Tag Archives: ideas

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Make-up_mirror.jpg

 

I am a member of Toastmasters and this past weekend I attended a Toastmasters Conference for my District. As an aside, I was unable to publish my posts using my phone, which is why it’s been a few days since you’ve received anything from me!

The conference was beneficial on several levels. The biggest take-away for me was hearing the techniques people have come up with to encourage and motivate themselves to keep taking the next step toward their dreams.

One technique in particular stood out to me. The young man who spoke about it was from India and he was very bold in stating that the reason he came to the United States was to become rich. He was dynamic and enthusiastic and I believed that one day soon we’ll see him on the cover of Time or Forbes!

The way he motivated himself to stay on track toward his dreams was to stand in front of his mirror every morning and ask himself “If I knew today would be my last day on Earth, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?”

He said that at first he would answer that question with a resounding “No!”. Every day, though, he would make little changes in his routines and one day he was able to answer “Yes!”. He continues to ask himself that question every day.   He says opportunities have opened to him that he never imagined.

I encourage us all to follow his example and do what we can each day so that we can answer YES!! to the question “If today were my last day on Earth, would I want to do what I’m about to do today”

You CAN do it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Advertisements

Books: I’ve Been Thinking by Maria Shriver

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=19743&picture=love-of-books

 

I’m still reading Maria Shriver’s new book entitled I’ve Been Thinking. I shared a quote from it with you a few weeks ago.

Perhaps you’re like me and when you think of people who are famous and accomplished have it all together.   They know where they’re going; they’re always confident; they never feel lost or sad or worried….

Maria is a real person and she freely shares this in her new book. I like that she does this because I can see that in more ways than I thought, Maria Shriver is just like me.

Sometimes she’s nervous, and even scared, when she’s trying something new–me, too! At times, she’s reluctant to let go of her children and step into the next phase of her own life–me, too! She’s doing it anyway, one little step at a time, and discovering a fresh new world out there that still needs her gifts, ideas, and her compassion. I’m discovering the same thing!

In the book, Maria also shares how her perceptions and assumptions have changed over time and how she’s becoming a deeper, richer person. I’m finding that, too. As I get out of my comfort zone, I’m meeting fascinating people with interesting ideas and experiences, and this is opening my mind, my heart, and my soul in ways I never imagined.

Stop by your local library and check out Maria’s book. I’m interested to hear what you think of it. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Success by Edgar A. Guest

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Brillanten.jpg

 

 

Success

by Edgar A. Guest

 

I hold no dream of fortune vast,

           Nor seek undying fame.

         I do not ask when life is past

           That many know my name.

 

         I may not own the skill to rise

           To glory’s topmost height,

         Nor win a place among the wise,

           But I can keep the right.

 

         And I can live my life on earth

           Contented to the end,

         If but a few shall know my worth

           And proudly call me friend.

 

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Things to Think About This Week: Others’ Lives Seem Perfect…Or Are They?

 

 

Marie Shriver has a new book out entitled I’ve Been Thinking…. I just started reading it and what I’ve read is wonderful.

I came across the following bit that I thought was excellent to keep in mind:

 

…Because, let’s face it: Life is one hell of a roller coaster ride. At times we feel totally in charge of the journey and love the ride. At other times we feel completely overwhelmed and want to get off. Throught out our lives, we’re by turns strong, then weak. We’re quite sure we know what we’re doing, and then we’re utterly and totally lost. We feel elated, and then depressed. We act powerfully, then feel like victims.   We’re buoyed by courage, then scared out of our wits. We feel a part of a community, and then we feel totally alone. We take pride In our accomplishments, then want to crumble with shame over our mistakes…

 

With that paragraph, Marie Shriver sums up all of Life’s experiences for each one of us. It’s comforting to know that we “common folk” aren’t the only ones tossed about by Life; the achievers, the successes, are just as thrown about as we are!

