Tag Archives: New Beginnings

Workplace Bullying: Take Care of Yourself – Hidden Gems

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One way to take care of ourselves if we’re a victim of workplace bullying is to remember and know deep within ourselves that we are much, much more than the small piece of ourselves that the bully is targeting. This poem reminds us about the Hidden Gems within each of us.

 

HIDDEN GEMS

By Ella Wheeler Wilcox

We know not what lies in us, till we seek;
Men dive for pearls—they are not found on shore,
The hillsides most unpromising and bleak
Do sometimes hide the ore.

Go, dive in the vast ocean of thy mind,
O man! far down below the noisy waves,
Down in the depths and silence thou mayst find
Rare pearls and coral caves.

Sink thou a shaft into the mine of thought;
Be patient, like the seekers after gold;
Under the rocks and rubbish lieth what
May bring thee wealth untold.

Reflected from the vastly Infinite,
However dulled by earth, each human mind
Holds somewhere gems of beauty and of light
Which, seeking, thou shalt find.

 

I hope this helps you. Next week we’ll talk more about how to take care of ourselves while we are in a bullying situation and as we are searching for a new position.

We will get through this together. As beloved family members frequently counsel me, “This, too, shall pass.”

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

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Self Talk to Neutralize a Bully’s Statements About You

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We’re half way through the week and it can seem as if the weekend—and relief from the bullying at work—will never get here. I have put together a few self talk phrases that I have found helpful and I think they can help you as well. My intent behind them is neutralizing the guilt and shame you may feel that can result from being bullied.

Some of the phrases may have a spiritual bent to them. Please don’t let that put you off. Freely substitute words and concepts that resonate with you. Remember to repeat these, or the ones you craft for yourself, OFTEN. I can’t stress enough the importance of repeating uplifting messages ALL the time when you’re in a bullying situation.

I am innocent

I am anointed by and with Grace and Mercy

I am innocent

I am absolved

I am innocent

I am exonerated

I am innocent

All unjust and malicious accusations regarding me and all gossip about me have been expunged from my mind, my soul, and my spirit

I am innocent

My slate is wiped clean

I am innocent

I am blessed

I am innocent

Magic and Miracles abound in my life

I am innocent

As you can probably guess, I have found the phrase “I am innocent” to be particularly helpful. The bully wants you to believe that everything is your fault, that you are to blame. This is absolutely not true! While the bully is berating you try repeating to yourself the phrase “I am innocent”. Let me know how it works for you.

Good luck, I’m thinking of you. Feel free to share self talk statements that you find very helpful. Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Bullying: Get Out

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Two weeks ago we talked about adult bullying and we’ll be continuing this discussion this week. In these posts, I’m referring to bullying that takes place in the work environment.

First of all, though, before being too quick to label a boss or co-worker as a bully, take time to think it through. Some bosses are tough and demanding but they are fair—they don’t belittle or humiliate colleagues or subordinates. Also, colleagues and bosses may have prickly personalities or serious, no-nonsense attitudes but that doesn’t make them bullies. Additionally, co-workers may be going through a difficult time in their personal life and that may make them snippy. Keep this in mind as you think through your interactions with the person(s) in question before jumping to conclusions about them.

When you are dealing with a bully, the most important thing to keep in mind is to get out. You are never going to change them, convince them of your worth and/or your expertise, and over time you will not be able to withstand their onslaught.

There are two ways to get out:

~You or the bully can be transferred to another department or division within the company;

~You or the bully can leave the company.

Perhaps you work in a large enough organization that has a separate HR department and perhaps your company has clear policies regarding bullying and other behaviors that can create a hostile work environment. And perhaps the HR department actually has some backbone and will take appropriate and effective action when complaints are brought to them.

I wouldn’t count on this, though.

I have heard a number of instances where the HR department as well as the higher-ups and executives are well aware that bullying is going on but they ignore it—they don’t do anything about it. And then they scratch their heads and wonder why morale is so bad and why the good people are leaving in droves….

My recommendation is to leave the company. You may like many of your co-workers and you may enjoy the work you’re doing, however, the toll to your career, your self esteem, your mental well-being, and your physical health is not worth it. As I said earlier, you will never convince the bully to change their behavior toward you. No matter how many awards or how much recognition you receive, they will never think well of you. They will only re-double their efforts to tear you down.

You must leave.

You may be thinking that it’s fine and dandy for me to recommend that you leave the company, however, your financial situation requires that you stay employed. Then what do you do?

We’ll be talking about this in upcoming posts. Check back next week.

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Best Wishes for 2019!

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Together, we are going to make a wonderful 2019 for ourselves because together we’re going to create soul-prospering lives.

I haven’t posted much in the last half of 2018. Even though I wasn’t posting, I was thinking of you and wishing you Peace and Goodness.

