Category Archives: Mirror Work

Leaving: Hello!

https://pixabay.com/en/heart-two-people-hands-beach-ocean-1045210/

 

 

Yesterday we talked about taking ourselves in hand and giving ourselves a good, old-fashioned talking-to when we find ourselves backsliding in our quest to make a break from things that are not serving us. The other part of that process is to then give a warm welcome to the new direction in which we’re headed.

For instance, suppose you wan to spend more time goofing around with your kids but work, chores around the house, volunteer activities, and the like, keep tugging you away.   You realize it’s time to take yourself in hand and stop with all the excuses, justifications, and reasons.

It’s time for a good, old-fashioned talking-to!

I recommend sitting yourself down in a quiet place where you won’t have any distractions and you won’t be disturbed for about 15 minutes.

Step 1: Talk to yourself candidly and bluntly–NOT harshly but rather blunty, which means you aren’t sugar coating anything and you aren’t letting yourself off the hook.

~Remind yourself just how important your kids are to you.

~Remember when your parents spent time with you when you were a child and how that made you feel.

~Recall when your parents didn’t have time for you and dismissed you or, perhaps, they didn’t follow through on something the said they’d do for you or do with you. How did that make you feel?

~Do you think your kids are any different than you–that they’d have different feelings and emotions than you did?

~If you keep putting off spending time with them, do you think they’ll be less hurt than you were when your parents put you off?

 

Step 2: Add the warm welcome.

~Remind yourself how good you’ll feel knowing that you’re re-connecting with your kids

~Picture in your mind following through on tossing the ball back and forth with your kids or the fun you’ll have in making a batch of cookies with them.

~Focus on taking things in baby steps.

~Keep telling yourself that you can do it; it’s about connecting and not about perfection or everyone laughing and smiling and talking. It’s about being fully in the moment with your kids.

~Give yourself credit for the efforts your making and the following through on your intentions.   They all add up!

 

Although our example is about parents reconnecting with their kids, the steps can be applied to anything your making a break from and anything you’re moving toward.

Let me know how this works for you. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

 

Advertisements

Pep Talks: 12 Statements to Start Your Week Off Right

https://pixabay.com/en/heart-two-people-hands-beach-ocean-1045210/

 

I want to help you get the week off to a great start and today’s post contains 12 statements you can make to yourself first thing in the morning, throughout your day, and the last thoughts before bedtime.

You may not believe it but you do have what it takes. The day and week ahead may seem daunting but it’s manageable when you take it one little piece at a time. Don’t look too far ahead down the road and DO NOT look behind, especially don’t do this in judgment of yourself–harsh judgment in particular.

In spite of your circumstances, and instead of waking up with dread and misgivings and fretting, tell yourself that you can’t wait to see the good that will come to you today and the beauty that you’ll see along the way. Even if it feels like a lie and the most outlandish thing to think about the day, think it anyway. You need to retrain your mind and starting with your thoughts and your attitudes at the beginning of the day is a great place to start.

Here are some pep statements you can say to yourself in the morning, especially as you’re brushing your teeth and washing up in front of the mirror. Look at yourself. Right in the eyes. SMILE at yourself–in spite of the toothbrush in your mouth!–and say these statements with as much enthusiasm and pep as you can:

I have what it takes;

 

No matter what, I can and I will figure it out;

 

I can take care of myself; I can stand on my own two feet;

 

I have resources I can turn to that will support me as I figure it out;

 

I am talented and smart;

 

I am creative and can think of new and interesting and fun ways to use my talents, my abilities, my skills and my knowledge in ground-breaking ways to help myself;

 

All the raw materials I need to build my soul-prospering life are already within me;

 

I am strong, I am capable, I am competent; I am well able;

 

I am locked and loaded for victory and for greatness in my own life;

 

My life is the perfect fit for me and I am a perfect fit for my life:

 

I am approved, anointed, and I have the authority to live my life my way;

 

I am the only one who can live my life successfully, with majesty and greatness–no one else can do it; only I can!

 

Now stand straight and tall with your shoulders back and your head held high, looking the world square in the face. Now go out there and craft your soul-prospering life!

You can do it, I am very very sure of it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Other People: How to “Get Over It”

Copyright 2014 Artisans Workshop Designs

 

Wouldst make thy life go fair and square?
Thou must not for the past feel care;
Whatever thy loss, thou must not mourn;
Must ever act as if new-born.
What each day wants of thee, that ask;
What each day tells thee, that make thy task;
With pride thine own performance viewing,
With heart to admire another’s doing;
Above all, hate no human being,
And all the future leave to the All-Seeing.

Goethe.

 

 

We know we need to let go, to forgive; most of all we know we need to move on.

But how?

How do we do that when the injustice, the hurt, the humiliation, the pain, the loss is still so fresh and sharp, even though the original incident happened years ago?

The best, most effective way is to stop looking at the past and the thing that happened. Instead, look to the future.

But what if we can’t tear your focus away from the past; what if the future has no joy or hope?

The solution is to build a better image of the future, something we can look forward to. If we can’t do this then that means we’ve built up a much stronger, more compelling image of the past than we have of the future.

Focus on you. Focus on where you are headed. Focus on your dreams. If this is too much and you can’t do it, then focus on the next best step you can take in the next moment, the next hour, the next part of the day. Keep focusing on this–taking the next best step. Focus on it minute by minute.

Be relentless about this focus and you will find one day that you have dropped the heavy baggage from the past–the injustices and insults, the hurts and humiliations, the pain and pessimism.

Give it a try and let me know how it’s working out for you. You can do it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

A Quote for a Refreshing Night’s Sleep

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sweet-dreams-dreaming-of-snow-white-and-the-seven-dwarves.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sweet-dreams-dreaming-of-snow-white-and-the-seven-dwarves.jpg

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson.

This is excellent advice. Reviewing your day to look for ways to improve is one thing but going over your day and agonizing over it does no good whatsoever.

Berating yourself over the day does not turn back the clock and give you a second chance at it. It doesn’t erase what you did or did not do. The only thing agonizing and berating does is punish and torture you.

Where’s the good in that? There isn’t any–it doesn’t uplift you.

How does that help you move forward? It doesn’t.

How can you tell the difference between a healthy review of your day and agonizing over the day? With a healthy review, once you are finished, you put it aside and forget about it. When you are agonizing, you don’t put it aside. You keep poking at it, stirring it up, and you can’t leave it alone. It stays with you for hours–sometimes even through the night, disturbing your rest.

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=51718&picture=newborn-sleeping
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=51718&picture=newborn-sleeping

In order to train yourself to let the day go, post this quote on your bathroom mirror. As you’re washing up and getting ready for bed, read it and think about it. Let it’s simple wisdom loosen your grip on the day.

You can do it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

 

Without Limiting Yourself

 

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=111586&picture=girl-leaping-off-rock
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=111586&picture=girl-leaping-off-rock

 

Law of Attraction: when you truly want something and go after it without limiting yourself with disbelief, the Universe will make it happen. ~www.facebook.com/thesecret

 

I’ve been thinking about this quote all day. What’s been sticking in my mind is the phrase “…without limiting yourself with disbelief…”.  This is the key to achieving your dreams!

If you’re constantly trash-talking yourself, and even if you have the most supportive, encouraging, competent mentoring team in the world, you will not reach your dreams. Your limiting beliefs–trash talk–will sabotage and trip you up every single time.

With upbeat, encouraging self-talk you’ll not only overcome obstacles and challenges, but you’ll also neutralize the comments and attitudes of people who think you don’t have what it takes to succeed.

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=1961&picture=pot-of-gold and Artisans Workshop Designs
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=1961&picture=pot-of-gold and Artisans Workshop Designs

Here are examples of empowering self-talk statements: 

I’m going to take this mess and turn it into my message to help others!  

