We’re healthiest when we view our sense of self as an ongoing journey–something that unfolds as we step out of our comfort zones and have new experiences. Who we see ourselves as isn’t cast in concrete, never to change. Of course there may be attributes or characteristics that we choose to keep the same, such as deciding that we’ll always have blond or auburn hair, but most other things about ourselves will change to a degree.
This is a good thing!
This is what enriches our lives and it also gives us the flexibility to successfully weather the challenges that Life throws our way.
Add this thought–keeping our senses of self fluid–into the mix as you’re thinking this week about who you are.
The very first thing, though, is to start with silence. It’s in going within and connecting with your True Self that you will know the Still Small Voice as well as the whisperings of your heart and the urgings of your soul.
Take time today for silence. You don’t need special clothing or equipment, you don’t need to sit/stand/lie in a special position, you don’t have to travel to any special place. You can be silent exactly where you are right at this moment.
Having said that, though, you’ll have a better session of silence if you can be in a place where you’re comfortable, that offers some quiet, and where you can be undisturbed for 15 to 20 minutes.
This week’s theme is “Who Am I?” In your silence, contemplate this. Let the question roll gently in your mind. Let the thoughts drift by WITHOUT judgment. You can note facts about yourself such as your height, gender, nationality, and the like. You can note characteristics about yourself, for example that you’re cheerful, generous and kind. You can also note things you are good at, and things about yourself that you’re proud of.
Here are a few quotes to aid you in your contemplation:
You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.~as quoted from Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.~Our Greatest Fear by Marianne Williamson
God tries to first create a joyous yes inside of you, far more than any kind of no . . . Just saying no is resentful dieting, whereas finding your deeper yes, and eating from that table, is always a spiritual banquet.― Richard Rohr, Immortal Diamond: The Search for Our True Self
Please keep handy this week the thoughts and insights about yourself that you had during your silence today. Refer to them often during the week; remember to make a note of new insights about yourself and your life that come to you this week.
This week and next week we’ll revisit some of the top posts from 2017.
This post about Mr. Roger’s quote was originally posted in 2014 but it’s still one that you, my followers, and guests to my blog consistently search out. My thought on the continued popularity of this post is that we all need to be frequently reminded that we’re fine just the way we are. Sure, we have shortcomings and we aren’t perfect, but on the whole, we’re pretty darned cool in our own way. And “our own way” is just fine because Source has crafted us perfectly to lead our individual life.
Here’s the original post:
“I like you just the way you are.” ~Mr. Rogers
Happy Birthday, Mr. Rogers! Today (March 20, 2014) would have been his 86thbirthday.
One of the most memorable statements Mr. Rogers would often say is “I like you just the way you are.” What a relief to have someone say that to you! What a gracious gift saying it to someone else—even if you don’t particularly like the person.
That last sentence sounds contradictory but think about this: Most of us have struggles and we’re sometimes amazed to have made it through the day. Most people are buried under piles of “you should, you ought to, and you’d better”. It could be that we aren’t seeing the real person so we don’t really know if it’s them we don’t like or the way the pressure is twisting them that we don’t like.
Also consider this: There are different levels of ‘like’ ranging from the kind of like that’s a common respect of all living things to the type of like that’s deep admiration, bordering on love. So, when you say to a person, “I like you just the way you are”, it’s okay to intend it in a respectful way rather than meaning you’d like to be the person’s best friend.
More importantly, though, think about what it could do for the other person to hear someone say “I like you just the way you are”. For a moment, they can let go of their burdens and cares; they can just be—maybe even take a breath, something they may not have done in a long while. You saying “I like you just the way you are” can be a healing touch to a place inside them that’s been hurt too long.
Saying “I like you just the way you are” can have magical and miraculous results.
Your homework today is to join the many others’ in honoring Mr. Rogers’ birthday by putting on a sweater. Be a good neighbor to someone by saying “I like you just the way you are”. The second part of your homework is to go to your mirror, look deep into your eyes, and say to yourself “I like you just the way you are”. Give yourself a big smile when you say it!
I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!! I think you’re awesome!
This post is still as relevant today as it was over three years ago. We all need to hear that we’re a-okay in spite of the mistakes we’ve made and the times we didn’t come through for friends, family, neighbors, co-workers when we know we should have.
Each day is a clean slate and an opportunity to start again. Start it out with one of Mr. Roger’s most famous statement: I like you just the way you are!
You may be thinking that all these posts this week have been fine and dandy but what if you have no idea what your “talk” is so there’s no way you can do any walking of it and forget about doing the work!
Here are a few techniques to help you get going:
Sit in Silence – I know, I know. You’re rolling your eyes at this one because I ALWAYS recommend this technique. The benefits of regularly sitting in silence and checking in with yourself, including the Divine within, are soooo worth it that it’s my first go-to recommendation. If you aren’t regularly doing this, I urge you to set up a practice NOW, today. It doesn’t have to be long—starting out with 5 minutes each day is a great start. It’s the consistency of showing up for that 5 minutes every day that will give you the payoff.
Sitting in silence is a great place to start for hearing and understanding your “talk” and then thinking of the ways you can walk it. Not only does the silence help you get in touch with the Divine within and give you the quiet to hear the Still Small Voice within, but the silence gives you the breathing space and elbow room away from the pushing and pulling, poking and prodding of the world.
That in itself is worth it!
Playlists – music is a great way to inspire yourself and keep you motivated. Also, it’s helpful to listen to Audio books and Youtube speeches to encourage you and fortify yourself.
Because you’ve been regularly sitting in silence *ahem*…*wink*, you’ll know which emotions and feelings are your habit. For instance, perhaps you are easily frustrated or annoyed, or maybe you worry and fret. You may find that your go-to emotions are discouragement and thinking you can’t do it.
Devise playlists for each of these emotions and feelings. When you’re feeling any of these, you can play the songs, speeches, bits of wisdom and pull yourself out of these and into a more productive frame of mind. You can stop yourself from a full-on pity party or sinking into despair or getting stuck and wallowing in it.
Socialize with people who celebrate you – Blue Zones of Happiness by Dan Beuttner found that the happiest most well-adjusted people spend 3 – 6 hours a day socializing.
No, they aren’t at bars downing brews and jello shots, and no, this doesn’t give you permission to gossip or fritter away your time with useless activities.
Spending 3 – 6 hours daily socializing can take the form of working with your colleagues at work completing your assignments with excellence; it may mean working with others in volunteer and civic organizations on projects you’re passionate about. Daily socializing can include taking classes as well as sharing your interests, hobbies, and favorite activities with other like-minded people. And, it can also mean reaching out a helping hand to your neighbor.
Of course socializing also means sharing meals with friends and family, going to cultural activities with those you love, and enjoying an afternoon of golf with your buddies or kayaking with your girlfriends.
Get involved and stay involved with others. Even if you’re an introvert or very shy, you can find a level that’s comfortable for you.
It’s through socializing—spending time with others talking, laughing, exchanging ideas—that you can get a better handle on what’s important and meaningful to you. From this you can then determine your purpose and your passion.
Give these a try and let me know how they work out for you. Thanks!
You see quotes about hard work and you see successful people who seem to work all the time, and all the motivational videos on YouTube seem to feature men sweating profusely as they push the limits working out with weights or boxing in the ring. It seems like a lot of effort and energy.
Most of all, it seems very painful…and lonely.
But that isn’t true.
Sure there are going to be sacrifices you’ll have to make but those sacrifices don’t have to be your family or friends or the activates that make your heart sing.
But there will be sacrifices you’ll have to make. They’ll be thinks like sacrificing:
~watching hours on end of mindless and dumb TV;
~hanging out with people who don’t celebrate you;
~participating in activities you don’t enjoy;
~volunteer projects that you were guilted into joining;
~spending more time at work than what you really need to;
~trying to stay up with the latest trends in pop culture;
~wasting hours on social media and feeling deflated because of it;
~using a toothbrush to clean every nook and cranny of your home…
What if your loved ones and true friends complain that they don’t see much of you anymore? Find a way to make them a part of what you’re doing to create a soul-prospering life.
Perhaps they can’t help you with hands-on tasks but showing them and explaining to them what you’re doing can give them a better idea of what you’re doing. They’ll come to understand how important it is to you. Then, they’re more likely to help you create more time in your schedule to pursue your purpose and passion. You’ll probably inspire them to do the same for themselves. And this will then help you build richer, fuller relationships with those you love and those who are important to you.
It’s a win all around!
Plus that, doing the work isn’t really that hard or uncomfortable because your soul-prospering work is what you love and enjoy doing.
If you aren’t loving it or enjoying it in spite of the challenges then you are working someone else’s idea of what your soul-prospering work and soul-prospering life should be.
IMMEDIATELY change it to what is soul-prospering for YOU!!!!!
When you Walk the Talk and Do the Work of striving toward your dreams, you increase the likelihood of creating a soul-prospering life for yourself and there are other benefits as well.
When you consistently walk the talk and do the work, you can look forward to:
Let’s face it, crafting your soul-prospering life isn’t easy; you’ve probably endured many a rough patch. And you made it through. It may not have been pretty, and you may not have the outcome you hoped for, but you made it through.
You’ve learned that you can rely on yourself—you can count on you—in spite of what you think your shortcomings are (not smart enough, not talented, don’t have the “right” education…). You were able to figure enough of it out so that you made it through. And, since nothing’s cast in concrete, there’s always the opportunity to keep plugging away at it so you can modify the outcome!
Because you’ve been through the rockslides of life and you discovered that you can rely on yourself, your self-esteem naturally improves. While you still may not be the most talented or smart or graceful about the whole thing—and I must interrupt here and say if you’re thinking this about yourself, or anything similar to this, STOP IT RIGHT NOW because you’re comparing yourself to others and you’ll always come out the loser when you do that—in spite of all of this, you did it and are continuing to do it.
You know yourself much better. You have a better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. You know what to do to shore up your weaknesses and how to play to your strengths. You’ve found people who will help you when you need it as well as discovered those who truly celebrate you.
Best of all, though, is that you have a deeper, wider understanding of your purpose and passion. Along with this, you’ve probably discovered new ideas about how to bring your special talents to the world.
Walking the talk, doing the work, may be difficult and heartbreaking at times, but there now is a depth and wisdom to you and your character that you wouldn’t have gotten any other way.
This means that no one else can do it for you. It is up to you to do it.
Do the work:Walk the talk!
Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean that you have to go it alone and that you have to figure everything out by yourself.
No, not at all.
There are mentors and coaches to help you; there are books, classes, teachers, and other resources to help you. There are libraries and reputable resources on the Internet.There are support groups, clubs, and organizations that are designed to help others with specific difficulties or for teaching particular skills.
There is plenty of help in the world, but it’s up to you to find it and use it to help yourself achieve your special purpose for being in this world.