When we’re in a difficult situation, such as being targeted by the bully in the workplace, oftentimes we have trouble remembering—and believing—the Truth about ourselves. Being in these circumstances can cause us to doubt our capabilities and our competencies to perform even the simplest, most basic of tasks. Our minds can become scattered and our ability to focus can be hampered. We can’t and we don’t think straight about ourselves.
Worst of all, we might question our worth as an individual. In extreme circumstances, we may even question our existence—whether or not we should even be on Earth.
First of all, if you are thinking these kinds of thoughts, GET HELP. Reach out to trained counselors and therapists, speak with your minister or spiritual leader, and/or talk to your doctor. There are also support groups, prayer circles, helplines, and other resources available to assist you. REACH OUT TO THEM.
Let me also point out that the thoughts you may have of questioning your worth and whether or not you should even exist is—if for no other reason—the bottom-line justification to GET OUT of ALL abusive situations.
If you find, though, that you can’t immediately leave until other pieces come together, such as finding a new job, then repeat the following Truth statements about you to yourself. Constantly repeat these in your mind. Constantly. I’m not kidding and it isn’t a dramatic overstatement when I implore you to keep repeating these statements non-stop to yourself.
The following statements have a spiritual bent to them but please don’t let that put you off. I find it to be very helpful to think that there is a Benevolent Being “out there” who has Goodness in mind for me.
Here are the Truths—feel free to tweak them so they are more meaningful to you:
I am a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars….I have a right to be here. Inspired by The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
God has anointed me. I am consecrated and I am holy. Inspired by Joel Osteen’s messages
I have good things, good people, good experiences in my life and they make me happy, in spite of what others—bullies—are trying to do to me. Inspired by the 23rd Psalm
God put deep loving thought into creating me and, when finished with me, God declared that I am Good. Inspired by Joel Osteen’s messages
I am sheltered. I am protected. Inspired by the 91st Psalm
God does not make junk, therefore, I am not junk. Inspired by spiritual books and materials I have studied.
God has a Purpose and a Reason for each and every creation, including me! Inspired by spiritual books and materials I have studied.
Remember these Truths about yourself. Keep repeating them in your mind. Non-stop. Let their wisdom seep into every cell and fiber of your being. Feel their strength and comfort.
When you believe in yourself you believe in possibility. When you believe in possibility you believe in yourself. ~Dr. Joe Dispenza
Today we’re halfway through the week. Oftentimes we start the week out with a strong positive outlook but by midweek we might begin to lose our resolve. Here are a few statements to use to remind ourselves that we have what it takes to live a soul-prospering life, Use any or all of them frequently throughout today and the following days. Also, feel free to tweak them to better suit you and your circumstances.
I am capable
I am competent
I know what I’m doing
I am intelligent
I am dedicated
I am hard working
I am honest
I am honorable
I am a person of high integrity
I am kind
I am generous
I respect others
I am dependable
I am reliable
I am trustworthy
I am helpful
I am upbeat
I am ethical and have strong values and high morals
I am rock solid
I have a can-do attitude
I am persistent
I find a way
I am crafting a wonderful soul-prospering life for myself
Choose the statements that resonate with you and repeat them often throughout your day.
We’re half way through the week and it can seem as if the weekend—and relief from the bullying at work—will never get here. I have put together a few self talk phrases that I have found helpful and I think they can help you as well. My intent behind them is neutralizing the guilt and shame you may feel that can result from being bullied.
Some of the phrases may have a spiritual bent to them. Please don’t let that put you off. Freely substitute words and concepts that resonate with you. Remember to repeat these, or the ones you craft for yourself, OFTEN. I can’t stress enough the importance of repeating uplifting messages ALL the time when you’re in a bullying situation.
I am innocent
I am anointed by and with Grace and Mercy
I am innocent
I am absolved
I am innocent
I am exonerated
I am innocent
All unjust and malicious accusations regarding me and all gossip about me have been expunged from my mind, my soul, and my spirit
I am innocent
My slate is wiped clean
I am innocent
I am blessed
I am innocent
Magic and Miracles abound in my life
I am innocent
As you can probably guess, I have found the phrase “I am innocent” to be particularly helpful. The bully wants you to believe that everything is your fault, that you are to blame. This is absolutely not true! While the bully is berating you try repeating to yourself the phrase “I am innocent”. Let me know how it works for you.
Good luck, I’m thinking of you. Feel free to share self talk statements that you find very helpful. Thanks!
Two weeks ago we talked about adult bullying and we’ll be continuing this discussion this week. In these posts, I’m referring to bullying that takes place in the work environment.
First of all, though, before being too quick to label a boss or co-worker as a bully, take time to think it through. Some bosses are tough and demanding but they are fair—they don’t belittle or humiliate colleagues or subordinates. Also, colleagues and bosses may have prickly personalities or serious, no-nonsense attitudes but that doesn’t make them bullies. Additionally, co-workers may be going through a difficult time in their personal life and that may make them snippy. Keep this in mind as you think through your interactions with the person(s) in question before jumping to conclusions about them.
When you are dealing with a bully, the most important thing to keep in mind is to get out. You are never going to change them, convince them of your worth and/or your expertise, and over time you will not be able to withstand their onslaught.
There are two ways to get out:
~You or the bully can be transferred to another department or division within the company;
~You or the bully can leave the company.
Perhaps you work in a large enough organization that has a separate HR department and perhaps your company has clear policies regarding bullying and other behaviors that can create a hostile work environment. And perhaps the HR department actually has some backbone and will take appropriate and effective action when complaints are brought to them.
I wouldn’t count on this, though.
