It is undeniably true that continuing effort will often bring success. But when all of your best efforts have failed…there may be a barrier between you and the change you want to make. Consider the possibility that this barrier is in actuality a protection and that you have a good reason for avoiding this change. ~Lynne Bernfield, When You Can You Will
I came across today’s quote as I was leafing through the book When You Can You Will by Lynne Bernfield, M.A., M.F.C.T.
The truth of it made me stop and think.
In innumerable ways we’re told that ‘quitters never win and winners never quit’. While it’s important to keep trying, evaluating, then trying again, it’s also very important to stop and take the time to think about what the blockage is telling you.
What larger failure or pain is the barrier protecting you from?
Perhaps it’s your way of protecting yourself from making a fool out of yourself. Maybe your Greater Self is trying to tell you that you need more preparation. Perhaps your Greater Self knows that when you make the changes that your life will be altered in profound ways and maybe you need to slow down and think through how you’re going to handle it.
Interesting to think about and see how it applies to our lives!
What do you think about barriers actually being ways that we’re caring for and protecting ourselves? Let me know in the comments section below!
Maria Forleo, anIinternet entrepreneur, interviewed Steven Pressfield, a successful author, about Steven’s latest book entitled Turning Pro. In the interview Maria and Steven talked about the transformative power of deciding to be professional about going for their dreams.
When you’re working hard to improve your life but that change is slow in coming… when you’ve done everything you can think of yet nothing seems to be making a difference…when you reallyreallyreally want to follow the advise of that negative voice within you that’s telling you to quit, give up, throw in the towel…
Here’s a short playlist of songs I found on YouTube that can help you hang tough and carry on:
I was watching the movie What the Bleep Do We Know?! and Miceal Ledwith, one of the scientists interviewed in the movie, said—I’m paraphrasing here—that what passes for positive thinking is really just a thin smear attempting to disguise a vastness of negative thinking.
There are times when I am in a rut with how I habitually think about certain things and, once I realize this, I can–and do–choose to think more positive thoughts instead.
However, there are larger issues in all our lives and pasting a smiley face over these is exactly what Miceal Ledwith was speaking about, I think. In this instance, it’s silly to think that “turning that frown upside down” is going to make a difference; we need to take a look at the deeper issues involved.
Having said that, I think we can take a hopeful attitude–if not actually positive–that as we do the work of bringing peace to these weightier concerns, we will discover answers.
What do you think about Miceal Ledwith’s statement? Let me know in the comments section below!
Your success is not in your comfort zone. ~Barry Skalka, SCORE Mentor
The challenge is not to be in the know but to be in the mystery~Fred Alan Wolf, Ph.D. in What the Bleep Do We Know!?
Are you out–of your comfort zone, that is!
These quotes point out a critical fact about moving toward your dreams: You are going to spend a lot of time feeling uncomfortable because you’ll be unsure of what you’re doing and where you’re going. This is because you’ll be doing, thinking, feeling, deciding, in ways you never have before. Feeling nervous, anxious, unsure, and plain old uncomfortable are normal and natural signs that you are breaking new ground; you’re on your way to your dreams!
Anxiety & doubt are normal signs that you’re breaking new ground; you’re on your way to your dreams!@YesICanPepTalksTweet this!
To make sure you stay outside your comfort zone, search out that which you don’t know, have no template for, and that makes you stretch and grow beyond what you think are the ends of your capabilities. The good news is that even though, periodically, you may have to travel by yourself, you aren’t alone. Most of the time, there are at least a few pioneers who have traveled a similar path as yours and usually they’ve left breadcrumbs and trail markers along the way.
You may be by yourself but you aren’t alone. Other travelers have left trail markers along the way! @YesICanPepTalks Tweet this!
As you review your week and the month of March, note the areas–the tasks and the projects–where you are procrastinating. Most likely it’s due to feeling uncomfortable in some form. Remind yourself that this is normal and natural. In fact, celebrate this because it means you’re moving out of your comfort zone!
And, as always, make sure you congratulate yourself for the progress you have made–no matter how small–and the times you did step out of your comfort zone–no matter how brief. This is GREAT stuff!
Celebrate your progress, no matter how tiny, and your forays out of your comfort zone, no matter how brief. via @YesICanPepTalks Tweet this!
Let me know in the comments section below about the progress you’re making. I want to celebrate with you!
Here’s what I’m celebrating that I did: I made a 8.5″ x 11″ poster in PDF format that’s FREE for YOU! Check out the “Free” tab above (click here to be taken to it) and follow the instructions. It’s my pleasure to share this with you! 🙂
Remember: If one of your friends, loved ones, or colleagues can benefit from this post, please feel free to pass it along. Thanks!
~Fuel my body, which includes being more intentional about exercising, eating and getting enough sleep;
~Identify my 3 must-do items for each day;
~Turn off all distractions!
For me, these 4 hacks are going to do more to ground me and keep me centered and focus all day long. And, the end-of-day hack of listing three wins is, for me, critical to show myself that I’m making progress and there are good things happening. This is, and will be, especially important when I hit a rough patch.
Which of the hacks do you think will be most helpful to you? Which ones will you implement today–and every day going forward? Let me know in the comments below!
If you know of a loved one, friend, or colleague who can benefit from this post, please feel free to pass it along to them.
In case you don’t have time to read their short article, here it is in summary:
“There’s a lot more going on here…”
That difficult employee, customer, friend, loved one, etc., isn’t being “that way” just to be a pain. Look below/behind the words or actions to understand what’s really going on.
“That wasn’t nearly as bad as I had imagined”
Usually, our imaginations build up the unknown into something enormous and waaaaaay too hard for us to handle…or so we think. Once we break things down into little bite-sized pieces of babysteps, the unknown isn’t ever as bad or hard as we had imagined.
“No one will do that…so I will”
Do what others are unwilling to do
“I can’t do everything today, but I can take one small step.”
Once again, breaking big steps into small babysteps and breaking those into bite-sized pieces–and then following through on doing those pieces–is the key to moving toward your dreams.
“I need to just shut up”
Like the old adage says: That’s why we have only one mouth but two ears!
“I need their help”
No one knows everything or can do everything and there is no shame in asking for a helping hand–especially if you’re “supposed to be” an expert. From personal experience, it makes me feel great to be able to help someone. If that person is supposed to be more knowledgeable or more skilled than me yet I am able to help them, it doesn’t make me think of them as less than or that they’re an impostor. Instead, I feel privileged to be able to help someone farther down the path than I am. It makes me feel better about myself–that I really do have something valuable and helpful to offer.
“They need my help.”
It’s a privilege and honor to help others when we can.
“It doesn’t matter what others might say”
We shouldn’t let other people’s thoughts/values/judgments stand in the way of what we know to be right and true for our lives.
“That isn’t my responsibility, but I don’t care.”
This is especially important if you’re the Big Boss. Nothing inspires a team/company more–especially when facing a crisis–than having everyone, including the Big Boss, roll up their sleeves and dive in to do what ever needs doing no matter how menial or seemingly trivial.
“I’ll show you!”
Don’t be afraid or intimidated by someone else’s pronouncement of you, your abilities, and your chances of success. Step up to the plate and do what you have to do in order to prove them wrong!
“It isn’t perfect…and that’s okay.”
Of course you want to do the best you can, but sometimes good enough is indeed good enough.
“I think I’ll try it their way.”
Why re-invent the wheel?!
“I’ll step up.”
Saying “yes” and volunteering can sometimes be the shortest and quickest route to success.
“They’re no different from me.”
The old saying is true, even about the most successful and powerful of people: They put their pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
“I could have done it better.”
Without devolving into a pity party or a self-flagellation session, evaluate your actions–or in-actions!–and keep your eye open for better ways to do things.
“I shouldn’t…but I’ll still say ‘yes’.”
Get out of your comfort zone!
“I could…but I’ll still say ‘no’.”
It’s hard to say ‘no’, especially to a friend or family member. But sometimes ‘no’ is the best way we can help them.
“It isn’t all about me.”
Staying true to yourself is not the same as just being yourself. Staying true is about integrity and honor whereas just being yourself can be immature and annoying.
“If nothing else, I will succeed on effort alone.”
Persistence and effort are key ingredients of success. Sometimes all you have is your ability to out-think, out-believe, out-hustle, and old fashioned out-work everyone else that makes the difference.
I liked all of the thoughts but the first two resonated with me.
“There’s a lot more going on here…”: I’ve found that it’s true that most people are decent and want to be helpful and that they’re part of the solution. When they’re cranky and difficult, there’s usually something going on behind the scenes that I don’t know about. If I take the moment or two to find out what’s really going on, why they’re reacting the way they are, I can then get out of the way by stopping myself from feeling insulted or attacked, and I can focus on the person and try to help where they really need it.
“That wasn’t nearly as bad as I had imagined”: I have an excellent imagination and it’s VERY good at making the unknown seem much bigger, far harder, and just plain old scarier than what it actually turns out to be. I’ve lost count on the number of times I’ve dragged my feet over starting something new only to then say after I’ve started or finished it “Gee, that wasn’t bad at all!” Many times it turns out to be fun!
Which one of these thoughts do you like the best? Which ones are you going to implement? Feel free to share in the comments section below.
Also, please pass this post along to a loved one, friend, or colleague who you think may be helped by it.