Category Archives: Change

Leaving: A Good Old-Fashioned Talking-To

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Yesterday, we talked about how turning your back and walking away is the second part of making your break from the thing or person or memory and making a fresh start.

It’s one thing to release and let go, but it’s a whole different matter to actually make a break. You might find yourself backsliding every now and again, perhaps telling yourself it wasn’t so bad and maybe you were a little hasty in turning away…. And then one day you find that once again you’ve got to go through releasing, letting go, and leaving.

How did this happen? You were doing so well for a while.

It happened because you let your thoughts have free rein and then you listened to them.

You’re probably thinking that all you have to do then is to control your thoughts. It’s true. It really is that simple. However, it isn’t always easy.

There are techniques and tricks for getting hold of your thoughts: mindfulness, breathing techniques, meditation, and a host of other things that you can do. I encourage you to do a little research and come up with a list of actions you can take to get control of your thoughts.

Oftentimes, though, it comes down to the fact that you just have to take yourself and your thoughts in hand. Dispense with the tricks, the techniques, the cajoling, and the bribes. Sometimes you have to give yourself a good old-fashioned talking to and tell yourself to grow up. Remind yourself that you know very well that going down a new path is the best thing you can do for yourself. Tell yourself: “So then, let’s behave like an adult and let’s get on with doing what needs to be done.”

Then do it and be done with it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

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Leaving: How?!

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I don’t know about you but sometimes I fight tooth and nail to hang onto something that’s leaving–or has already left–my life. Sure, I’ve heard the quotes about how each ending is really a new beginning and that no matter our success and achievement in the past, our best days are ahead of us.

 

But our thoughts go into overdrive:

What if our best days are behind us?

What if this new beginning is worse than where we had been?

Even though the people here maybe jerks, what if they’re worse at the new job or in the new neighborhood?

What if there isn’t enough money to pay all the bills?

What if we don’t like anyone in the new place and no one likes us?

 

Instead of giving in to these worries and fears, think about times in the past when you’ve left situations, even if you did so unwillingly. You’ll probably find that what got you through it was finding the benefits, the good stuff, in the new situation and focusing on this rather than glorifying the old situation and thinking it wasn’t so bad and you probably should have stuck it out after all.

Whether you’re the one choosing the leaving or if the decision was thrust upon you, give yourself the gift of honoring. What I mean by this is giving yourself understanding and compassion. Accept that this is a difficult time–even if you’re very excited about your future, there may still be some bittersweet feelings about moving on. Honor the old by recognizing that in its own way, it helped you–there were good things about it. But now, you’ve outgrown it.

Then, take the time to note the benefits of your new situation, even if you don’t want to be in it: What opportunities for personal and/or professional growth and development will you have in the new situation that you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed in the old? For instance, if you’re moving from the country to the city, the rush and noise may be overwhelming and scary, however, the variety of cultural activities, the exposure to different ways of thinking and living are all benefits for expanding yourself that you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed in the country.

Find little things to be excited about regarding this phase of leaving.

And, remember that leaving is a phase and that it, too, shall pass.

Feel free to share your thoughts as well as the tips, tricks, and techniques you use to make leaving easier on yourself. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Leaving: 9 Thought-Provoking Quotes

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Whether we like it or not–or realize it–we’re constantly leaving. For instance, here in the US, this coming weekend we’ll be turning the clocks back an hour, signaling that we’re leaving Daylight Savings Time.

There are big leavings–significant leavings–such as leaving high school to go off to college, as a young adult leaving home to start a life of your own, and leaving your single status to become married.

Every day, though, is filled with leavings and, because they’re so small and we don’t fully appreciate them, these leavings slip by unnoticed. For instance, we leave each moment as it passes into the next. We presume that there will be a next moment and it’s sobering to remember that for a number of us, this is not always so….

With the topic Leaving in mind, here are a few quotes that will help us think about what leaving means to each of us and how it continues to impact our life.

If you are brave enough to say goodbye, then Life will reward you with a new hello. ~Paul Coelho

There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit’. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over–and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying it’s validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry; that we are moving up rather than out. ~Ellen Goodman

When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits–anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving. ~Kim McMillen

Try to learn to breathe deeply; really to tase food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough. ~Ernest Hemingway

Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future. ~Daphne Rose Kingma

When we…go back into the past and rake up all the troubles we’ve had, we end up reeling and staggering through life. Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment. ~Pam Vredevelt

Just remember–when you think all is lost, the future remains.   ~Bob Goddard

People always find it easier to be a result of the past rather than a cause of the future. ~Unknown

Happy trails to you,
Until we meet again.
Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It’s the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here’s a happy one for you.
~Dale Evans

 

Stay tuned as we discuss the topic of leaving this week. As always, feel free to share your thoughts. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Lauren

Pilgrimage: How to Do This in Every Day Life

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All week we’ve been talking about pilgrimages.  What if you aren’t able to make any kind of pilgrimage?  Perhaps finances are a concern, or maybe your family responsibilities or work obligations prevent you from traveling anywhere.

No worries!  You can always incorporate a pilgrimage into your everyday life!

It sounds weird to go to the grocery store or the cleaners or picking up a few items at the hardware store as a pilgrimage, but it can be done.

It might be better, though, to visit a place in town that’s special to you in some way.  For instance, you might hang out at the library or go to a park in town that you don’t normally visit.  You might find it very interesting to visit different places of worship not only during services (check first to make sure it’s okay for visitors to attend), but also when there are no services going on (check to make sure there are hours when the house of worship is unlocked and open to visitors).