I have heard a number of instances where the HR department as well as the higher-ups and executives are well aware that bullying is going on but they ignore it—they don’t do anything about it. And then they scratch their heads and wonder why morale is so bad and why the good people are leaving in droves….
My recommendation is to leave the company. You may like many of your co-workers and you may enjoy the work you’re doing, however, the toll to your career, your self esteem, your mental well-being, and your physical health is not worth it. As I said earlier, you will never convince the bully to change their behavior toward you. No matter how many awards or how much recognition you receive, they will never think well of you. They will only re-double their efforts to tear you down.
You must leave.
You may be thinking that it’s fine and dandy for me to recommend that you leave the company, however, your financial situation requires that you stay employed. Then what do you do?
We’ll be talking about this in upcoming posts. Check back next week.
I believe each one of us is on this Earth for a specific reason and that reason is to live a soul-prospering life. When we do this, we’re contributing our unique combination of gifts, abilities, and talents to the overarching goal of creating a better world. In the process, we get to live a deeply satisfying and fulfilling life that matters profoundly.
With this in mind, I’d like to share what I’m doing to live my soul-prospering life. Since I’m the author of this blog, I’m sure it comes as no surprise that I like to write. Here is a flash fiction story that I wrote this summer. Flash fiction is a short story of 500 words or less, although some people say the upper limit is 1000 words.
A special treat for you is that this story is part of a blog hop. At the end you’ll see links to others’ flash fiction stories. This is my first time participating and I’m very excited about it.
My story is 493 words and is called Black Moon. I hope you enjoy it-enjoy the other stories as well!
Mama turned from the front window of our snug cottage hidden in the dark woods. Even though the lights were out, the star glow was enough to show me her worried face. “A Black Moon on All Hallow’s Eve. I thought surely you’d– ”
“What, Mama? Whatever it is, I’ll do it.” I didn’t know what was upsetting her but I wanted to make her smile. “It’s still my birthday. We can be happy about that, right?”
“Of course, my love! The second New Moon in a month combined with your thirteenth birthday on All Hallow’s Eve. A very special night, indeed.” Mama hugged me, her fuzzy sweater tickling my nose.
Rustling in the woods drew her to the window.
Oh! A sharp twinge in my hips. I waited for pain but it didn’t come. Instead, it felt…natural.
A sudden rush of raw power from Mother Earth coursed through me from my feet to my head. What was going on?
Rather than fear, giddiness filled me. I bounded to Mama and threw my arms around her. “I lovelovelove the night!”
Mama laughed. “That’s because you’re a vampire.” She growled, pretending to nibble my neck.
“No, Mama.” I giggled. “Then I couldn’t eat your yummy meatloaf, so full of garlic.”
“Hmmm, true.” Mama pretended to think. “I know! You’re really a pixie or a wood sprite, and you fly like the wind.”
“Nope, not it.” I moved from her embrace and rolled my shoulders to ease the cramping. “Flying isn’t the only way to race like the wind.”
“Then you’re a zombie.” She lumbered toward me, arms outstretched.
I shrieked. “No, Mama!” The bones in my feet crackled as I dashed away from her.
“Then you’re a fairy or maybe an elf.”
“They’re too small and scrawny and won’t make decent toothpicks much less tasty tidbits.”
“Well then, that leaves one thing. You’re a–”
Yips and barks close to our cottage.
“Oh no!” She let out a cry of fear.
My gaze sharpened on her. She looked delicate as she backed away from the window.
A howl echoed on the still night air. My pulse quickened. My bones ached, muscles throbbed. It felt so good! I stretched in anticipation.
She blindly reached back for me. “Hide! Wolves!”
Yes Mama, yes. That’s it!
I snapped my jaws now filled with gleaming teeth. I crept toward her, reveling in the power of my new form.
She saw me. Surprise on her face.
I inhaled. Ahhh, the sharp tang of fear. My mouth watered. I moved in.
A hard thump at the door followed by a rumbling growl that shook my bones. I stopped, crouched. Uncertain.
She dropped to her knees, relief flooding her face. Now on her hands, too. Broadening, elongating.
Now I was surprised.
She padded to me, her claws clicking on the hardwood floor. “Welcome, Pup!” She nuzzled me, her soft fur tickling my nose. “Come, meet your true family.”
Happy Halloween, my dear Pep Pals! Feel free to share in the comments what you do that’s soul-prospering. Thanks!
Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Here are the links to the other stories in this blog hop. Have fun reading!
Most of us don’t have the luxury of devoting 24/7/365 to pursuing our passions and living our purpose. Many of us still have obligations and responsibilities to fulfill. That requires us to work with other people and, unfortunately, some of them are very prickly.
This week, I’ll share with you pep talks that can be used for most situations, although the inspiration for these came from others’, as well as my own, challenges at work because of a difficult co-worker.
I hope the following pep talk can help you when you find yourself confronted by someone who makes you second guess yourself.
No matter what others say about me or do to me, and no matter how difficult the day may be, I allow myself to remember and believe that I am capable, I am competent, and I do have what it takes to live my life so that I am pleased.
I also allow myself to remember and believe that although my progress may be slow, I am crafting a soul-prospering life.
Thank you, Source, for your power, your protection, your provision, and your peace today.
Notice the “I allow myself…” statements. I have discovered that oftentimes when we’re confronted by someone with a very strong personality, we subconsciously might think that we don’t have the right to think positive and supporting thoughts about ourselves.
Ridiculous! We know the truth about ourselves and we can remind ourselves of our truth when someone is trying to get us to think their way about ourselves.
No way! Not happening!
Repeat frequently throughout the day: I know the truth about me and I’m allowed to think it!!