Yesterday would have been the 92nd birthday of a person who has touched my life profoundly. Even though he is no longer with us, his wisdom and the way he lived his life is still teaching me today.
I am grateful that he lived and that I was privileged to know him. I am thankful for the guidance and inspiration I continue to draw from him.
Today, please join me in celebrating the people who are an inspiration to us, whether they are still here or have passed on. It isn’t about whether or not they were perfect but how they and their lives provide loving guidance to us.
When someone mentions the word “bullying”, we think of the schoolyard, assuming that bullying is a problem only children face. We believe that when kids grow into adulthood, they drop their childish ways: We think they’ll become more understanding and compassionate, that they’ll develop mastery over their emotions, that they’ll learn to be helpful to others, and that they’ll strive to become the best version of themselves. This is the course we’ve followed and we figure that everyone else will, too.
But they don’t.
Some adult bullies carry their bullying ways from childhood into adulthood. Others were nice as youngsters but something happened along their pathway to adulthood that turned them into bullies.
The point is that bullying is not a problem just for children. We adults can—and do—face it every day, too. We can encounter adult bullies in a variety of settings such as clubs and organizations, churches, neighborhoods, within our group of friends, and at work.
We don’t foresee this, which is why it’s so shocking when we run up against it. We expect adults to behave like, well, adults. We don’t anticipate that they’ll humiliate, belittle, or sabotage us or that we’ll see them do this to others. When we experience bullying directly or indirectly (witnessing another being bullied), we’re left bewildered, stunned, and wondering if what we just experienced/witnessed really did happen.
One of the most important parts of the day is the early morning hours when we first awaken. How we use those minutes sets the tone and the pace for the day. Successful people as well as experts in the Personal Development field encourage us to start with something positive and uplifting.
Here is a Pep Rally to help us get off on the right foot each day. Thee best way to use these statements is to stand tall in front of a mirror, smile brightly, and say these with as much enthusiasm as possible:
I am in charge!
I am in charge of myself
I am in charge of my life
I am in charge of my present moment
I am in charge of my future
I am in charge of what I think about
I am in charge of what I believe about myself
II am in charge of what I believe about my dreams
I am in charge of my capabilities, skills, and abilities
I am in charge of my competency, intelligence, common sense, and street smarts
I am in charge of saying yes
I am in charge of saying no
I am in charge of my emotions and feelings
I am in charge of how I interpret each situation
I am in charge of looking for the good, the benefit, the catapult moving me forward in all situations
I am in charge of taking action, taking baby steps, of moving forward
I am in charge of getting it done
I am in charge of just doing it
I am in charge of my moods and temperament
I am in charge of taking one more step
I am in charge of the cards that Life has dealt me
I am in charge of whether an event, a situation–or what another has or hasn’t done to me or for me–whether it makes me or breaks me
I am in charge of what I do and what I do not
I am in charge of my doubts
I am in charge of my fears
I am in charge of my worries
I am in charge of my sadness
I am in charge of my anger
I am in charge of my disappointment
I am in charge of my frustration and annoyance
I am in charge of my despondency and depression
I am in charge of my anxieties and panicks
I am in charge of my body
I am in charge of my mind
I am in charge of my soul
I am in charge of my spirituality
I am in charge of how I respond to others
I am in charge of how I respond to situations
I am in charge of how I respond to events
I am in charge of how I respond to getting the short end of the stick
I am in charge of my freedom
I am in charge of my thoughts
I am in charge of my dreams
I am in charge!
If any of these statements resonate with you, jot them down and keep them handy. Say them often to yourself through out thee day.
We all have cherished memories of wonderful times in the past, and we also can remember times that weren’t so great. It’s okay to think of these every once in a while, but to dwell in the past…not such a good strategy.
As the poem below points out, living in the present moment and looking ahead to the bright promise of the future is a great way to begin again.
The New Days
The old days, the old days, how oft the poets sing,
The days of hope at dewy morn, the days of early spring,
The days when every mead was fair, and every heart was true,
And every maiden wore a smile, and every sky was blue
The days when dreams were golden and every night brought rest,
The old, old days of youth and love, the days they say were best
But I—I sing the new days, the days that lie before,
The days of hope and fancy, the days that I adore.
The new days, the new days, the selfsame days they are;
The selfsame sunshine heralds them, the selfsame evening star
Shines out to light them on their way unto the Bygone Land,
And with the selfsame arch of blue the world to-day is spanned.
The new days, the new days, when friends are just as true,
And maidens smile upon us all, the way they used to do,
Dreams we know are golden dreams, hope springs in every breast;
It cheers us in the dewy morn and soothes us when we rest.
The new days, the new days, of them I want to sing,
The new days with the fancies and the golden dreams they bring;
The old days had their pleasures, but likewise have the new
The gardens with their roses and the meadows bright with dew;
We love to-day the selfsame way they loved in days of old;
The world is bathed in beauty and it isn’t growing cold;
There’s joy for us a-plenty, there are tasks for us to do,
And life is worth the living, for the friends we know are true.
As a follow-up to yesterday’s post encouraging us to hang in there when the inevitable challenges show up, below are a few techniques that might help us.
Talk to a friend or loved one who can be counted on to be positive, encouraging, and supportive.
If we don’t have anyone in our life like this right now, then we can go to YouTube and listen to the many, many motivational and inspirational messages posted there.
Have a small victory–a large one is good, too!
We can do an easy task, for instance, cleaning out and straightening the junk drawer in the kitchen. Having a small victory can go a long way toward helping us gain perspective on our circumstances.
Perhaps there’s a colleague or a neighbor that is struggling. Reach out a helping hand. This can help us get out of our own way and can help us see that we aren’t the only one with problems and difficulties.
If nothing else, we can share our smile with passersby and hold the door open for the people coming behind us.
Be gentle and kind.
While we might be tempted to find fault with ourselves, this is counter-productive. This only adds to the bad feelings we may be experiencing.
Instead realize that we did our best with the information and skills we had at the time. It’s fine to note the places where we might improve or use a different tactic next time, but to dwell on it doesn’t help.
Kindness and gentleness–which is NOT the same as letting ourselves off the hook–are what are needed now. These can go a long way toward soothing and calming us so that we can think and then take action. Clear thinking and taking action are the two most important things we can do.
The next moment is fresh and new and ready for us to begin again.
The next moment is full of potential. We can choose right here and right now to make a fresh start. No matter what has or has not happened in the past, we can begin anew now.