I was clicking around the Internet and came across this poem. I liked it very much because it explains that letting go doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve given up or thrown in the towel. Letting go can mean that you’re allowing a loved one to learn by reaping the consequences of their actions–or inactions. Letting go can mean that you realize it isn’t your place to always solve everyone else’s problems.
Here’s the poem to read for yourself:
Letting Go by Author Unknown
To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; It means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off… It’s the realization that I can’t control another…
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective, It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
I like this poem because it’s reminiscent of the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr. In this poem, Letting Go, as with Niebuhr’s poem, is filled with common sense wisdom that is deeply profound as it is simple.
Let me know what you think of this poem. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks!
This post was published earlier this year on 1/27/17 and it continues to be an excellent reminder that it’s the journey and not the destination that that matters. It’s what we learn, who we meet, the new things we see, and the interesting things that we discover. And it’s how all of this enriches us and our life and how we then share this with others.
This poem also reminds us that riches and influence can be useful tools in crafting a soul-prospering life, but they aren’t what’s truly important. It’s the comforting silence as well as the laughter shared with dear friends and loved ones; playing with your kids; making a difference in someone’s life. These achievements are the true successes in life.
Your Friend and Pep Pal,
I’d Rather Be a Failure by Edgar A. Guest
I came across this poem and I thought you might like it, too.
I’d Rather Be a Failure by Edgar A. Guest
I’d rather be a failure than the man who’s never tried;
I’d rather seek the mountain-top than always stand aside.
Oh, let me hold some lofty dream and make my desperate fight,
And though I fail I still shall know I tried to serve the right.
The idlers line the ways of life and they are quick to sneer;
They note the failing strength of man and greet it with a jeer;
But there is something deep inside which scoffers fail to view—
They never see the glorious deed the failure tried to do.
Some men there are who never leave the city’s well-worn streets;
They never know the dangers grim the bold adventurer meets;
They never seek a better way nor serve a nobler plan;
They never risk with failure to advance the cause of man.
Oh, better ’tis to fail and fall in sorrow and despair,
Than stand where all is safe and sure and never face a care;
Yes, stamp me with the failure’s brand and let men sneer at me,
For though I’ve failed, the Lord shall know the man I tried to be.
Just like you, I’ve been paralyzed with fear–unable to move forward, unable to move backward or to the side; plain old unable to move. Period.
I knew I had to move forward, though. To stay stuck would have meant death, not physical death, but the price of giving in to fear and terror is that a little piece of your essence must die. And the price of staying stuck in fear and terror is that little pieces of your essence, your spirit, are continually, imperceptibly, chipped away from you. At first, you don’t really notice. But then one day you awake to find that you are so incredibly far off the mark of who you thought you’d be. And you wonder if it’s too late to become who you know you could have been….
That is the true horror.
Better to face the terror and fear, better to figure out a way to do something about it, than to let it slowly kill you.
At the end of this post, I’ll share with you four additional tips of how to take the next step when you are terrified.
TAKING ACTION: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE PARALYZED WITH FEAR
When you’re in a state of anxiety, worry, fear, panic, or terror, it’s difficult to think straight and it’s even more difficult to take any action. Our natural tendency is to want to hide or to run in the opposite direction.
But hiding or running “for the hills” will not help. It may feel good for a little while but the issue is still there, lurking, waiting to pounce the moment you peep out of where you ducked for cover.
Yesterday we talked about Life’s Ambushes and how they can terrorize us. We learned that the best thing to do in that case is to take action. (click here to be taken to that post).
But if you’re scared stiff, how the heck are you supposed to move, much less take action?!
By breaking the actions into steps and breaking those into small parts and little pieces. Then break those into tidbits; break those into jots…. Keep breaking things down into smaller and smaller increments until you get to the tiny specks that you are confident that you can do–even if those specks are as small as atoms or even electrons! Then do them–cross them off your To Do list one by one.
You might be thinking: Easy for you to say but what does that look like, exactly?
Okay, let’s say you need a new job. You easily and quickly wrote up an excellent resume, you emailed and called all your contacts, and you looked online at different job postings. The last pro-active thing on your list is to call an employment agency to speak with a recruiter. But let’s say that you had a very bad experience previously so now just the thought of calling the agency creates such distress in you that you are literally trembling.
Break down the task of making the phone call into itsy-bitsy fragments of steps.
For instance, one day you put it on your To Do list to just think in general about phones. Perhaps you find it interesting that they were invented in the late 1800’s. You may find it fascinating thinking about the amazing changes telephone technology has gone through in the 139 years of its existence.
That’s all you have to do for the day. You can cross it off your To Do list! Make sure you congratulate yourself–pat yourself on the back for a job well done! Then reward yourself: listen to your favorite music for a half hour, read for 15 minutes, watch an episode of your favorite TV program, spend a half hour with your favorite hobby.
The next day you write down that you want to think of the phones you’ve had over the years: the clunky wired ones of your childhood all the way to the sleek wrist models that recently came to market.
Once you do this, then you’re done for the day. You don’t have to think about phones or phone calls to the recruiter at all! Again, cross it off your list and then celebrate your victory!
The following day, think about your current phone, it’s color and style. Remember the feel of it–its shape and its weight in your hand. Maybe, at this point, you can push yourself a little bit and think about the last conversation you had using it, or when you talked to your friend or loved one on the phone.
When that’s done, you can cross it off the list and celebrate. You did it!
Over the next few days you take the next few bits of steps: You’ll look at the phone; another day you’ll touch the phone; after that you’ll pick up the phone and listen to the dial tone. After each task finished, you’ll cross it off your list and celebrate.
Notice that each day you have something to cross off your To Do list–this is evidence that you are making progress which builds confidence and momentum. Notice, too, that you celebrate each day what you did that day. This shows your mind that facing your fear and taking small bits of action results in making progress and that there’s a reward for dealing with scary stuff and that reward feels good and makes you happy.
This conditions you to focus on successful outcomes!
Gradually you’ll progress to dialing the agency’s phone number and actually speaking to a recruiter.
While this example may seem silly and extreme, the principles apply to how to break down your action steps into teensy-tiny specks.
Sometimes, in order to conquer fear so you can move forward, the actions you take must be itsy-bitsy. If this is how small you have to break them down in order to move forward, it does not make you a weakling or incompetent, incapable, or silly.
Quite the contrary.
It makes you very, very brave because instead of shaking uncontrollably and staying frozen to the spot with fear, you are finding a way to move forward–in spite of your shaking and in spite of the terror.
That makes you brave.
That makes you courageous.
That makes you a hero!
Your homework is to take the next step. With your head held high, break that step into smaller and smaller pieces until you get to the tiny dots that you know you can easily accomplish. Then do them!
Then look in the mirror and see what a true hero looks like!
You can do it!
I’m so very proud of you!
Your Friend and Pep Pal,
When you’re going through this process of moving inspite of your paralyzing fear, it helps to have someone to talk to. This person can be a loved one, trusted friend, or trained professional. I urge you to reach out to others because it helps you see the truth that you are not alone in feeling terrified.
Also, devise a playlist for yourself. Youtube has a wide variety of uplifting music–ranging from sacred songs to pop music and everything in between–as well as motivational and inspirational messages. Check out Librivox, too (librivox.org). It’s a great resource for audios of books that are in the public domain.
Make sure you get your rest! Research is showing that 7 – 9 hours of sleep is required for optimal performance. When you’re tired, your emotions are ragged and you’re more apt to react poorly to little annoyances that normally would have rolled right off you. Also, when you’re fatigued, you don’t do your best thinking and you can forget about being creative or inventive–skills that are needed when you’re working your way through problems.
Make sure you eat nutritious food! Do NOT reach for the bag of chips, gallon of ice cream, package of cookies, and the soda–or alcohol–to wash it all down. And, step away from the fast food! J Add fresh fruits and vegetables to your diet, as well as other nutritious foods. Your body needs good fuel to do its best thinking and its best work. It’s your responsibility to give good stuff to your body!
Take the next itty bitty tiny step toward your soul-prospering life. You can do it, I believe in you!
I’m always on the lookout for good quotes. The best ones–the ones that resonate with us–contain not only wisdom for the particular situation in which we find ourselves, but also they have a little packet of energy that’s just the boost we need to take the next few steps.
In the comments section, let me know of these will help you take the next steps in crafting your soul-prospering life. Thanks!
Your Friend and Pep Pal,
BABY STEPS: A FEW QUOTES TO ENCOURAGE YOU
What baby steps are you going to take this week toward your dreams? Here are a few quotes about baby steps to “prove” to you that they really do work.
Progress. Just make progress. It’s okay to have setbacks and the need for do-overs. It’s okay to draw a line in the sand and start over again – and again. Just make sure you’re moving the line forward. Move forward. Take baby steps… Then change will come. And it will be good. ~Lysa TerKeurst
You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.~Martin Luther King, Jr.
To make the quickest progress, you don’t have to take huge leaps. You just have to take baby steps-and keep on taking them. In Japan, they call this approach kaizen, which literally translates as ‘continual improvement.’ Using kaizen, great and lasting success is achieved through small, consistent steps. It turns out that slow and steady is the best way to overcome your resistance to change.~Marci Shimoff It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.~Confucius
Pause and remember – Everyone gets discouraged and feels lost at times. Don’t worry – life will get better. A new way is being made for you. Keep moving forward even if it’s just baby steps.~Jennifer Young
Babies learning to walk embody the deepest truth about deep practice: to get good, it’s helpful to be willing, or even enthusiastic, about being bad. Baby steps are the royal road to skill.~Daniel Coyle Little by little does the trick. ~Aesop Go gently and slowly. These are baby steps. Progress, not perfection, is what we should be asking of ourselves.~Julia Cameron You’re never too old to take baby steps. ~Capital STEEZ
Don’t look too far in the future, don’t worry about how you’re going to have enough time or enough money or enough smarts; the “how?” is up to God. Just put your whole focus on this moment, doing this baby step at this moment; and then once you finish that one, God and the angels will give you the next assignment and so on and so forth.~Doreen Virtue I knew it was unrealistic to think I could build an institution overnight. But if I took baby steps, eventually it would happen.~Russell Simmons Seeing a pattern doesn’t mean you know how to put it all together. Take baby steps: don’t focus on the folks whose skills are far beyond your own. When you’re new to something-or you haven’t tried it in a while-it can feel impossibly hard to get it right. Every misstep feels like a reason to quit. You envy everyone else who seems to know what they’re doing. What keeps you going? The belief that one day you’ll also be like that: Elegant. Capable. Confident. Experienced. And you can be. All you need is enthusiasm, a little bravery, a sense of humor, and to regularly take baby steps.~Kate Jacobs
In the comments below, let me know which of these quotes you like the best. Thanks!
This post was originally published earlier this year on May 7, 2017. Lately, I’ve revisited this topic of morning routines and have discovered a few astonishing facts. I’m preparing posts now and they’ll appear in the new year. Stay tuned!
One fact that I’ve discovered is that people who are living soul-prospering lives—those who are fully immersed in their passions and purpose—have very specific morning routines and they treat this time as sacrosanct. They awake early, keep their environment quiet and have subdued lighting, and they don’t immediately check emails, social media, or start making phone calls.
Also, they allow their creative mind time to play. They may do this through meditation, contemplation, or prayer, or they may daydream or do some form of light, relaxed exercise. Some people enjoy journaling or doodling as a way to let their creative mind have some fun.
As I said, we’ll be delving into this topic in 2018 and for now, please let the following post whet your appetite—and give you something to think about!
Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Start the Week off Right: Get Up When Your Alarm First Rings
James Allen states that there are beginnings we have no control over, for instance we may have been laid off from work and now we’re facing the beginning of unemployment and the process of looking for a new job. He advises to not focus on these beginnings, aside from taking care of our responsibilities, but rather to focus on the beginnings we have total and complete control over. He says that these types of beginnings are of vital importance because they create the complex web of results that then make up our life. He went on to say that these beginnings are controlled by our thoughts and mental attitudes, and the resulting daily conduct and actions we take.
According to James Allen, the first beginning to focus on—the easiest one to take control of—is the start of a new day, namely when your alarm clock first rings. He suggests answering these questions because “…much happiness or unhappiness depends upon the right or wrong beginning of the day…”:
~At what time does the alarm go off?
~Do we immediately get up?
~In what frame of mind do we enter the sacredness of a new day?
~How do we go about getting ready for the day?
One of his suggestions is to rise at an early hour, even if we don’t have to because this will help “…start the day strongly by shaking off indolence.”
Then this statement jumped out at me: “…How are you to develop strength of will in mind and body if you begin every day by yielding to weakness?”
He’s telling us to stop hitting the snooze button and to get up when our alarm first goes off.
I get his point that by hitting the snooze alarm, we aren’t really getting a few extra Zzzz’s—in fact researchers have shown that hitting the snooze alarm does not help; the “extra sleep” you get is not restful. James Allen is saying that when we hit the snooze alarm what we’re actually doing is telling our mind and body that it’s okay to procrastinate, it’s okay to indulge ourselves, it’s okay to go for instant gratification.
James Allen goes on to say: “Self-indulgence is always followed by unhappiness. People who lie abed until a late hour are never bright and cheerful and fresh but are the prey of irritabilities, depressions…and all unhappy moods.”
He then goes on to say that hitting the snooze alarm is like an alcoholic taking a nip in order to brace him/herself and steady his/her nerves for the upcoming issues in the day.
It’s our self-indulgence in hitting the snooze alarm that creates indolence and avoidance that is creating the issues–it’s our weaknesses and our pandering to our moods and emotions that are at the root cause of the issues that we’re avoiding!
