Tag Archives: Painful

Inspiring Quotes: 6 to Help You Grieve



As part of loss, we grieve.   Grief is the feelings that are inside of us.

We can feel silly grieving if it doesn’t involve the loss of a loved one. We may think that we should buck up, keep a stiff upper lip, and that we should carry on as if nothing happened.

But the loss of a job–even one we hated–or the break-up of a marriage, or any other transition–even ones we’ve longed for such as finally getting out on your own or finally retiring–can trigger grief.

It is perfectly normal to grieve your loss. Here are a few quotes to help you through:

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. ~Henri J.M. Nouwen


I remember my aunt telling me however I chose to handle this would be the right way.   There isn’t a handbook or a script.   You just take it as it comes, one day at a time. ~Kayla


Loss and heartache do not define you. They are only one part of your story. ~Unknown


The deeper that sorrow cares into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the up that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? ~Kahlil Gibran


The darker the night, the brighter the stars; the deeper the grief, the closer is God!   ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky


What feels like the end is often a new beginning. ~Unknown


A reminder: when you are dealing with a grief, reach out to others.   Counselors, religious leaders, and other professionals are trained to help. Also, friends and loved ones can offer comfort and support.

Your Friend and Pep Pal,



Self-Forgiveness: A Deeper Dive



I came across an excellent article on self-forgiveness as a critical component of healing guilt and shame.  I found it on Psychology Today’s blog.    It’s a bit of a lengthy read, but if you’re struggling with guilt, shame, and blame (or if you know someone who’s grappling with these) this article is well worth it.

The article talks about:

~The devastating effects of guilt, shame, and not forgiving yourself;

~An explanation of the difference between guilt and shame;

~Obstacles to self-forgiveness;

~Forgiving yourself when you’ve harmed others.


The article takes a closer look at four avenues of self-forgiveness:


~Common humanity;

~Earning forgiveness;

~Asking for forgiveness from Source.


My takeaway from this article was the discussion on forgiving yourself when you’ve caused harm to another.  When people talk about forgiveness, usually it’s from the vantage point of having been harmed by someone.  This is the first article that I’ve found that openly discusses how to forgive  yourself when you’ve been the perpetrator of the harm.

What insights did you get from the article?  Let me know in the comments below.  Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Self-Forgiveness: Why Forgiveness, Including Self-Forgiveness, is Important




We all know forgiveness is important, but it’s so hard to do!  As a result, we don’t actively work on forgiving and letting go.  We don’t realize the terrible toll it’s taking on us and how it’s hampering our efforts of crafting a soul-prospering life.

Here’s a sampling of what you can look forward to if you have trouble forgiving, whether it’s forgiving others or yourself:

Impatience and frustration

Fits of anger

Difficulty getting along with others

Rigid personality

Being judgmental


Blame, guilt, shame

Sadness or being in a ‘blue funk’


Negative thinking

Living a life of ‘less than’


Fixated on the past

Fatigue and lethargy




A sampling of the benefits of forgiving yourself and others:

Peace of mind, body, and spirit


Forward looking

Feelings of connectedness

Willingness to give the benefit of the doubt

No longer a prisoner of guilt, shame, and blame


Resiliency and perseverance





Scary, huh?  We’ll talk more about this tomorrow, including how you can move forward on this.

Thanks for reading and following my blog.  If you aren’t receiving these daily messages in your email then please sign up!  You’ll find the ‘subscribe’ button on the upper portion of the left hand column.  Thanks!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,


Who Am I? It’s a Great Day to Be…!



I subscribe to a marketing newsletter and the fellow who writes it often starts it with “It’s a great day to be you!” When the newsletter arrives once a week, I usually read it first thing in the morning when I start my work day. Thinking the thought “It’s a great day to be me!” gives me a boost that lasts throughout the day. If it’s a particularly tough day, the thought buoys me when I may have otherwise stumbled.

Recently a friend and I met for coffee. She’s having a tough time of it and is starting to lose hope and become demoralized. I remembered the statement from the newsletter so I told her about it and suggested she repeat the statement when she first opens her eyes in the morning and then repeats it throughout her day. She thought it was too simple and dumb, and said that it smacked too much of “new-agey woo-woo stuff”, but she agreed with me that she had nothing to lose.

She’s been doing it for only a short while and, no, it hasn’t solved all of her problems. Yet. And no, she isn’t like the Disney version of Snow White with bluebirds gaily chirping on her shoulder and cute, fluffy woodland creatures frolicking at her feet as she whistles while she works, but she says it has been helping.

Maybe she’s shifting her vibration and the Universe is responding but it could also be that saying “It’s a great day to be me!” is turning her attention to the good stuff that’s in her life–in spite of the challenges.

We talked about other statements to say, and here’s a few we really liked:

It’s a great day to be me!

I’m lucky to be me!

All sorts of good stuff is coming my way and happening to me today!

Feel free to use these statements yourself–or tweak them so that they are powerful for you.

You may be wondering, “How does this fit into our topic this week of who am I?” I’m glad you asked! These positive statements are showing you who you actually are: you’re a person who can help yourself when you run into a rough patch–you don’t have to rely on others and stay stuck while waiting for help; you can help yourself! When you realize this about yourself it makes you feel a little more capable a little more confident. This then bolsters your feelings of self-reliance and self-efficacy and this raises your confidence and gives you a strong foundation for an unshakable belief in yourself and a genuinely positive attitude.