The next time you want to envy someone who seems to have a better job, more money, or a better family, remember Maria Shriver’s wise observations, not to take them down a peg but rather to understand that we are all equals on our journey here on Earth..

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Thinks to Think About This Week: The 5th Tiny Baby Step: Celebrate!

Copyright 2014 Artisans Workshop Designs

 

Yesterday I shared with you the 4 steps I take when I’m in the throes of anxiety and it’s compatriots.   Today we’ll talk about the 5th, perhaps most important, step: Celebrating yourself.

When using the tips mentioned in yesterday’s post, give yourself credit for every little bit you do.   Acknowledge it; own it. What you do doesn’t have to be perfect, especially when you’re working through difficult feelings. Pat yourself on the back for the small actions that you’re taking.

Reward yourself.   More importantly, feel the warm glow you get inside when you acknowledge yourself for trying, and for doing, the best you can. It’s really important to focus on what it feels like to feel good about yourself. This is how you build self-respect and self-appreciation.   These glowing feelings go a long way toward healing that part of you that gets anxious or fearful or that feels worthless from time-to-time.

What do you do to appreciate yourself and the efforts you’re making (no matter how small and how imperfect)? I like to read a book of fiction.  🙂

You’re awesome!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Things to Think About This Week: 4 Tiny Baby Steps to Handle Anxiety and Fear and Worthlessness

https://pixabay.com/en/baby-baby-model-beautiful-black-1851360/

 

 

This week we’ve been talking about anxiety, fear, and worthlessness. From time-to-time, we’re all stunned by one or a combination of these feelings. When they hit, they cause us to slow down and even stop.

And stay stopped.

Staying stopped is another way of saying that we’re stuck.

Researchers, experts, and those who have Been-There-Done-That will tell you that the quickest and surest antidote to fear and anxiety and worthlessness is to take action.

Here are the tiny baby steps I take when I’m in the throes of anxiety, fear, and feelings of worthlessness:

First, I sit quietly for a few moments and reflect.

I take the time to tune into myself. I ask where these feelings of anxiety/fear/worthlessness are coming from.   What happened to trigger these?   I listen and jot down–WITHOUT JUDGMENT–the answers I get.

Then, I ask myself what can I do about this right here and right now. Again I listen and jot down the answers I get–without judgment.   There may be a few “I should do this or that…” and that’s fine; I jot those down, too.

After I gather the answers, I ask myself what is doable right here where I am in this moment.   What I’m looking for is a little piece–a toe or finger hold–that I can grab onto and start working on. I look for the little bit that isn’t too big or overwhelming and doesn’t require a ton of anything from me right now.

Sometimes I find that even the little toe or finger hold is too much to face right at this moment.

Yikes! If this happens, does it mean we’re doomed?   NO! Read on to the second thing I do!

Secondly, I start to do something, anything.

Perhaps I know what the toe hold activity is, but it’s too much for me to do right at this moment.   In that case, I look for something easy to do or something I enjoy doing.   For instance, on sunny days I love to do laundry and hang the items outside to dry. If I’m at work, I might choose something easy like clearing and straightening my desk or my files.

Once I’m going the task that I’ve chosen that’s easy or enjoyable, I gather the momentum and slingshot myself over to the toe or finger hold activity.

If I find that I can’t quite do the finger hold task yet, I go back and do a fun or easy task. I repeat this as often as I need to so that I have enough momentum–in the form of feeling a little more sure of my ability to handle the finger hold task–to slingshot myself to it.

Third, I keep in mind to be kind and gentle to myself.

I do little treats for myself throughout the day. For instance, at work I’ll take a break for a few moments and gaze out the window or make a cup of tea for myself. At home, I’ll set the timer for 10 or 15 minutes and read in a fun book.

Another think I’ll do is cook myself one of my favorite comfort foods, even if it’s eating a breakfast meal at dinnertime or making miso soup with fresh vegetables for myself at breakfast instead of saving it for lunch.

Which leads me to…

Making sure I eat nutritious food, drink enough water, and get rest and sleep.

Often I find that I’m more susceptible to anxiety and fear and feelings of worthlessness when I’ve been grabbing convenience foods and skimping on my sleep. When I’m well hydrated, eating good food, and getting a reasonable amount of rest and sleep, I am less likely to allow things to bother me, I’m more resilient, and when something does get to me, I can bounce back quickly.

 

I hope these four baby steps can help you the next time anxiety, fear, and worthlessness knock you off your stride.

Do you have techniques that I haven’t mentioned here? If so, feel free to share them with us. Thanks!

Be sure to check back tomorrow for the final and most important step!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Things to Think About This Week: Feelings of Worthlessness

https://pixabay.com/en/lighthouse-night-light-bill-sky-66943/

 

We talked yesterday about ‘what ifs’ and that they are negative more often than they’re positive.   We challenged ourselves to think of the positive ‘what ifs’ whenever a negative one pops into our mind.

There are times, though, when we are hit really hard by Life and we just can’t seem to turn those ‘what ifs’ around. In fact, we might be so discouraged that we begin to wonder about our worth in the world–and wonder if we have any worth at all.

I’ve had times like this–we’ve all had times like this. When we’re in the midst of these thoughts it can seem like they’re the truth about us and there’s nothing we can do about it.

NOT TRUE!

Here is an article I came across that had excellent suggestions about how to help ourselves out of this thought pattern:

How to Go from Feeling Worthless to Feeling Worthy by Luminita D. Saviuc 

 

Please note:   if feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness persist, please seek assistance from professionals trained to help in these circumstances. Please call a health care professional, a therapist or counselor, or your spiritual leader. Please reach out for help!  

 

Each of the suggestions outlined in the article are powerful:

~Don’t expect the world to validate your worth.

There is always going to be someone who–by the world’s standards–is “better than” us.   First of all, it’s a big wide world and there’s plenty of room for everyone’s talents and gifts, plus there’s plenty of room for everyone to live a soul-prospering life.

Secondly, people can’t really be compared fully to one another, even when performing the same skill, because each of us has our own unique perspective on it and our own original mark to the way we do it.

Although this is easier said than done: don’t compare yourself to others!

 

~You will never find your worth outside of you.

Yep, the world is a fickle place. What’s popular and hot one moment is kicked to the curb in the next moment. If you try to mold yourself to please the world, you’ll wind up a knotted mess that’s pretzeled into a shape that you don’t recognize.

Keep your focus on your own heart and soul and sharing their gifts with the world.

 

~Be careful who you spend your time with.

Frenemies. Yes, there may be one or two within your circle of friends. Be aware of who drains your energy and who, even though they say they’re being supportive, find clever and subtle ways to tear you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

When you discover these people, either eliminate them from your life or keep your distance from them.

 

~Don’t believe everything you think.

You’ve been wrong before–you may not want to admit it, but it’s true. Therefore, you could very well be wrong about your feelings of worthlessness and that there’s no hope for you.

I guarantee you that you are valuable and needed in this world and that there is hope.   Hang in there and keep moving forward, even if it’s in slow tiny bits of steps.

 

~If you’re feeling worthless, disconnect in order to reconnect.

This is so true. Get off of Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and the like. Stop watching the news.   Turn off the stupid sitcoms and reality shows!

Pick up a good book, read something uplifting, connect with someone who makes you feel better about yourself!

 

~Tell yourself what you want to hear from others.

Give yourself a pep talk.   Also search the posts here at YesICanPepTalks.com and I guarantee you’ll find at least one post that will lift your spirits!

 

~Be kind and gentle with yourself.

When you’re feeling bad, the last thing you need is to come down like a ton of bricks on yourself.   Give yourself loving-kindness: Take a hot bath, treat yourself to your favorite home cooked meal, read a favorite book, talk to someone who cares about you, take a walk in Nature, play with your pets, play with your kids….

 

Do you have other techniques you use? Please share them with us in the comments below. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren