the future leave to the All-Seeing.

Goethe.

 

 

We know we need to let go, to forgive; most of all we know we need to move on.

But how?

How do we do that when the injustice, the hurt, the humiliation, the pain, the loss is still so fresh and sharp, even though the original incident happened years ago?

The best, most effective way is to stop looking at the past and the thing that happened. Instead, look to the future.

But what if we can’t tear your focus away from the past; what if the future has no joy or hope?

The solution is to build a better image of the future, something we can look forward to. If we can’t do this then that means we’ve built up a much stronger, more compelling image of the past than we have of the future.

Focus on you. Focus on where you are headed. Focus on your dreams. If this is too much and you can’t do it, then focus on the next best step you can take in the next moment, the next hour, the next part of the day. Keep focusing on this–taking the next best step. Focus on it minute by minute.

Be relentless about this focus and you will find one day that you have dropped the heavy baggage from the past–the injustices and insults, the hurts and humiliations, the pain and pessimism.

Give it a try and let me know how it’s working out for you. You can do it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Other People: The Ones Who Have Hurt You and How to Deal With It

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=9652&picture=crying

 

We’ve all been hurt and angered by others. Usually we can shrug it off, but there are certain people or particular experiences that continue to impact us, even though the people may no longer be in our lives or that the experiences happened years–decades–ago.

Many times from numerous sources I’ve heard that forgiveness is NOT AT ALL about the other person but rather it’s all about me, my life, and staying on track with who I am and what my purpose in life is. But when the rubber meets the road, it’s really hard to put this into practice.

After years of working on this, here’s how I think about forgiveness, which makes it easier for me to put it into practice:

To me, the essential thing to keep in mind is to constantly be asking myself (being mindful of the question) “What kind of person do I want to be?”

Whether it was intentional or not on my part, do I want to be the person who doesn’t apologize, who doesn’t really care, that someone may have been hurt by what I said or did–or what I didn’t say or do? Do I want the other person to be sad or feel bad about themselves or be in emotional or mental or spiritual or physical pain because of me?

The answer is, no I don’t want to be that person.

So, whether or not I think they’re justified or being reasonable, if it is going to help them to hear me say that I’m sorry, then I want to do that.

It’s deeper than how my little piece may have impacted them. It’s probably that my piece is a small, small part of the huge iceberg they’re dealing with. I don’t know–and none of us can ever really know or understand–the internal struggles people are grappling with from day-to-day and even moment-to-moment. Just because I can’t see it when I look at them and their life, it doesn’t mean they have no struggles or battles. They–like all of us–are probably in the thick of an all-out war within–a war that they may feel they’re losing.

And this thinking goes hand-in-hand with forgiveness. Again, it isn’t about them, per say, but rather about what I need to have/be/do to be the kind of person I admire and want to become.

Do I want to be the person who holds onto memories, grudges, hurts, pains, disappointments from what people have/haven’t done to me in the past? Do I want to become embittered, sour, vengeful, grumpy, angry, and old before my time? Do I want to have a life that’s less than the one I’ve dreamed of?

The answer is, no I don’t want to be that person or to have my life so deeply affected.

So, whether the other person(s) deserve it or not, I am going to let it go. At some point in their life they may have a “Eureka!” moment and I want to have created enough elbow room through my letting go that they can fully embrace and step into their moment of profound change.

I am going to give them the benefit of the doubt and presume that they are a good person and, if they weren’t so overwhelmed with their own cares and burdens, they would never ever ever have done or said those things that negatively impacted me.

I’m going to jettison the “stuff” that does not serve me–that does not make me feel excited and enthusiastic, feel capable and competent; that does not help me open my heart and soul to the fullness of Life.

Is this easy to do? No, of course not.

More frequently than I care to admit, I find my mind wandering back to the past and I have to take it in hand and refocus on the present, as well as the future I’m headed toward. I, too, have to remind myself of the person I want to be, and remind myself that it means letting go. And sometimes I have to pry my fingers off of the thing I’m grasping so tightly!

I can report that, like with anything, with practice it gets easier. I find the lag time is getting shorter between getting my feelings bruised, letting go, and then feeling better.

Practices that move us closer to living a soul-prospering life are a good thing!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Lauren

 

Other People: Stay or Go?

 

 

I was looking around Youtube and came across this video about how to know when to quit being around a person, not only personally but professionally as well. The video had some interesting ideas and I thought you might find it helpful.

 

 

Let me know what you think about the video. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren