Here are 7 quotes about frenemies for this week. Let me know which one(s) ring true for you.
Thank you fake friends! You’ve only made me stronger and wiser. ~Unknown
Time will prove the worth of friendship. As time goes by we lose the false ones and keep the best. True friends stay when all the rest are gone. ~Ritu Ghatourey
Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back. They’re behind you for a reason. ~Unknown
An honest enemy is better than a false friend. When in doubt, pay more attention to what people do and less to what they say. Actions not only speak louder than words, they are more difficult to fake. ~Zero Dean
An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. ~The Buddha
A friend who stands with you in pressure is more valuable than a hundred ones who stand with you in pleasure. ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
Better to have an enemy who slaps you in the face than a friend who stabs you in the back. ~Unknown
Tomorrow we’re going to be talking about handling the feelings you have after being with a frenemy. Come back and join the conversation!
Frenemy is someone who acts like a friend–they’re nice to you and they seem to cheer you on to your goals–but in subtle or even overt ways, they sabotage you. They can make you feel bad about yourself and cause you to second-guess yourself. They may take credit for the work you’ve done and they may gossip about you behind your back.
Frenemies have been around for a while. Both Cicero and Benjamin Franklin cautioned their peers about false friends–frenemies.
Sometimes frenemies are easy to spot and easy to steer clear of. They’re obviously unhappy and nasty people and you naturally shy away from them.
But sometimes they’re close to us and we don’t always recognize them for who they truly are. It could be that we work with them, or they’re in our circle of friends, or we may be related to them.
How do you deal with these people, the ones we have no choice but to live and work with?
~If you can’t eliminated your contact with them, limit it as much as you can.
Remember that it’s better to be alone for a while rather than spending time with a person who doesn’t celebrate you. It’s a big wide world out there and you’ll soon meet others who will be a true friend to you.
~Consider having a private conversation with the person.
They may not be aware of their behavior and how it’s impacting your relationship. This can be a good strategy with people with whom you’ve had a great relationship before but lately you’ve felt picked on by them. Perhaps something has changed–you’ve gotten a promotion or your dream is starting to come true–and they feel unsure if you still value them.
Even if the talk doesn’t go well, it can be an opportunity to set some ground rules and establish clear boundaries.
~Take a look at your own self-confidence. Perhaps they’re getting to you because you feel insecure or inadequate.
What areas are you feeling unsure of yourself when your frenemy is present? What can you do to increase your confidence?
~Perhaps you’ve taken your eye off your game plan and it’s a reminder to refocus.
Forget about “keeping up with the Joneses because there’s always going to be someone smarter, younger, cuter, fitter, richer, etc., than you. And trying to keep up with the Joneses can put you in contact with shallow materialistic people who tend to be frenemies.
The next tip is the one I’ve found to be most effective:
~Be cheerful, kind, and compassionate.
It might be too much to ask to behave this way immediately with your frenemy but you can behave pleasantly and with courtesy with the people around you. Not only will you strengthen your friendships with others but then when your frenemy talks behind your back, they’ll be shown to be the jerk, not you.
To sum up, the best ways to deal with frenemies are:
Steer clear of them or limit your contact with them;
I’ve been away from my blog due to Internet connection and computer troubles.
Happy Independence Day! In your celebrations, take a moment to be grateful to those who fought for our inalienable rights to personal freedoms–our freedoms that do not impinge upon or limit another’s rights, that is. Some people have served as first responders and in armed services, some have served as elected officials, and some have served as business people, community members, and advocates.
These people are you and your neighbors.
Be thankful that not only are there people brave enough to stand up for injustices and to work tirelessly for a better world for all of us, but that we live in a country where each of us has the right–the obligation, even–to do what each of us can to make our world more just and fair.
I’ve noticed that lately many people have gone into the archives of Yes I Can Pep Talks post and searched form my posts on frenemies.
This week, we’ll talk more about that because we all have frenemies in our lives. Some of them are easy to deal with because we either have limited contact with them or we know that these people are very unhappy and bitter. Usually we can quickly and easily shake off their words.
But that isn’t true of all the frenemies in our lives.
It’s the frenemies we work with, the frenemies in the clubs and organizations we belong to, the frenemies in our circle of friends, and the frenemies in our families that give us the most trouble. Let’s talk about this category of frenemies this week. We can help each other with tips and techniques we’ve found to be helpful in dealing with these people.
Today, here are a few quotes that we can keep in mind this week as we have dealings with the frenemies in our lives.
Betrayal is one of the most valuable lessons Life can teach. ~Shania Twain
Sweetie, if you’re going to be tow faced, at least make one of them pretty. ~Marilyn Monroe
When you talk about me, it says more about you. ~Joe Biden
You got nothing to lose. You don’t lose when you lose fake friends. ~Joan Jett
It’s better to be alone than to have a fake friend. ~Ann Palacioa
Fire false friends. The are in to fast-forward you fall and failure. ~Israelmore Ayivor
Some people will pretend to care jus so they can get a better seat to watch your struggle. Every helping hand isn’t always there to help. ~Unknown
Which quote(s) rang true for you? Keep it handy this week and refer to it often. It’ll help you press the reset button after you’ve had dealings with your frenemy.
The world would have us believe that opportunities are rare and that if we don’t grab them when they come along, not only are they gone forever but there may not be other ones coming our way any time soon.
I like this poem because it tells us that the sentiment stated above is not true–not at all. While certain opportunities may pass us by and be gone forever, each day brings with it not only a clean slate, but also a whole slew of new opportunities.
Enjoy the poem then afterward, in the comments section, let me know what you thought of it. Enjoy!
by Walter Malone
They do me wrong who say I come no more
When once I knock and fail to find you in;
For every day I stand outside your door
And bid you wake and rise to fight and win.
Wail not for precious chances passed away!
Weep not for golden ages on the wane!
Each night I burn the records of the day;
At sunrise every soul is born again.
Laugh like a boy at splendors that have sped;
To vanished joys be blind and deaf and dumb;
My judgments seal the dead past with its dead,
But never bind a moment yet to come.
Though deep in mire, wring not your hands and weep;
We’ve all heard that controlling our thoughts is the key to living the life of our dreams–our soul-prospering life. This is true; I can attest to it.
In my current situation, I find myself thrown together with someone who has a very strong personality and is incredibly opinionated. When I’m with these types of people I’m often overwhelmed by the force of their personalities. This current situation is giving me ample opportunity to learn at a deeper level how to control my thoughts.
When I feel overwhelmed it’s because I’m using the world’s judgment, values, and measuring tools to decide whether or not I’m good enough. I’m letting someone else decide my worthiness–or lack of it. I’m forgetting that, just like everyone else, at my core:
~I am good enough.
~I am awesome at being me
~I am valuable
~I am needed
~I am fully loaded with awesome gifts and talents
~I am capable and competent
~I am destined to make my mark
These statements are true about you, too!
Feel free to use the above statements and say them to yourself over and over and over again whenever you feel overwhelmed, intimidated, not good enough, or any other emotion that makes you feel less than. You are much, much more than you realize.