James Allen adds: :…Men and women are totally unaware of the great losses which they entail by this common indolence (hitting the snooze alarm): loss of strength of both mind and body, loss of prosperity, loss of knowledge, and loss of happiness.
James Allen isn’t the only one who urges getting up early and getting up right away. Earl Nightingale, Brian Tracy, Wayne Dyer and other successful people join him in this. One of James Allen suggestions for this “extra time” is to take a gentle walk in Nature. Earl Nightingale, Brian Tracy, Wayne Dyer, and others advise filling the time with studying sacred and/or inspirational writings, studying the industry in which we work, and pursuing other avenues of self-development and education.
Usually I get up the first time the alarm rings. Occasionally, though, I’ve let myself sleep a little later, commonly on the weekends. I have noticed that James Allen’s statement is true: I seem to be a little less focused and less productive on the days I allow myself to catch up on my sleep. In fact, I had been wondering if it wouldn’t be better to get up at my normal time and take a short nap during the day if I need it. I guess James Allen’s answer would be YES!!!
This week’s challenge is to get up on time—when the alarm first rings. Let me know the differences you notice in your week. Feel free to leave your comments below. Thanks!
This post was originally published almost a year ago on 12/17/16. The thoughts are as relevant today as they were a year ago. And, these ideas will still be powerful in the years to come.
Enjoy the post!
YEAR END REFLECTIONS QUOTES TO MAKE YOU THINK
Here are a few quotes that’ll make you change your thinking–just a little bit. And that little bit might be enough to let in the idea that’ll make the difference for you.
There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. ~Aristotle
What this is telling us is that no matter what we do or don’t do, there’s always someone who will find fault with it, tell us they’ve already done it, that someone else is doing it better…etc.. So don’t worry about others. Keep your mind and actions focused on what your heart and soul are guiding you to do.
Aristotle is still right: no matter what you do or don’t do, someone will criticize you and gripe about it. You may as well live your passions, pursue your dreams, and craft your soul-prospering life!
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture your heart. ~Ancient Indian Proverb
There’s all sorts of flashy, sparkly things that capture our attention. Oftentimes we think we ought to go after these because everyone else is. But our eyes can sometimes mislead us so it’s important to take what our eyes see and run it through the wisdom of our heart and soul. If it captures them, then we can proceed. If not, then we should let it go and continue looking for that which thrills our heart and soul!
Our world is noisy and brash; there’s always something flashy to capture your attention. The things that matter, though, are the ones that capture your heart and soul. THOSE are the things to pursue because they are resonating with the Still Small Voice within. Go for it!
Let me know what you think of these–if they’ve resonated with you. Leave your thoughts in the comments section below. Thanks!
Your Friend and Pep Pal,
Keep these thoughts–or other thoughts that are favorites of yours–within reach. Refer to them often and let their wisdom and their power infuse you and give you the energy to take the next step.
You see quotes about hard work and you see successful people who seem to work all the time, and all the motivational videos on YouTube seem to feature men sweating profusely as they push the limits working out with weights or boxing in the ring. It seems like a lot of effort and energy.
Most of all, it seems very painful…and lonely.
But that isn’t true.
Sure there are going to be sacrifices you’ll have to make but those sacrifices don’t have to be your family or friends or the activates that make your heart sing.
But there will be sacrifices you’ll have to make. They’ll be thinks like sacrificing:
~watching hours on end of mindless and dumb TV;
~hanging out with people who don’t celebrate you;
~participating in activities you don’t enjoy;
~volunteer projects that you were guilted into joining;
~spending more time at work than what you really need to;
~trying to stay up with the latest trends in pop culture;
~wasting hours on social media and feeling deflated because of it;
~using a toothbrush to clean every nook and cranny of your home…
What if your loved ones and true friends complain that they don’t see much of you anymore? Find a way to make them a part of what you’re doing to create a soul-prospering life.
Perhaps they can’t help you with hands-on tasks but showing them and explaining to them what you’re doing can give them a better idea of what you’re doing. They’ll come to understand how important it is to you. Then, they’re more likely to help you create more time in your schedule to pursue your purpose and passion. You’ll probably inspire them to do the same for themselves. And this will then help you build richer, fuller relationships with those you love and those who are important to you.
It’s a win all around!
Plus that, doing the work isn’t really that hard or uncomfortable because your soul-prospering work is what you love and enjoy doing.
If you aren’t loving it or enjoying it in spite of the challenges then you are working someone else’s idea of what your soul-prospering work and soul-prospering life should be.
IMMEDIATELY change it to what is soul-prospering for YOU!!!!!