Happy Valentine’s Day!

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When you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your loved ones and friends, don’t forget to celebrate yourself!

 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

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Remember These 7 Truths About Yourself

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When we’re in a difficult situation, such as being targeted by the bully in the workplace, oftentimes we have trouble remembering—and believing—the Truth about ourselves. Being in these circumstances can cause us to doubt our capabilities and our competencies to perform even the simplest, most basic of tasks. Our minds can become scattered and our ability to focus can be hampered. We can’t and we don’t think straight about ourselves.

Worst of all, we might question our worth as an individual. In extreme circumstances, we may even question our existence—whether or not we should even be on Earth.

First of all, if you are thinking these kinds of thoughts, GET HELP. Reach out to trained counselors and therapists, speak with your minister or spiritual leader, and/or talk to your doctor. There are also support groups, prayer circles, helplines, and other resources available to assist you. REACH OUT TO THEM.

Let me also point out that the thoughts you may have of questioning your worth and whether or not you should even exist is—if for no other reason—the bottom-line justification to GET OUT of ALL abusive situations.

If you find, though, that you can’t immediately leave until other pieces come together, such as finding a new job, then repeat the following Truth statements about you to yourself. Constantly repeat these in your mind. Constantly. I’m not kidding and it isn’t a dramatic overstatement when I implore you to keep repeating these statements non-stop to yourself.

The following statements have a spiritual bent to them but please don’t let that put you off. I find it to be very helpful to think that there is a Benevolent Being “out there” who has Goodness in mind for me.

Here are the Truths—feel free to tweak them so they are more meaningful to you:

 

I am a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars….I have a right to be here. Inspired by The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

 

God has anointed me. I am consecrated and I am holy. Inspired by Joel Osteen’s messages

 

I have good things, good people, good experiences in my life and they make me happy, in spite of what others—bullies—are trying to do to me. Inspired by the 23rd Psalm

 

God put deep loving thought into creating me and, when finished with me, God declared that I am Good. Inspired by Joel Osteen’s messages

 

I am sheltered. I am protected. Inspired by the 91st Psalm

 

God does not make junk, therefore, I am not junk. Inspired by spiritual books and materials I have studied.

 

God has a Purpose and a Reason for each and every creation, including me! Inspired by spiritual books and materials I have studied.

 

Remember these Truths about yourself. Keep repeating them in your mind. Non-stop. Let their wisdom seep into every cell and fiber of your being. Feel their strength and comfort.

I am with you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Start the Week Off Right: 7 Quotes

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These seven quotes are short and to the point. That means they’re easy to remember and easy to repeat to yourself often, especially when things aren’t going as planned.

 

Dear Stress, let’s break up. ~Anonymous

Take action. Any action taken—even the “wrong” action—is better than not taking even the tiniest of actions. ~Anonymous

Actually, I can. ~Anonymous

Do not compare yourself to others. ~Anonymous

Smile and be glad because this too shall pass! ~Anonymous

Loving kindness is the most powerful force in the Universe. ~Anonymous

When in doubt, go to the library. ~Anonymous

 

Have a wonderfully soul-prospering week!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Bullying: Taking Care of Yourself—24 Power Statements

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When you believe in yourself you believe in possibility. When you believe in possibility you believe in yourself. ~Dr. Joe Dispenza

 

Today we’re halfway through the week. Oftentimes we start the week out with a strong positive outlook but by midweek we might begin to lose our resolve. Here are a few statements to use to remind ourselves that we have what it takes to live a soul-prospering life, Use any or all of them frequently throughout today and the following days. Also, feel free to tweak them to better suit you and your circumstances.

 

I am capable

I am competent

I know what I’m doing

I am intelligent

I am dedicated

I am hard working

I am honest

I am honorable

I am a person of high integrity

I am kind

I am generous

I respect others

I am dependable

I am reliable

I am trustworthy

I am helpful

I am upbeat

I am ethical and have strong values and high morals

I am rock solid

I have a can-do attitude

I am persistent

I persevere

I find a way

I am crafting a wonderful soul-prospering life for myself

Choose the statements that resonate with you and repeat them often throughout your day.

I’m with you!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Workplace Bullying: Take Care of Yourself – Hidden Gems

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One way to take care of ourselves if we’re a victim of workplace bullying is to remember and know deep within ourselves that we are much, much more than the small piece of ourselves that the bully is targeting. This poem reminds us about the Hidden Gems within each of us.

 

HIDDEN GEMS

By Ella Wheeler Wilcox

We know not what lies in us, till we seek;
Men dive for pearls—they are not found on shore,
The hillsides most unpromising and bleak
Do sometimes hide the ore.

Go, dive in the vast ocean of thy mind,
O man! far down below the noisy waves,
Down in the depths and silence thou mayst find
Rare pearls and coral caves.

Sink thou a shaft into the mine of thought;
Be patient, like the seekers after gold;
Under the rocks and rubbish lieth what
May bring thee wealth untold.

Reflected from the vastly Infinite,
However dulled by earth, each human mind
Holds somewhere gems of beauty and of light
Which, seeking, thou shalt find.

 

I hope this helps you. Next week we’ll talk more about how to take care of ourselves while we are in a bullying situation and as we are searching for a new position.

We will get through this together. As beloved family members frequently counsel me, “This, too, shall pass.”

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Self Talk to Neutralize a Bully’s Statements About You

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We’re half way through the week and it can seem as if the weekend—and relief from the bullying at work—will never get here. I have put together a few self talk phrases that I have found helpful and I think they can help you as well. My intent behind them is neutralizing the guilt and shame you may feel that can result from being bullied.

Some of the phrases may have a spiritual bent to them. Please don’t let that put you off. Freely substitute words and concepts that resonate with you. Remember to repeat these, or the ones you craft for yourself, OFTEN. I can’t stress enough the importance of repeating uplifting messages ALL the time when you’re in a bullying situation.

I am innocent

I am anointed by and with Grace and Mercy

I am innocent

I am absolved

I am innocent

I am exonerated

I am innocent

All unjust and malicious accusations regarding me and all gossip about me have been expunged from my mind, my soul, and my spirit

I am innocent

My slate is wiped clean

I am innocent

I am blessed

I am innocent

Magic and Miracles abound in my life

I am innocent

As you can probably guess, I have found the phrase “I am innocent” to be particularly helpful. The bully wants you to believe that everything is your fault, that you are to blame. This is absolutely not true! While the bully is berating you try repeating to yourself the phrase “I am innocent”. Let me know how it works for you.

Good luck, I’m thinking of you. Feel free to share self talk statements that you find very helpful. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Bullying: Get Out

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Two weeks ago we talked about adult bullying and we’ll be continuing this discussion this week. In these posts, I’m referring to bullying that takes place in the work environment.

First of all, though, before being too quick to label a boss or co-worker as a bully, take time to think it through. Some bosses are tough and demanding but they are fair—they don’t belittle or humiliate colleagues or subordinates. Also, colleagues and bosses may have prickly personalities or serious, no-nonsense attitudes but that doesn’t make them bullies. Additionally, co-workers may be going through a difficult time in their personal life and that may make them snippy. Keep this in mind as you think through your interactions with the person(s) in question before jumping to conclusions about them.

When you are dealing with a bully, the most important thing to keep in mind is to get out. You are never going to change them, convince them of your worth and/or your expertise, and over time you will not be able to withstand their onslaught.

There are two ways to get out:

~You or the bully can be transferred to another department or division within the company;

~You or the bully can leave the company.

Perhaps you work in a large enough organization that has a separate HR department and perhaps your company has clear policies regarding bullying and other behaviors that can create a hostile work environment. And perhaps the HR department actually has some backbone and will take appropriate and effective action when complaints are brought to them.

I wouldn’t count on this, though.

I have heard a number of instances where the HR department as well as the higher-ups and executives are well aware that bullying is going on but they ignore it—they don’t do anything about it. And then they scratch their heads and wonder why morale is so bad and why the good people are leaving in droves….

My recommendation is to leave the company. You may like many of your co-workers and you may enjoy the work you’re doing, however, the toll to your career, your self esteem, your mental well-being, and your physical health is not worth it. As I said earlier, you will never convince the bully to change their behavior toward you. No matter how many awards or how much recognition you receive, they will never think well of you. They will only re-double their efforts to tear you down.

You must leave.

You may be thinking that it’s fine and dandy for me to recommend that you leave the company, however, your financial situation requires that you stay employed. Then what do you do?

We’ll be talking about this in upcoming posts. Check back next week.

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Crafting a soul-prospering life.