Here Be Dragons

You’re frozen, paralyzed, and can’t move forward.  You know you want to take the step, you know it’ll take you that much closer to your dreams and goals, but you just can’t do it.

You feel out of control and nothing around you seems familiar.  Your old ways of responding to situations may not work and your mind is blanking out on what to do.  You’re beginning to believe the notations on the edges of antique maps might actually be true:  “Here be dragons”!

Believe it or not, it’s a good thing when you’re feeling this way!  All that’s happening is that you’re doing something different and stretching yourself.  Your brain no longer has a familiar template to work with so it’s sending signals to you saying “Danger, danger, Will Robinson!”

It isn’t unusual at all that–as you move toward your dreams–anxieties, fears, and even abject terror can be triggered.   It’s normal and not something to panic about.  All it means is that you’re moving out of your comfort zone.

Not a big deal, truly.  Slowing down and taking smaller steps will usually help you feel more stable.

Please know that I am not diminishing or invalidating anything you’re experiencing.  What I am trying to do is help you by pointing out that you’re still on this side of the dirt so this isn’t fatal.  It isn’t cataclysmic either because the world is still spinning and gravity is still holding everything in place.

I’ll bet you can remember times when you weren’t anxious and you felt safe and okay.  So that says that your feelings of fright are not here to stay–they’re just passing through.  Soon, if you pause and take slow, deep, calm breaths and repeat to yourself that all is well, you’ll find yourself feeling less anxious and overwhelmed.  Your reason and logic will come back and you’ll be able to use them to further calm yourself down.

Your homework for today is to remain present in your anxiety.  I know it’s a tough thing to do because you want to run and hide.  Do what you can to get a grip on it rather than letting it spiral out of control.  The more you are present in the moment with it and the braver you are in looking at it right in the face, the better you’ll understand it and the easier it will be for you to find the gift it has for you.

For right now, you might be able to do this for only a very short while.  That’s okay.  Every time you do this, every time you don’t give in all the way and every time you push back just a little bit, you become stronger and you gain a little piece of understanding about yourself.  Challenge yourself each time to do just a little bit more than the last time, even if it’s just a tiny bit.  Tiny bits count!

If you can, for extra credit, after you’ve calmed yourself a little bit, think about what might have triggered your anxiety.  Remember who you were with, where you were, what was being said, what were you thinking, any scents or any other sensory details.  Scents and other sensory impulses can be very powerful and trigger long-forgotten recollections

It might not have been anything you actively did but rather something someone said or something you observed–or even an impression that was operating at nearly subconscious level.

Try to identify the trigger.  Knowing this can help you brainstorm things you can do when you find yourself feeling anxious.  If you’re prepared, then you can do something about it and help yourself feel better.

This can be hard work to find your way out of the panic, but you can do it!  Keep working at it, you’re doing fine!  It’s going to take a little bit of time and effort because it’s a new skill for you–remember the earlier post that you’re a learner!  You can do this, though, as long as you keep at it bit by bit.

For another extra credit assignment, find a teensy-tiny, itty-bitty piece of a step that you can quickly and easily do, then do it.

Don’t worry if these extra credits are too much for you to do right now.  One day you’ll be able to do it, I’m sure of it!

It’s a very big deal that you’ve calmed yourself down, even just a tiny bit.  You’ve struck a blow against your anxieties, fears, and panics.  Yay you!!

You did excellent work today!  Feel proud of yourself because this is sometimes hard and scary work.  You did it, though!  Good for you!

**As an aside, when you do releasing-type work, whether it’s with physical things, such as decluttering your home, or if you’re working with identifying emotional triggers and other blocks, be sure you drink plenty of water to flush out your system.  Also, eat foods that are fresh with life in them, such as raw vegetables and fruits.  Finally, make sure you get plenty of rest and sleep.  Releasing-type work is strenuous and your body needs sleep and rest–maybe even a little more than usual.

I am so proud of you.  You rock!

Your friend,


**Please note that I am not a medical professional and do not intend to dispense any kind of medical advice or recommendations.  I’m sharing what’s worked for me.  Please consult with appropriate health care professionals regarding your particular situation.


Release Me, Let Me Go

You probably have a routine of affirmations and you say them faithfully.  You’ve de-cluttered your environs, including your mind.   You have the education, the skills, a well thought-out plan as well as back-up plans.  You probably have a network of people and resources to turn to when, inevitably, the going gets tough.  Yet, you still can’t seem to press the “start” button–or your motor quickly comes to a sputtering halt.

What’s going on?

It very well could be that you need to let go of some outdated notions you have about yourself.  Subconsciously (or consciously) you may be hearing someone from your past telling you that you don’t have what it takes to make anything of yourself.  It could be that you view yourself as too old or too young, not the right gender or race, or some other thing.  Or you have the crazy idea that other people are lucky and destined to achieve success whereas you simply are not.