As I said, the second half of 2018 was difficult due to challenges that have forced me to reach deeper into myself. I continue to wrestle with these challenges—no, they didn’t automatically disappear at 12:00:01 AM on January 1, 2019 (darn!) (Haha!). Because of these, I have gained information and knowledge that is very helpful to me and I think it can help you, too. While it’s been good overall, holy moly it has been difficult and painful!!!

I hesitate to tell you that it’s been difficult and painful, however, it seems that’s the way growth and development goes. While we can learn techniques and have tools and information to work with during difficulties, it isn’t until obstacles, setbacks, and heartbreaks show up that we get to take our knowledge and tools out for a spin—just like we do with a car.

During the challenging times, we get to take everything we’ve learned and that we know and kick the tires on it. We see how quickly they respond in the sharp curves and steep hills, and how they perform when the conditions are icy and snowy, or in a hard steady rain when there’s flooding all around.

We’ll talk more about this in upcoming posts. I’ll share my experiences and what I’ve learned from them and I look forward to hearing about what you’ve experienced and learned.

While I’d love to get back to my schedule of daily posts, I know it’s unrealistic. For right now, I plan to post once a week on Mondays. Let’s help each other start the week off on a positive note!

With that in mind, here are positive truths for us to embrace this week. Join me in saying the following:

I am a Child of the Universe; I have a right to be here.

I am a valuable part of the world.

I am talented, gifted, and skilled, and what I offer is needed in the world.

I am kind.

I am generous.

I am positive.

I am ready for all the Magic, Miracles, and Majesty that is mine in 2019!

Happy New Year!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Pep Rally: I Am!

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Start your day right with these statements:

 

I am capable

 

I am competent

 

I am intelligent and I have the common sense, and street smarts to figure it out

 

I am fully loaded with gifts and talents and latent abilities

 

I have what it takes to create a soul-prospering life for myself

 

I am tough in my own way and style

 

I am strong and I hang in there even when the going gets rocky

 

I am proud of myself for the baby steps I’m taking to craft my soul-prospering life

 

I am a child of the Universe

 

I am excited about my future

 

I am excited about today

 

I am happy to be me

 

I am lucky to be me!

 

Say these statements to yourself as you stand tall in front of the mirror smiling at yourself. Chose two or three statements to keep handy and repeat to yourself throughout your day.

You can do it!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Pep Rally: I Am in Charge!

 

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One of the most important parts of the day is the early morning hours when we first awaken. How we use those minutes sets the tone and the pace for the day. Successful people as well as experts in the Personal Development field encourage us to start with something positive and uplifting.

Here is a Pep Rally to help us get off on the right foot each day. Thee best way to use these statements is to stand tall in front of a mirror, smile brightly, and say these with as much enthusiasm as possible:

 

I am in charge!

 

I am in charge of myself

 

I am in charge of my life

 

I am in charge of my present moment

 

I am in charge of my future

 

I am in charge of what I think about

 

I am in charge of what I believe about myself

 

II am in charge of what I believe about my dreams

 

I am in charge of my capabilities, skills, and abilities

 

I am in charge of my competency, intelligence, common sense, and street smarts

 

I am in charge of saying yes

 

I am in charge of saying no

 

I am in charge of my emotions and feelings

 

I am in charge of how I interpret each situation

 

I am in charge of looking for the good, the benefit, the catapult moving me forward in all situations

 

I am in charge of taking action, taking baby steps, of moving forward

 

I am in charge of getting it done

 

I am in charge of just doing it

 

I am in charge of my moods and temperament

 

I am in charge of taking one more step

 

I am in charge of the cards that Life has dealt me

I am in charge of whether an event, a situation–or what another has or hasn’t done to me or for me–whether it makes me or breaks me

 

I am in charge of what I do and what I do not

 

I am in charge of my doubts

 

I am in charge of my fears

 

I am in charge of my worries

 

I am in charge of my sadness

 

I am in charge of my anger

 

I am in charge of my disappointment

 

I am in charge of my frustration and annoyance

 

I am in charge of my despondency and depression

 

I am in charge of my anxieties and panicks

 

I am in charge of my body

 

I am in charge of my mind

 

I am in charge of my soul

 

I am in charge of my spirituality

 

I am in charge of how I respond to others

 

I am in charge of how I respond to situations

 

I am in charge of how I respond to events

 

I am in charge of how I respond to getting the short end of the stick

 

I am in charge of my freedom

 

I am in charge of my thoughts

 

I am in charge of my dreams

 

I am in charge!

 

If any of these statements resonate with you, jot them down and keep them handy. Say them often to yourself through out thee day.

You can do it because you ARE in charge!

 

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren

Begin Again: What to Say to Yourself

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Here are positive statements to say to yourself frequently throughout the day:

 

I choose to begin again right now. 

 

This moment is fresh and new and I step into its glorious possibilities. 

 

I release and let go of all that no longer serves me. 

 

I turn my back on the past–out of sight, out of mind. 

 

I focus on the present and look to my bright future. 

 

I’m excited about my future because it’s full of potential.

 

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Lauren