Going to a store that specializes in supplies for a hobby that you enjoy could be a special treat.  For instance, I have a good friend who loves knitting and it’s great fun for her when she visits yarn stores—she treats them as pilgrimages.

Once you’ve decided the pilgrimage you’re going to make in town, here are a few things you can do:

Create a Clear Intent – ask yourself:
~Why is this important to you?
~What do you hope to gain, to learn–how do you hope this changes you?
~What do you want to let go of, release?

Attention and listening:
~What are you noticing through your senses—the colors, textures, scents, sounds, etc.

~What’s the same as you’ve experienced in your everyday life; what’s different?

Allow meandering:
~explore!

Reflect:
~How will this help you?
~How will this move you into a soul-prospering life?

Gratitude:
~Even if it seems like you haven’t experienced anything new, be grateful for the experience anyway.  You’ll probably find that in the coming days and weeks, something will connect with your pilgrimage experience.

Leave an offering:

~Is there something you can offer/give as a thank you for the pilgrimage?

 

Give this a try and please share your experiences in the comments below.  Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Spirituality: Routine

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All the things that don’t serve you are holding you back. They’re keeping you feeling helpless and hopeless; they’re pushing you down. Get rid of this toxicity, these contaminants.

A big part of crafting a soul prospering life is releasing and letting go, as well as forgiving and becoming at peace with, whatever went before and whatever is in the moment now.

There are many, many methods to do this such as silence, meditation/prayer, contemplation, movement, journaling, and the like. The experiences of the people I’ve talked to about this confirmed my own practice of releasing and letting a routine part of my day. The easiest time to incorporate this is first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

My current routine is, each morning when I first wake and each evening before I fall asleep I say:

I release and let go of all that no longer serves me: the people, the places the things, the situations, the circumstances, the events, including the emotions, the feelings, the thoughts, and the memories. I release and let go of all the pain, the sorrow, the sadness, the frustration, the worry, and all other emotions that no longer serve me. I am sorry; please forgive me; thank you; I love you. 

I accept and receive all goodness, blessings, favor, prosperity, abundance, health, well-being, love, kindness, magic, miracles; all that is rightfully mine. I accept and receive all the emotions, feelings, thoughts, memories, and all other emotions and feelings that support, nurture, encourage, and celebrate me. I am sorry; please forgive me; thank you; I love you.

 

Then I deliberately create the feeling of the good feelings within me and I’m mindful about what they feel like and where I feel them in my body. I allow these good feelings and emotions to infuse. Then, if it’s the morning, I begin my day and, if it’s the evening, I nestle snug in my bed and go to sleep.

Please note that I don’t hold rigidly to the wording. Sometimes I mention a particular thing or person or event that’s a sticking point at that moment. In that case I will hold an image of it in mind and say several times the Ho’oponopono practice of “I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you”.

What’s your morning and evening routine? If you don’t have one, feel free to try out mine and let me know what you think. I don’t mind at all if you tweak it to suit you. Let me know what you do!

Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

 

 

Affrimations: 6 Templates for Your Own Inspiring Affirmations

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We’ve been talking about affirmations all week. Today’s a chance to craft your own to power you to your soul-prospering life.

Here are some examples to get your creativity flowing for your own custom affirmations:

(Insert your name), you can do this because you have what it takes. (Insert your name), you are intelligent, you are gifted, you have skills and experience, and you have wisdom. You can do it!

 (Insert your name), you are a fully loaded and fully packed from your toes all the way up to the tippy-top of your head with all you need to achieve your dreams and to live your soul prospering life.

 (Insert your name), you are enough just the way you are right here and right now.

 (Insert your name), you are in the right place in the right time doing the right things in the right way.

 (Insert your name), let’s do it this! Together we can do it! Let’s go!

 (Insert your name), you have the heart in the soul of a champion. (Insert your name), you are a victor.  I believe in you!

 

Let me know the affirmations you craft for yourself. Thanks!

You can do it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Affirmations: A Brand New Technique (That’s Actually Been Around ForEVER!)

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I just heard something really cool about affirmations and I knew you’d be blown away by, too.

I just heard an interview by Brendon Burchard, a popular high performance coach, who talked about some of the research he’s concluded on peak achievement. In a small section of the interview he talked about the surprising things he and his research team discovered about affirmations.

We’ve all heard that affirmations need to be in the present tense, need to be positive, and need to be “I” statements. You and I debunked a little of this when we talked before about how negative affirmations can be just as powerful as positive ones, such as Scarlet O’Hara’s statement at the end of Gone with the Wind, “…I’ll never be hungry again!”

In speaking to thousands of high performing international business people and world-class athletes from around the world, Brendon Burchard’s research has debunked another “truth” about affirmations: they must be “I” statements. He and his team concluded that affirmations are more powerful when they are stated in the second or third person, instead of the first person.

For instance, here is a positive statement in the first person: “I am so lucky to be doing work I love. I am honored to be helping others. I feel great when I have a positive impact on others, helping them improve their lives.”

Here is that same statement in the second person: “Brendon, you are so lucky to be doing the work you love. You are so honored to be helping others. You feel great when you have a positive impact on others, helping them improve their lives.”

Here’s the same statement in third person: “Brendon is so luck to be doing work he loves. Brendon is honored to be helping others. He feels great when he has a positive impact on others, helping them improve their lives.”

Which new technique feels more comfortable for you, statements in the second person or in the third person? I think I prefer second person.

I’m going to give this a try and I’ll let you know how it goes. Join me and let me know how it goes for you! Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Lauren