I’ve followed my own advice and am saying these statements to myself. Join me and my friend in this habit of waking up and saying: “It’s a great day to be me!” and “I’m so lucky to be me!” and “Good stuff is coming to me and happening to me today!”

Let me know the wonderful changes that you notice!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,

Crafting a Soul-Prospering Life: 5 Things Soul-Prospered People Know About Themselves



Here are a few things people who are crafting soul-prospering lives for themselves know about themselves:

~Who they are–they have a clear sense of self;

~What they do–they know what they are good at and, therefore, how they can be effective in helping others with that same thing;

~Who they do it for–who they serve;

~What the people they serve want or need– what problem or issue they’re helping solve in partnership with the people they serve;

~What the people they serve are getting out of it–how the lives of the people they’re serving are transformed as a result of what the person is giving them.


People who are living soul-prospering lives can also be described as people who are living their purpose, achieving their mission here on earth, pursuing their destiny.

How about you? How do you describe yourself and your purpose/mission/destiny?

Your Friend and Pep Pal,


Happy New Year! A Pep Rally for 2018!



There is nothing random in the universe. Everything has a reason and a purpose behind it. We may not understand it, we may not have the science and math to explain it, but there is a reason and a purpose for everything.

Including you.

Because everything has a reason and a purpose behind it, there wasn’t any random, spur-of-the-moment creation. Everything has been meticulously planned down to the smallest detail.

Including you.

Therefore, the family you were born into, your nationality, your level of intelligence, your socio-economic status, your gifts and talents…none of this was random. It was specifically, willfully, with forethought, planned out and created.

You are in the right place in the right time and just as you ought to be in order to carry out your purpose. You have what it takes to craft a soul-prospering life for yourself–a life that makes a difference, that has an impact.

Don’t get caught up in the minutia, the little things in life such as whether or not your skin is the right color or whether or not you’re the right gender or whether or not you have the right type of last name. First of all, there isn’t much you can do about it and, secondly, these things don’t really matter anyway.

The things you can’t change about yourself–your height, your coloring, your age, etc.–don’t have any bearing on whether or not you’ll be successful because it’s your belief about what you can and can’t do, and your attitudes about yourself and the world that will determine whether you’re successful…or not.

The way you have been created has given you something unique to say and to do in this world, and it’s your mission, your purpose, to see that it gets done. What you look like, where you come from, your particular outlook on life, is what gives you your unique perspective and makes what you have to say fresh and new.

No one else can say and do what you can. No one else can bring your particular sense and sensibility and passions to the world. This is the stuff of which your compelling ‘why’ is made.   Even if other people are passionate about the same things you are, the uniqueness of you gives you a special something that no one else has. You bring something different–and desperately needed–to the conversation.

Because you are who you are, you are able to reach people in a way that no one else can.  

You have what it takes–it’s all there inside you. Trust yourself. Trust everything that you are–all of who you are–because it’s all there specifically to help you Live your purpose and your passion and achieve your mission here on Earth.

So stop fretting about things that don’t really matter and things you can’t change about yourself. Focus instead on your purpose and your mission–which is the basis of your compelling ‘why’. Then, to the best of your ability, get out there and do it!

Happy 2018!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,


Happy New Year 2018: How to Craft a Compelling ‘Why’



Your motivating factor, your compelling reason ‘why’ regarding the particular brand of soul-prospering life you want to craft, is essential to energizing you through the tough times.

Here are some examples:

Whys that grow organically out of difficult personal experiences:

Enduring grueling challenges such as poverty and abuse. These experiences have the ability to maim and crush people, but they can also be the furnace that forges a spirit that’s stronger than steel or titanium.

Whys that have their roots in observations of others’ suffering:

While you may not have suffered a particular hardship, it nonetheless affects you deeply whether you observe it in your personal life or your professional life. For instance doctors, lawyers, and other professionals that donate their time and expertise to people who can’t afford their services yet they desperately need them.

Whys that come from a “higher calling”:

These kind of ‘whys’ are easy to see in world-class athletes. They are obsessed with excelling in their particular sport but yet they may not be able to fully articulate the reason why. This type of ‘why’ is not limited to athletes. I know of a man who is a drummer. He is totally consumed with rhythms–he can’t stop himself from tapping out a beat! He makes his living picking up different gigs as well as teaching drumming, although making a living at it isn’t a requirement of a compelling ‘why’.   I have another friend who is an avid knitter. She always has a project at hand and is constantly on the lookout for patterns, yarns, and the like, yet she has never made so much as a penny from her knitting.

Don’t worry if you can’t fully articulate your ‘why’ to anyone else. You don’t need to say it to anyone. Your ‘why’ is not a justification or something that causes someone else to give you permission to go for your soul-prospering life.

Your compelling ‘why’ is only for YOUR benefit.


Money and recognition may come as a by product of the ‘whys’ but that is not at all the reason for the ‘why’

Keep working with your ‘why’ so that its roots are deep within you. You need it to intensify, which is what it does when it goes to the core of you. It may take a little time for this to happen, but keep working with it and it’ll happen!

Your Friend and Pep Pal,