Let me tell you that success is no respecter of persons meaning that it doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have, where you grew up, who your family is; how old, young, short, tall, fat, skinny, you are or anything else, for that matter.  All it takes to be successful is to consistently and persistently take the steps needed toward your goals and dreams and keep doing this for as long as it takes.  So what if it takes you your whole life to achieve your dreams and goals?  Can you think of any more exciting or noble thing to dedicate your life to?

So, release and let go of the unhelpful notions about yourself that you may be harboring in your psyche.  Whether they come from anyone else or if it’s something you came up with on your own, let it go!

Even if it’s an authority who says that it can’t be done, it still doesn’t matter.  They don’t know everything there is to know and you may have a shade different take on something that’ll make all the difference.

For your reading pleasure, here is an article on a few everyday items we all enjoy that, when they were first invented, experts scoffed at:

For your homework today, search the Internet for sources listing other inventions and creations that experts laughed at.  Now, take a moment to absorb the fact that even the experts don’t have all the answers!  Feel yourself letting go of and releasing all those outdated notions you have of yourself and know that with consistently taking steps, eventually you will reach your dreams and goals.

Get busy taking that next step!!

You can do it!  Go you!

I’m so proud of you.  I knew you could do it!

Your Friend,


Stop, in the Name of Love

Copyright VNS Images
Copyright VNS Images

When we make a mistake and when we suffer a setback or a failure, oftentimes we feel like a loser.  We chastise ourselves for not being smarter or for not anticipating this.  It may cause us to question our intelligence, competency, capabilities, and the legitimacy of our desire to go for our goals and dreams.

For the love of yourself and who you are, STOP!  Stop yourself before you go too far with this!

Just because you made a mistake or had a setback or experienced a failure, that does NOT negate or invalidate the fact that you have every right to go for your goals and dreams.

You are NOT a loser, YOU ARE A LEARNER!!!

Let me repeat that:  You are NOT a loser, YOU ARE A LEARNER!!!

Did you get that?  You are NOT a loser, YOU ARE A LEARNER!!!

One more time!  You are NOT a loser, YOU ARE A LEARNER!!!

You may have to tweak your plans a bit or do more research or brush up your skills.  You may have to break the steps into smaller pieces.  This is normal and natural.  This is all a part of the journey to your dreams and goals.

Treat yourself kindly and gently.  Brush yourself off and tell yourself that this is not the end of the world, because it isn’t.  Think about how far you have already come in these first few weeks of the year.  Give yourself credit for all the things you’ve learned.  Pat yourself on the back for all the steps you’ve taken, no matter how small.  Take a moment to think about the good things you have done, whether or not it’s in relation to your goals and dreams.  I’m sure you’ll find that you’re a terrific person!

Take a little time today to do something nice for yourself (remember you don’t have to spend money).  Things like playing with your pet, visiting or calling family or friends, sitting or walking in nature, reading a good book, and listening to good music are all things that will restore your spirits.

You can do this, I know you can!

Your homework for today is to repeat to yourself:

I am a learner

I am a learner

I am a learner

Also repeat:

Every day in every way I am getting better and better (a quote attributed to Emile Coue, a French psychologist and pharmacist in the early 1900’s)

Repeat often throughout the day, especially first thing in the morning and the last thing before going to sleep.

For extra credit, read any biography or memoir about anyone who’s achieved a level of success and you will find that they’ve all had bumps–and out-right disasters–to deal with as they went for their goals and dreams.  By picking themselves up and trying one more time, they eventually achieved success.  You can, too!

I am so proud of you for loving yourself enough to take care of yourself.  I’m proud of you for loving yourself enough to give it another shot.

I knew you could do it!

Your Friend,


Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

A powerful technique for helping yourself get motivated–or helping yourself stay motivated–is working with a mirror. Counselors, psychologists, and healing coaches have used this tool for many years.  This method will help you counteract those harsh judgments and criticisms we think about ourselves every day, sometimes many moments during the day.

Working with a mirror does not mean that you are selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, pig headed, too big for your britches, or any other derogatory and unhelpful label.  You will not get a big head or become full of yourself.  Instead, this technique is like using a healing salve on an open wound.

Copyright VNS Images
Copyright VNS Images

You WILL begin to see the gifts and talents you have that make you unique.  You WILL understand the valuable contributions you have to make to your corner of the world.  You WILL genuinely like–even love–and value yourself.  You WILL have a positive impact on your own life, your family, your friends, and your community.  You WILL become kinder, more tolerant, and more generous.  You WILL have more energy and enthusiasm for your goals and dreams and for living the best life that you can.

Your homework is to get a mirror, one that you can keep in a pocket or purse.  Find a private space and several moments when you won’t be disturbed.  Look into the mirror and into your eyes.  Say positive things to yourself, perhaps things that you always wanted to hear from someone.  If you can’t think of anything, here are a few statements to get you started:  I love you; I’m so good looking, I’m very nice, I have pretty eyes, I like the color of my hair.  I’m so smart.

You can also use “you” instead of “I” statements such as:  You are awesome; You’re a genius; You’re cute; You’re very generous; You’re the kindest person I know.

Do this exercise the first thing in the morning and right before going to bed in the evening.  If you can also do it during the day, all the better.

It may feel awkward and you may be embarrassed doing this exercise.  Do it anyway.  You’ll be glad you did.

You can do this; I believe in you!

I’m so proud of you for pushing through your discomfort and doing this exercise.  I knew you could do it!

Your Friend,


True Grit

Have you run into some setbacks or unexpected challenges?  Or, are you having trouble getting out of the starting gate—or nowhere even near the starting gate?

Are you feeling hopeless, that you’ll never get the hang of this or that the obstacles are too numerous and the obstacles are too large to overcome?

No worries!  The good news is you are not alone and you are not the unique in these experiences. Everyone runs into setbacks, challenges, and obstacles.  And, at one time or another, everyone has experienced difficulty getting started.

Forward movement is critical, especially when you’re feeling discouraged.  You may think this is the absolute worst time for you to make any kind of forward movement, even a minuscule one.  I urge you to challenge yourself.  You will be astonished to learn that there are depths and strengths to you that you didn’t know about.  You’ll discover them by daring yourself to take a small step.  And, you’ll be surprised at the burst of energy you feel and, most important, the surge of self-confidence and pride.

You don’t have to scrap the whole deal and start from the very beginning.  You don’t have to toss in the towel and give up because you think this means that you don’t have what it takes.

The good news is you can start right where you are.

Your homework is to take a look at your list of steps, break one of them down into a teeny tiny piece–a piece that you know you can easily do–and then do it.

You can do this; I believe in you!

Go for it!

I’m so very proud of you.  Moving forward when you least feel like it and when you least expect to be able to is a very important accomplishment.  Make note of it.

Extra credit:  celebrate and revel in the fact that you did it!

You are awesome!

I knew you could do it!

Your friend,


Have I Told You Lately…?

Copyright by LMC Images
Copyright by LMC Images

This is what I believe and know to be true about you:

You are strong;

You are capable;

You are competent;

You are intelligent;

You have your own special brand of genius;

You are smart;

You have loads of common sense;

You can figure things out;

You are an overcomer;

You are a warrior;

You are a victor;

You are a champion;

You have what it takes to achieve your goals and dreams;

You are fully equipped and empowered to make your dreams and goals come true;

You have grit;

You have determination;

You are persistent;

You have high character;

You have high integrity;

You are a person of worth;

You are a person of value;

You are generous;

You reach out a helping hand to others;

You are beautiful;

The world is a richer place because you are part of it;

You are brave;

You are courageous;

You are in the right place at the right time doing the right things in the right way.

Your homework is to read this often and let the words sink into your mind and your bones.  Believe them because they are true.

You can do this!  I believe in you!

I’m so proud of you for moving forward.  I knew you could do it!

Your Friend,


Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo

What do you do when you have several directions or opportunities to choose from?  Each one seems promising, as if they’ll all take you farther down the path toward where you want to go.

What do you do?

Take a moment for playful contemplation.  Hold each one in your mind, giving yourself time to play with them.  Let your mind come up with impressions and feelings and images about each one of the opportunities.  Give yourself about 10 minutes for this session–no more than 15 minutes.  This is meant to be a quick, fun session.  You are after first impressions because they are often truer than the ones you get after you think about it a little bit.  When you think too hard, it invites your Internal Critic to weigh in and oftentimes it can be a Negative Nick.  So give this a light touch and be open to what ever it is your mind has to show/tell you.

Candle in the DarkAfter the session, jot down a few notes about what you felt about each idea during your contemplation and what you feel now.  Soon, if not right away, you’ll be drawn to one idea/opportunity/path/step.  It will feel right or it may feel fun or you may “just know” in your bones or heart that it’s the right one.  The energy of that path or step will be a little different than the others–a little brighter or lighter in weight.

Your homework for today is to sit in playful, quiet contemplation and hold in your mind the steps and direction you are taking toward your goals and dreams.  Whether you have a clear direction with obvious steps or if you have several options and paths available, take the time to hold this in your mind.  For those of you with multiple choices, one of them will stand out, even a little bit, from the rest.  For those who know for sure you are on the right path, this exercise will confirm it and give you that much more confidence.

Remember to take the next step in your journey, even if it’s just a teeny tiny one.  Keep the momentum up; keep moving forward!

You can do it!  Yay you!

I am so proud of you!  You are awesome!  I knew you could do it!

Your Friend,


Crafting a soul-prospering life.