Category Archives: Patience

Leaving: Techniques that Help

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I came across a good article on the Internet about steps to take and things to do to make leaving easier.   The article is geared toward leaving a relationship, but the techniques can be applied to any scenario of leaving.

Here are a few suggestions the article made:

Establish new boundaries

While this is important in relationships, it can also be important in other scenarios, such as taking a new job. It might be necessary for you to stop going to the lunchtime restaurants or the after-work gathering places that you and your former colleagues went to.

Take a communication break

Stop thinking about and regularly communicating with people from your old circumstances. This will make it much easier to focus on your new situation.

Establish a new support system and communication network

This one may take a little time to establish, but be patient.

Let yourself grieve

There will be times in your new life that might be difficult and you may have wistful thoughts of your past circumstances. Be gentle with yourself during these times and let yourself grieve for what once was.   It’s normal and natural to miss things from your past, but also don’t wallow in self-pity and don’t second-guess your decision to make a break and move on.

Stay busy

Give yourself whole-heartedly to your new situation. Get involved with it. Meet new people, see new places, find interesting and fun things about your new circumstances.

 

Keep looking forward!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

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Mother Nature’s Wisdom: Seed Time versus Harvest Time

Copyright 2014 Artisans Workshop Designs

 

We all know that there are cycles or phases of nature: when seeds are planted; when they are growing into grain, vegetables, fruits, and the like; then harvesting at the peak of ripeness; and the final cycle or phase is storing for the future and resting.

We can take a lesson from this. Sometimes we get mixed up about the phase we’re in. We have a fantastic idea–seed time–and we work a little bit–we plant the seed of the idea by working with it. But then we get impatient and think we ought to jump right to the harvest and reap big juicy rewards…and we’re surprised when that doesn’t happen.

Or we may have great ideas but then we go right to the resting phase, somehow thinking the ideas will magically manifest themselves.

It doesn’t work like this.

Each phase of bringing our dreams into reality is important and can’t be skipped or rushed through. Like the planting cycles, each phase is essential. If a farmer skips the seed phase, there won’t be a crop to harvest no matter how diligent and careful the farmer was during the growing phase.

Same with our ideas. If we don’t think them through until we have something fresh and new to present to the marketplace, they’ll be the same old ideas that have been done before and they’ll fall flat.

If the farmer rushes through the growing phase, there won’t be a mature, ripe crop to harvest. And if the farmer decides to rest instead of tending the crops during the growing phase or if the farmer rests instead of harvesting, the results will be disastrous.

Even if we’re diligent during the seed phase of making our dreams come true, if we rush through the growing phase where we nurture our ideas and prepare them properly for the marketplace, our results could be disastrous as well.

The farmer knows that different plants have different growing times. Radishes are ready for harvesting in 25 to 30 days where pumpkins take 3 to 4 months to mature. Same with our ideas. Some of them are quickly manifesting little things and our more complex ideas may take months or years of growth before we see results. A farmer doesn’t rush the crops and we shouldn’t rush our ideas!

If you find yourself hitting a rough patch, stop and analyze what’s going on. You may find that you’ve rushed through a phase, or got them out of order, or completely skipped a phase!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Lauren

Silence and Meditation: 12 Benefits

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We’ve talked several times about sitting in silent meditation and contemplation.

Silent meditation forms in you a wide and deep channel for Love, through which you live a soul-prospering life.

Here is a reminder of the many benefits of a regular practice of this:

~Centering and grounding – let go and release the drama in your life; the drama you create as well of that belonging to others;

~Understand and feel your interconnectedness to the world – you are not alone;

~Align and connect with the Divine within – there is Something Out There that’s far bigger than you, me, the world, the universe…;

~Relaxing – reduces tension and blood pressure;

~Calming – reduces insomnia and increases restorative sleep;

~Boost neuroplasticity – a fancy word for your brain growing new cells and making new connections between neurons, which increases the health and strength of your brain;

~Clears your mind – you can think clearer, more creatively, see connections and opportunities, thus enabling you to make better decisions;

~Peaceful heart and spirit – lessen the likelihood of your emotions getting the better of you;

~Gratitude – aiding you in noticing the gifts, beauty, and happy surprises of Life;

~Increases well-being – you come to understand Life and your Mission on a deeper level;

~Helpfulness – you are more likely to reach out a helping hand to others;

~Joy, contentment, happiness – you come to understand that you are valuable and valued, which is the foundation of true self-esteem and self-worth.

 

You can do it! Go for it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

 

A few articles about the benefits of silence and meditation:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/silence-brain-benefits_us_56d83967e4b0000de4037004

http://www.chopra.com/articles/why-meditate-0#sm.00019ivvt9hske44xba2adinb7g3e

http://www.lifehack.org/377243/science-says-silence-much-more-important-our-brains-than-thought

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/246503

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/20-ways-sitting-silence-can-completely-transform-your-life/

Back by Popular Demand: You’ve Failed? Congratulations!