This setback is really a set-up for my fame and fortune!  

I’m a victor, never a victim!  

My future’s so bright, I need my sunglasses on all the time! 

For an extra kick, stand in front of the mirror and say these to yourself. Be sure to have a grin on your face and be enthusiastic!

You can do it, I know you can!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Change: How to Support Yourself

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=86017&picture=butterfly-on-hand
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=86017&picture=butterfly-on-hand

 

As we’ve discussed all week, change can be a challenge. It can be hard, uncomfortable, scary; it can get worse before it’s better, but we shouldn’t quit before it’s all said and done.  It’s important to keep plugging along and to head toward the light–or at least the path that isn’t as dark as the others.

It’s important, too, to keep up our morale. Sometimes we can turn to others but we may find that those close to us might be unnerved by the changes they’re sensing in us.  We may not be able to rely on them to be as supportive as they’ve always been.  We need to allow them to get used to the changes in us as much as we need to give ourselves a chance to get used to them!

In the meantime, we can boost our own morale. When we need encouragement, we can read accounts of how others have successfully changed and improved their lives.  We can do some mirror work and encourage as well as soothe ourselves by saying that this challenging and/or uncomfortable phase will pass–it won’t last forever.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Boy_with_life_preserver_fishes_off_pier_with_dog_near_by.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Boy_with_life_preserver_fishes_off_pier_with_dog_near_by.jpg

Getting out into Nature can be grounding, as can yoga, deep breathing, light exercise, and contemplation.

Other people have found that cleaning and organizing can center them. Many people find that cooking, baking bread, and tinkering in workshops can calm their nerves and steady them.

Experiment with different activities and note which ones work best for you. Feel free to use them as an aid to help you take the next step–even if it’s “just” an itsy-bitsy tidbit of a step!

Keep going!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

 

Another Thought About When Bad Days Strike

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=56656&picture=princess-lying-flat-on-roof
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=56656&picture=princess-lying-flat-on-roof

In yesterday’s post, we talked about things you can say to yourself when you’re in the midst of a bad day (click here to be taken to that post).

Today I want to talk about another thing to say.

When my daughter was young, it seemed as if the world was a very dangerous place. There were wars and conflicts and “police actions” everywhere, it seemed. Taxes were high, prices were going up, and it looked as if new diseases were popping up daily.

I remember walking out to the mailbox one day and I was uptight and on edge because of worries about the state of the world and feeling anxious and inadequate protecting my daughter from all the “bad stuff” that was out there.

Standing in front of the mailbox. I had a moment of astounding clarity. In that moment, I realized I was okay. My daughter was okay–better than okay, actually! My family was okay, too.

That day happened to be a beautiful spring day and I remember feeling the warmth of the sun on my shoulders and hearing the birds chirping. It occurred to me that if the world was that terrible of a place, the flowers wouldn’t be blooming, and the air wouldn’t be springtime-fresh.

In that moment, I knew all was well.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:L%C3%A9on_Perrault,_1894_-_Mother_with_Child.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:L%C3%A9on_Perrault,_1894_-_Mother_with_Child.jpg

Over the years I’ve returned to the saying “all is well” over and over again because it’s usually true. From one moment to the next, all really is well–even in spite of issues that I may have to deal with. Any perceived unpleasantness is usually in the future, not in the moment. And if it is unpleasant in that particular moment, it does not last forever and very soon, I can go back to saying in each moment that all is well.

Action Plan: along with the other mirror work you’re doing that was mentioned in yesterday’s post (click here to be taken to that post), add in the statement “All is well.”

During your day, remind yourself of this fact–especially when you find your thoughts veering off the road into the ditch of negative thinking. Pull them back by reminding yourself that right now, right here, in this moment, all is well.

Let me know how saying “All is well” works for you in the comment section below. If you’ve come up with tweaks that make it work better for you, feel free to share those in the comments below as well. Thanks for sharing!

You’re awesome!

I’m proud of you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren