Category Archives: Gratefulness

Bullying – Not Just for Kids

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When someone mentions the word “bullying”, we think of the schoolyard, assuming that bullying is a problem only children face. We believe that when kids grow into adulthood, they drop their childish ways: We think they’ll become more understanding and compassionate, that they’ll develop mastery over their emotions, that they’ll learn to be helpful to others, and that they’ll strive to become the best version of themselves. This is the course we’ve followed and we figure that everyone else will, too.

But they don’t.

Some adult bullies carry their bullying ways from childhood into adulthood. Others were nice as youngsters but something happened along their pathway to adulthood that turned them into bullies.

The point is that bullying is not a problem just for children. We adults can—and do—face it every day, too. We can encounter adult bullies in a variety of settings such as clubs and organizations, churches, neighborhoods, within our group of friends, and at work.

We don’t foresee this, which is why it’s so shocking when we run up against it. We expect adults to behave like, well, adults. We don’t anticipate that they’ll humiliate, belittle, or sabotage us or that we’ll see them do this to others. When we experience bullying directly or indirectly (witnessing another being bullied), we’re left bewildered, stunned, and wondering if what we just experienced/witnessed really did happen.

The effects can be devastating. We can feel isolated and alone, which leads to anxiety and depression. Our self-confidence plummets, our work suffers, and our mental and physical health can be negatively impacted. Anxiety.org has published a good article on bullying in the workplace. It contains additional information and resources regarding workplace bullying. 

The good news is there are things we can do to help ourselves if/when we find ourselves in this type of situation. We can:

~Get out.

~Develop a support system.

~Pursue professional development opportunities.

~Feel good about ourselves.

~Take care of ourselves.

~Keep work in perspective.

We will talk more about these in upcoming posts. Stay tuned and check back often!

In the meantime, here are a few statements to say to yourself this week:

I am a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars.

I am valuable and my thoughts, ideas, and talents are desperately needed in the world.

I am fully loaded with all I’ll need to create a wonderful life for myself.

I am someone’s miracle.

I am perfectly positioned to make my mark in the world.

I am so grateful that this situation is setting me up to be slingshotted decades ahead in my career and my life.

I am enlivened and aglow with the Divine Spark within me.

Repeat these statements first thing in the morning, several times throughout the day, and the last thing before going to bed. Let their power and inspiration infuse your mind, body, soul, and spirit.

You can do this, Pep Pal, especially since we’ll be doing it together!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

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Celebrating Our Friends and Pep Pals!

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We can never be too big or too much in our celebrations and appreciation of the people who are very special to us. They are our rock in tumultuous times, they cheer us on when the going gets tough for us, and they’re compassionate and loving when we’re down and discouraged.

Today, let’s celebrate them as if it’s their birthday. And, for those who have a birthday today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May today be your best birthday yet, and be the perfect start to a year that’s your best one yet!

 

Happy Birthday!

 

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Happy Birthday to You!

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Today, let’s celebrate the people who are special to us. Today, let’s treat them as if it’s their birthday.

And if it is their birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Thank you for the gorgeous and priceless gift of YOU!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Lauren

Thinking About Strawberries and Mom

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Is there a time of year or a season that reminds you of a loved one? Of course Christmas and other big celebrations remind us of our loving family and friends, however, is there another time that triggers warm thoughts of the people–or a person–you care about?

Strawberries are one of the markers in the year that does this for me. When it’s strawberry season, I can’t help thinking about my Mom.   I shared with you last week my childhood memories of strawberries and my Mom. Strawberries also remind me of her birthday. I think the strawberries celebrate her birthday, too, because they seem to peak right around her special day!

When I was at the farm picking strawberries earlier this week, I marveled at how there were loads of ripe ones close by for the picking. I didn’t have to range through the patch looking for enough to fill my quart container. Within a step or two of where I started, there were plenty for me.

Our loved one’s caring and love for us is much the same. People who truly love us are always there for us–only a step or two away.   They may not know how to help us and we may become frustrated because of this. If we take a deep breath and center ourselves, we can see and feel their loving concern even though all they can do is send prayers and good vibes to us.   We can help them help us by believing and knowing that they are thinking of us and sending us their very best thoughts and wishes.

Thanks, strawberries, for reminding us that our loved ones truly do care for us and want the very best for us.

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Happy Father’s Day 2018

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Here’s to fathers the world over who share themselves with their children: teaching us about intellectual pursuits and the value of education; the joy of physical activity, goofing around, and sportsmanship; the honor of putting our best foot forward and—regardless of the outcome—the satisfaction of knowing we did our best.

Thank you fathers for holding our hand when we needed it and for pushing us out of our comfort zones when we needed that—and thanks for knowing the difference!

Thank you fathers for showing us that real men step up to the plate and do what needs doing, whether they want to or not or whether it’s cool or not. Thanks for showing us that real men are gentle, compassionate, kind, and forgiving, and that they also know when to be tough, strong, and fierce.

Thanks fathers for showing us how to live with honor and integrity and that those virtues really are the best guides in life.

Happy Father’s Day!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Back by Popular Demand: Thanking Yourself

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This post was originally published on July 29, 2016.

 

Recently, I tweaked my morning practice. I now spend the first 20 – 30 minutes of the day sitting in silence–not meditating but sitting in silence and listening.  It’s through this updated practice that I discovered I don’t really thank myself.  I console myself, treat myself from time-to-time, and I even spoil myself when I’m feeling particularly bruised.

But I hadn’t made it a regular practice to thank myself.

The benefits I’ve discovered in the short while that I’ve done this have been pleasantly surprising. As I said in yesterday’s post, it’s helping me turn away from the past, letting go of it, and, as I said in yesterday’s post, I’ve found that forgiveness–of myself and others–is a natural, welcomed consequence.

I’ve also discovered that it’s an effective way to “turn that frown upside down”. The disparaging things that people have said about me–and even the negative things I tell myself–can be neutralized with this technique.

For instance, if someone says that we’re stubborn, usually that has a negative connotation: that we’re ornery and prickly and not very nice people.  Needless to say, this can have a very bad impact on our self-esteem!

But, what if we took that statement, “you’re so stubborn”, and instead dug a little deeper in ourselves to find what’s going on. We probably aren’t agreeing to go along with what the other person wants for a very good reason.  It can be that the person didn’t think through what they’re asking us to do and we can see all sorts of pitfalls.  We should thank ourselves for being the type of people who think things through and do reasonable due diligence before undertaking something.  We need to thank ourselves for being in tune with our intuition and the warning bells that are alerting us to something that needs further investigation.

So, stubborn? Not hardly!  And, Yay Us for having the skill and nerve to speak up and do what we think is right!

Also, I’ve found that thanking myself is a great way to start off the day. And, it’s also a great way to press the reset button on the day.  Naturally, it’s an excellent way to fall asleep, too!

You don’t have to make a big ordeal out of thanking yourself and it doesn’t have to be for Big Stuff. It can be for simple things such as “Thank you, me, for enjoying Nature and being able to give myself a lift by gazing at it through my window.”  Or “Thank you, me, for being diligent and persistent about understanding who I truly am.”  Or “Thank you, me, for choosing such good friends.” Or “Thank you, me, for buying fresh flowers for my home once a month.”  Or “Thank you, me, for always trying to see the good side of situations.” Or “Thank you, me, for giving people the benefit of the doubt.” Or “Thank you, me, for being a great cook!”

Simple things, ordinary things, the way you naturally are, the things you naturally do, are all excellent things to thank yourself for.

By making this a regular practice, you’ll find you feel lighter, more hopeful, and you’re more present in the moment and looking forward to the future. All good stuff!

Give it a try and let me know how it goes for you. Leave a comment!

Please pass this post along to a friend. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren