Category Archives: Change

Never Give Up

“Never give up.  Never ever give up.”    ~Paraphrase of a quote of Winston Churchill’s *

It can be very hard working toward your dreams and goals.  It can be incredibly discouraging and disappointing.  It can be painful. 

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE UP.  When you quit, when you throw in the towel, when you give up then it’s all over and there is no hope and no way those goals and dreams will ever come into your life.

You deserve to achieve your goals and dreams.  You wouldn’t have them if they were not meant for you.  They have your name all over them.  They are yours!  Go get ’em!

YOU MUST HANG IN THERE.   Put your shoulder to that obstacle and push.  Even if you have only a little tiny drop of strength, give it your all.

Dig deep.  You have strength, you have might, you have a titanium core within you.  Life may have knocked you around so much that you think you’re weak and wimpy.  I am here to tell you that you are a mighty warrior.  You are a victor and a champion.  You are way more powerful than anything Life can throw at you.  You CAN do it!

So, take a breath and move forward.  You can do it, I know you can.  I am sure of it!

Your homework for today is to take a look at the steps on the pathway to your goals and dreams.  In spite of Life and your Inner Critic telling you it’s impossible and you’re so dumb for thinking you can do it, in spite of that, choose a step, a tiny one that you are positive you can do and then do it.  Do it with all the might and glory that you have within you.  Because you do have it, it is there waiting for you to tap into it.  Go for it!  You can do it, I am so very sure of that!

Go for it!  You can do it!  Yay for you!

I am so very proud of you for not giving up.  You are my hero!!  You rock!  I knew for certain that you could do it!!

Your Friend,


* The speech was made  October 29, 1941 to the boys at Harrow School. ” Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” The full speech is contained in “The Unrelenting Struggle” (London:Cassell and Boston:Little Brown 1942, and is found on pages 274-76 of the English edition). It may also be found in “The Complete Speeches of Winston S. Churchill,” edited by Robert Rhodes James (NY:Bowker and London:Chelsea House 1974).


Go Stuff It!

There is an important thing to do before taking the first step.  If you’ve started without doing this, no worries!  You can do it now–or when it becomes necessary.

Get some cotton (imaginary cotton is just fine) and then:

Stuff your ears with it so that you can’t hear what other people say about you and your dreams and goals.

Most people are trying to be helpful and show their support for you, but sometimes it comes out wrong.  They don’t intend to be hurtful or insulting but, without meaning to, their suggestions come across that way.

Some people in your life are naturally negative, even when they’re trying to be positive!  No matter how perfect the thing, they’ll naturally find the flaw or the problem.  And no matter how happy the occasion, they’ll find something that isn’t quite right.  And no matter how well you’ve done something, they’ll find a reason why it isn’t good enough.

Then there are those few people who don’t like you and who don’t wish the best for you.  They may even be openly hostile and venomous toward you.

The best way to deal with them is to not listen to what they say:  plug your ears with cotton!  As much as you can, avoid the negative and the venomous ones all together.  If you have no choice, though, limit the time your time with them as much as possible.

Don’t try to justify yourself and what you’re doing, don’t try to explain yourself, and– above all–don’t try to prove them wrong.  None of this will change their minds about you and what you’re doing.  If you engage them in any way, chances are the whole situation will devolve into a complete mess.  None of this will make you happy and it certainly won’t take you any closer to your dreams or goals

Engaging them isn’t worth it.

You have better things to do with your time.  You can’t afford to indulge in having bad feelings and negative thoughts.  Your goals and your dreams are too important, too valuable, to allow yourself to be derailed.

But, man oh man does that person–or those people–get under your skin!

What do you do about this?  How do you get back on an even keel?

The very best thing you can do is to take the next step!  You may be agitated and as a result only able to handle a little piece of a step; that’s okay.  Do something–anything, no matter how small–that will move you forward.

You may be so agitated, though, that you can’t move forward, even the tiniest bit.  In that case, do some self-soothing things such as talking to a person who believes in you, who always makes you feel good about yourself.  You can read a book that uplifts you and never fails to put you into a positive frame of mind.

Take a moment to remember and think about the accomplishments you’ve had so far, not only with your dreams and goals but also the times when you helped someone.  Perhaps you need to reach out now and help a neighbor or a friend.

You may need to spend time in nature–take a walk or work in the garden.  Perhaps it’ll help to play with your kids or your pet.

Once you’ve re-centered, then take that step!

Your homework today is to write down things you can do that will make you feel better when Life or a person has got you down.

For extra credit, find someone you know who’s struggling or maybe doesn’t feel so great about themselves.  Give them a pep talk.  Tell them the things you admire about them.  Remind them of what they’re good at.  You’ll make their day–and your own, too!

You can do it!  Yay you!

I’m so proud of you for turning around a negative situation.  You rock!  I knew you could do it!

Your Friend,


“…I’ll Never be Hungry Again!”

What does that line–one of the most famous in all of movie history–have to do with moving toward your goals?  Because it’s as important to know what you don’t want as it is to know what you do want.

The right kind of negative statement can be powerfully motivating.  In Gone with the Wind at the end of the film Scarlet is silhouetted in a blazing sunset with the ruins of her beloved Tara around her.  That’s when she declares “…I’ll never be hungry again!”

Here is the full text of the movie quote:  “As God is my witness, as God is my witness they’re not going to beat me. I’m going to live through this and when it’s all over, I’ll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!”

In those words, you can feel her steadfast determination and fierce resolve.  We believe her and we’re positive she succeeded.

Your homework for today is to draw that line in the sand for yourself.  Decide once and for all what you will not tolerate any longer.  Write it down using language that is emphatic, filled with powerful emotion, and something that makes the steely strength within you rise up.  Make the statement short and to the point; write it down and post it where you see it often.  Say the words to yourself every morning when you first wake up and make those words the last ones you say before falling asleep.

For extra credit, rent Gone With the Wind and watch the ending scene over and over again.  Absorb the force and intensity of the speech.  Make it your own.

You can do it!  Go you!

I’m so proud of you!  I knew you could do it!

Your Friend,


Jingle All the Way!


They’re catchy and tuneful, memorable and easily get stuck in your head.  You hear the first note or two and instantly your mind knows what it is.  You’re snapping your fingers and tapping your toes, and all day it goes ’round and ’round in your head.

You can do this for yourself with your own personal motivational statement.  Just think how powerful it would be to have a statement or a song that, to you, has power and energy in it–and have it looping in your mind throughout the day.  It’d be jet fuel, for sure!

For inspiration, think of your favorite company taglines, such as “Just do it” (Nike), “Where’s the beef?” (Wendy’s) and “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.” (M&Ms).  Also, think of your favorite jingles, for example “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is!” (Alka Seltzer), “My bologna has a first name it’s O-S-C-A-R…”  (Oscar Mayer), and “Mm, mm good, mm, mm good….” (Campbell’s Soup).

Here is a link to an article naming a few jingles:  (scroll through the comments for additional ones).  Here is a link to an article naming a few famous taglines:

Your homework is to create a tagline and/or a jingle for yourself.  If you’re having trouble coming up with something original, then rework a famous one (since it’s for your own personal use, it isn’t copyright infringement).  Have fun with this!  And don’t worry about making a mistake or not doing it right.  All that matters is that it’s meaningful, memorable, and fun for you.

You can even re-work one of your high school’s cheers or ones that your favorite professional team’s cheerleaders do.  If you can’t think of any, feel free to use this:

Rah, rah, rah! 


I can do it!

I can do it!

Rah, rah, rah!


You did it!  Yay you!

I’m so proud of you!  I knew you could do it!

Your friend,



Rise and Shine!

You can do it!  Go you!

Honor yourself and your commitment of making this year different for yourself by putting you first.

You took the time yesterday to work with the steps you need to take and you made them into small increments that you are sure you can do.  Honor this by scheduling time in your day to actually do one of the steps.  I’ve found the best time of the day is first thing in the morning.

When the alarm first rings, get up.  Don’t hit the snooze button.  I know it’s tough to get out of a warm comfy bed, especially if it’s dark and cold.  I know it’s tempting to say you’ll hit the snooze only this once….  Don’t do it–don’t hit that snooze button!  Get up instead.  You’ll be very glad you did, I promise.  Remind yourself that you’re getting up because you are in the process of building something better for yourself this year.

You don’t have to get up hours and hours ahead.  I’m sure you hit the snooze button several times in the morning.  Snooze periods are from 4 – 9 minutes, depending upon which brand of clock you have.  By getting up with the first buzz of the alarm, you’re gaining an extra 4 – 30 minutes (or more!) in the mornings.  That’s perfect for completing a step!


Choose one that will take only a few minutes to complete (when you’re beginning a new routine, start small and simple.  As your momentum gathers, you can increase your time).  This is another one of the benefits of breaking your steps into teeny tiny increments.  Not only does it create the belief that you can do that little piece, but the bits are small enough that they can be done in a few minutes.

When you put yourself first each morning, you’ll be surprised and amazed at how much better you’ll feel.  Soon, you’ll have a spark of energy that you didn’t have before.  You’ll also begin to feel more confident about yourself and more positive about the day ahead.  And it won’t take months to feel this.  With regularly putting yourself first in the day, you will quickly feel empowered.

For those of you who are unable to take an actual step, spend a few minutes first thing this morning imagining the little step that you could take if everything were lined up perfectly.  Engage as many of your senses as possible.  Don’t worry, though, if you have only a vague sense of things.  That’s good enough for now.

Your homework for today, in case you haven’t already done so, is spending a little time going through your list of teeny tiny steps and categorizing them into ones that will take 5 minutes or less to complete, ones that will take 5 – 15 minutes to complete, ones that will take 15 – 30 minutes to complete, and so on.  In the evening before you retire for the night, go through your list and select an increment you’ll complete first thing in the morning.  Then go to sleep with the peace of knowing you’re all set for a terrific start to your day.

You did it!  You got up when your alarm first rang and you also took a small step first thing this morning–whether you actually did something or if you spent time imagining it (PS: categorizing your steps counts as taking a step!) 

You are awesome–a rock star!  Yay you!

I’m so proud of you!  I knew you could do it!

Your friend,


Happy New Year!

You can do it!  Go you!

Here we are at the beginning of a fresh, clean New Year.  It’s sparkling, glittering with opportunity and promise. We can do anything we set our minds to!  We’ll knock it out of the ballpark this year, for sure.

From this vantage point, we believe that this year will be different for us.  Of course we’ll follow through on our plans, goals, and resolutions.  We have vim, we have vigor, and we’re confident we’ll keep driving forward all the way through the end of December.  But yet, there’s a niggling uncertainty in the back of our minds…how will we actually do this?

Though, for some of us at the leading edge of the New Year, we have a different vantage point.  Instead of seeing the brightness of possibility and good fortune, we may be experiencing the bone-wearying lifelessness of the deepening rut we’ve been in for years.  We have no goals, we have no plans, and we have no resolutions.  Our hopes and dreams died years ago.  We have no expectations because we promised ourselves that this year we would not set ourselves up for the disappointment of not following through and the resulting humiliation of being in the same place–or worse–this time next year.  Furthermore, it’s exhausting to even think about getting up the nerve and wherewithal to try–yet again–to make something different for ourselves.  But still, there’s a small whisper niggling at the back of our minds saying that we’re made for something more, something greater, than this…but how do we actually do this?

The answer is:  by taking one step at a time.

It sounds simplistic, even ludicrous.  Maybe it’s insulting to be told something we’ve heard countless times before.  We’ve already tried it with varying degrees of success and yet we’ve stood by helplessly as our excitement and drive fizzled out.  Or, perhaps we’re crushed by the despair of not being able to summon the tiniest scrap of energy to take so much as a feeble limp, much less a step. 

All these objections are saying one thing:  the steps you are taking, or are imagining you must take, are too large.  Break them into smaller pieces.  Make them microscopic if you have to.  Break them down to the point where the first step is something you believe is reasonable and achievable; something you can do.  It doesn’t matter what other people are doing or have done.  It doesn’t matter that the step you are taking is so small that even the most powerful electron microscope would have trouble detecting it.  The only thing that matters is that you are taking action–moving forward.

So that first step–either the one you will take or the one you are imagining taking–break it down into smaller pieces.  Break those into baby pieces.  Then break those into teeny tiny pieces.  Keep breaking them into smaller and smaller increments until you get to a piece that you know you can commit to doing.

To help you, repeat to yourself often throughout the day, emphasizing the word in italics:

I can do it;

I can do it;

I can do it;

I can do it.

Also repeat to yourself often throughout the day, emphasizing the word in italics:

Yes I can;

Yes I can;

Yes I can.

If one of these strikes a chord within you, then repeat that one as often as you can.  Write it down, carry it with you, paste it where you’ll see it often, and refer to it throughout the day.

Your homework for today is to break your step into small, easily doable increments and do only one of those increments today.  Or, when you imagine a step you might take if the world were perfect and if you had a stiff wind at your back, break that down into a very small piece that causes you to say, “Huh.  I think I can actually do that one.”

For those of you who can take the small incremental step, go ahead and do so.  For those of you who can only imagine it, then do that–trying to imagine it using as many senses as you can.  Don’t worry if you get only a little glimmer of it.  That’s good enough for now.

Congratulations!  Pat yourself on the back because you did it!  You took the first step!  That’s all you had to do today so you’re done!  You’re free to do what ever else you’d like to do.

Yay you!

I’m proud of you.  I knew you could do it!

Your friend,