Yesterday we talked about taking ourselves in hand and giving ourselves a good, old-fashioned talking-to when we find ourselves backsliding in our quest to make a break from things that are not serving us. The other part of that process is to then give a warm welcome to the new direction in which we’re headed.
For instance, suppose you wan to spend more time goofing around with your kids but work, chores around the house, volunteer activities, and the like, keep tugging you away. You realize it’s time to take yourself in hand and stop with all the excuses, justifications, and reasons.
It’s time for a good, old-fashioned talking-to!
I recommend sitting yourself down in a quiet place where you won’t have any distractions and you won’t be disturbed for about 15 minutes.
Step 1: Talk to yourself candidly and bluntly–NOT harshly but rather blunty, which means you aren’t sugar coating anything and you aren’t letting yourself off the hook.
~Remind yourself just how important your kids are to you.
~Remember when your parents spent time with you when you were a child and how that made you feel.
~Recall when your parents didn’t have time for you and dismissed you or, perhaps, they didn’t follow through on something the said they’d do for you or do with you. How did that make you feel?
~Do you think your kids are any different than you–that they’d have different feelings and emotions than you did?
~If you keep putting off spending time with them, do you think they’ll be less hurt than you were when your parents put you off?
Step 2: Add the warm welcome.
~Remind yourself how good you’ll feel knowing that you’re re-connecting with your kids
~Picture in your mind following through on tossing the ball back and forth with your kids or the fun you’ll have in making a batch of cookies with them.
~Focus on taking things in baby steps.
~Keep telling yourself that you can do it; it’s about connecting and not about perfection or everyone laughing and smiling and talking. It’s about being fully in the moment with your kids.
~Give yourself credit for the efforts your making and the following through on your intentions. They all add up!
Although our example is about parents reconnecting with their kids, the steps can be applied to anything your making a break from and anything you’re moving toward.
Let me know how this works for you. Thanks!
Your Friend and Pep Pal,