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http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rozbit%C3%A9_j%C3%ADzdn%C3%AD_kolo_na_b%C5%99ehu_Daugavy.jpg

 

 

Bad choices, mistakes, and plain old stupidity.  Nobody wants to acknowledge these, much less talk about them.  People want to hear success stories, find the keys to success, and learn the 3 steps or 7 steps or 12 steps–or however many steps are in vogue at this moment–to success.  The media and our culture glorify it, making us feel envious and less-than, which Madison Avenue loves because then they can sell us something to “solve” it.

However, failure is one of the most important things you can do, as long as you don’t let it defeat you and as long as you don’t quit!

In spite of how discouraged–or ridiculous or stupid–you may feel and no matter how hard it is, take the next step!

Moving forward, even if it’s only by an infinitesimally small increment, is the only way to get through (around, under, or over) what seems like failure and defeat.  In reality, it’s a stepping-stone to a breakthrough for you.

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http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Cononley_09.JPG

So, in the words of Winston Churchill, “When you’re going through hell, keep going!”  

Here are a few other quotes that might inspire and motivate you:

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

– Truman Capote

Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent.

– Marilyn vos Savant,

Fall down seven times, get up eight.

- Japanese Proverb

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

– Michael Jordan

 

Jot down any of the quotes that resonated with you and keep them handy so you can refer to them often.  I’m so proud of you for not giving in, for finding the steel and the fire within, and for moving forward.  

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Getting a Good Start in 2017 Doesn’t Mean Hitting the Ground Running or Taking Leaps and Bounds

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http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tiny_foot.jpg

 

Your life begins at the end of your comfort zone.  ~Neale Donald Walsch

Even though we’ve turned out the lights and locked the door on 2016, we still remember some of the ways in which we were ineffective and we don’t want to repeat that in 2017.  Understandably, we want this year to be different so we think we need to “hit the ground running”.  We think this means we have to immediately make big changes, take leaps and bounds, and relentlessly move forward.

Not true.

Some people can do this but I think most of us need to ease our way into the New Year, especially if we want to make some substantive changes and have them stick.  We know that making these changes means stepping outside of our routines into the unknown, establishing new routines and habits that are more conducive to getting us to our dreams.

It’s nerve-wracking to think of moving into the unknown.  Sure, we can all do it for a while but very soon we want the comfort of the old familiar patterns.  We’re not convinced that we can sustain our nerve of being in the unknown until the new patterns become familiar and comfortable.  We’re already a little disappointed in just thinking about this because we’re afraid we can’t do it; afraid this year’ll be a repeat of the worst parts of 2016.

That I know of, there’s only one sure-fire way to step out of your comfort zone, to make meaningful changes, and to have them stick:  baby steps.

Like today’s quote tells us, the life of our dreams begins at the end of our comfort zone.  But we don’t have to jump in with both feet all at once.  We can take baby steps to get there.  Sometimes we can take big steps—leaps, even—but most of the time they’re going to be little steps.  We’ll probably go through phases from time-to-time were the little steps will have to be broken down into itsy bitsy teensy tiny little fragments of steps.

No worries!

The fantastic news is that these count; they add up!  It’s true that no effort is ever wasted!  Our littlest microscopic piece of a step WILL get us to our dreams as surely as if we made an Olympic caliber vault into our dream life.

So when we think of getting 2017 off to a good start and we think of the changes we want to make, think in terms of baby steps.  Identify the little bits that we can do now, and a little bit more that we can do tomorrow, and the other bits we can do in the following days.  We’ll be pleased to see that our little efforts add up!

We can do it, I’m sure of it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Year End Reflections It’s Okay to Feel Down Part 1

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https://pixabay.com/en/portrait-man-person-968652/

It feels like an affront to this time of year to feel down; it seems the whole world is joyful and expects you to be happy and excited, too.

I came across a good article about feeling down and how it’s okay to feel this way.  Along with the recommendations it makes, here are a few of my own:

https://pixabay.com/en/teddy-bear-nurture-needs-childhood-487277/
https://pixabay.com/en/teddy-bear-nurture-needs-childhood-487277/

~Be honest with yourself that you’re feeling low–don’t sugar coat it or ignore it;
~Get rid of the self-judgment and self-punishment–give yourself permission to be glum;
~Give yourself the space you need feel this way–to understand and process your feelings;
~Be kind and tender with yourself–gently ask yourself why you’re feeling this way (what were the causes) and, even more gently, ask yourself what you might be able to do about it.

The important things are to be honest and gentle with yourself.

Let me know in the comments below how this technique worked out for you.  Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Lauren

Your Own Pace

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http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mark_Twain,_New_Hampshire,_1905.JPG

 

Yesterday in our review of where we stand, we may think we’re moving to slow.  Our friends, family members, and colleagues seem like they’re moving much faster than we are.

Move at your own pace.

Don’t worry about how fast others around us are going.  Don’t use others’ standards  as the guides we use to measure our progress and our pace.

You have your own natural pace; stick to it.  Your own pace is the exact right and perfect pace that WILL get you to your dreams.

In other words, your dreams are calibrated to your pace, so keep going!  You’ll get to your dreams!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren